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Support thread for partners of people with MH problems

(7 Posts)
Toomanytears Mon 12-Aug-19 07:44:38

I asked on the mental health board if there was a thread for partners of those with MH issues and there doesn't seem to be. A few people suggested I started one on the relationship board.

My dh has depression, anxiety, OCD and addiction issues. Our world was pretty standard up until 6 months ago when an incident occurred and all this shit came tumbling out. He's been burying SO much stuff but it has to be dealt with now. He is having counseling and taking various medication and I can see that he is trying to get well.

I am trying to support him but we also have 3 primary aged DC and there are days when, if I'm honest, I just want to leave. I know that's not an 'acceptable' thing to say. Only a couple of people irl know he has any problems at all and really what can they do? It's me who is doing everything. I've done the majority of the childcare historically but now I feel like I'm doing all of it! I never know what mood he'll be in. We can't go to new places because of his anxiety and OCD. He sometimes acknowledges that all of this is hard on me and I do know that he's having a really hard time too but I just wanted to have somewhere to say that on some days I've had enough and not be judged.

Toomanytears Mon 12-Aug-19 14:13:03


ThirdThoughts Mon 12-Aug-19 15:03:38

It's hard. My husband suffers from depression and I find it difficult even though I have suffered with it (and anxiety) in the past.

Do you go out to new places without him? Is he recieving treatment?

ThirdThoughts Mon 12-Aug-19 15:05:29

Sorry, I see he is receiving treatment. That's good but obviously doesn't mean it's easy for you.

Toomanytears Tue 13-Aug-19 23:12:14

I still try and live my life as best I can. Did people irl know about your dh? Mine doesn't want me to tell people but I have told 1 locally.

Fluffyd0g Tue 13-Aug-19 23:37:58

It is exhausting. You know there is no intentions to make things harder for you, but there is no break.

My Dh has an anxiety disorder and he is trying to find a way to manage it, but he does not see how him choosing to do more stuff impacts me and our 2 dc.
He also shuts off emotionally from me and refuses to talk to me, so I am now an outsider in my own marriage.
I agree totally some days enough is really enough.

Toomanytears Wed 14-Aug-19 09:22:19

Ah yes, my dh feels things will be better if he regularly runs and does 3(!) other physical activities a week, 1 daily the other 2 once/twice a week. I know exercise can help and I am supportive but I've not been running for 2 weeks because I can't fit it in!

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