Long story short. Abusive marriage ended 2.5 years ago, ex still trying his hardest to control me through dc. Dc have had a tough time but we've enjoyed last couple of years just the 3 of us.
9 months ago I met someone, he's really lovely and would like to take things further with me. He's very briefly met my dc as a "friend" a few times, he's also met my sister, they all like him.
No rush, obviously, but I'm starting to consider him and I becoming more serious, spending more time together both as a couple and also with my dc. I think he would be a lovely example of a male figure for my dc, something which is sorely lacking (their dad, my dad, my stepdad all shit examples of men).
But I feel crippling fear of making the wrong decision and it impacting my dc. It's not like when I was younger and jumped in and out of relationships with no consequence. If he starts seeing my dc more, or even eventually living with us, how do I ensure it goes smoothly and what happens if it doesn't?
I'm possibly overthinking it as I have an awful relationship with my own stepdad and consequently my mum.
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Fear that my decisions will ruin dc's lives
Mycatatetherat · 12/08/2019 18:03
The fact that you're even thinking about all this shows that you are not rushing into it.
You DC has already met your OH as a friend and they get on well.
I would go for it, what's the other option? Stay alone forever in fear? I'm sure your DC wouldn't want that either! 
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