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Want to visit my sister today for her birthday, but mum is making out it ruins their plans.

(16 Posts)
Pinkchampagne Fri 03-Aug-07 11:23:23

It was my sister's 30th birthday yesterday, but she was whisked off to a health spa with BIL, so I couldn't see her.
I have spoken to her today, and she is keen for me to come over with the boys to visit her. She lives 30 miles away, and I don't drive, so she asked if I could get a lift with my parents this morning.
I spoke to mum, who made excuses as to why she couldn't take us with her, so I have to make my own way over, which means I can get to my sister's just after 1pm.
Mum said that this will mean she can't take my sister out to lunch, so I said I wouldn't go if it was going to spoil their day. (I am going to a friends house this evening, so don't want to leave it much later)
I said I wouldn't go if it is going to ruin their plans, but my sister has been on the phone again & really wants me to come over. She has suggested to mum that we all go out to a country pub or something, where the children can play, but mum says that will be a nightmare.
I don't know whether I should go over or not now. My BIL has organised a suprise party for my sister tomorrow night, but she obviously has no idea about this, and I don't want her to think I am not bothering with her on her birthday, but I don't want to ruin my parents plans either.

PrettyCandles Fri 03-Aug-07 11:26:16

Sound like your parents have planned some sort of surprise for her, but why won't they discuss it with you?

If you're OK with not seeing her until tomorrow, why not phone her and explain that your parents can't give you a lift today, so you'll try and get over to her in the next few days. If she asks why they can't give you a lift, just say you don't know, they didn't say.

Baffy Fri 03-Aug-07 11:27:14

Why is your mum so keen to find ways to not include you in their day today?

I'd make your way over there if I were you. It's your sister, you want to see her, and she wants to see you.

fawkeoff Fri 03-Aug-07 11:28:42

awwww pink think its a bit inconsiderate for ur mum not to take in account that u want to see each other.....especially after losing ur nan a few weeks ago (hope ur holding well anyway x).idont realy have an answer to ur dilemma only that u could pretend to see her on sunday and then see her tomoz nite

FioFio Fri 03-Aug-07 11:29:13

Message withdrawn

Carmenere Fri 03-Aug-07 11:32:54

your mum is a piece of work PC. Just tell her that the birthday girl wants to go out for lunch with all of you.

Pinkchampagne Fri 03-Aug-07 12:03:57

That does put things in perspective, Fio, tuesday must have been a tough day for you.

The thing with mum is that she gets pretty jealous of my sister & I spending time together, it is kind of strange, so she will not want me included because she probably just doesn't want me there.

I have decided that I'm definitely going to go though. It was my sister's birthday, and my sister wants me round, so I'm going to see her!

Baffy Fri 03-Aug-07 13:04:05

Good for you!

Strange that your mum is jealous
I'd have thought spending time with both of you, and your children, would have been perfect for her.

Pinkchampagne Fri 03-Aug-07 18:08:08

Well I went, and my parents had already left by the time we arrived. They didn't go out for lunch anywhere, so my sister & myself had a chicken sandwich & a glass of champagne in her garden!
We had a nice afternoon, and I'm pleased I went.

Carmenere Fri 03-Aug-07 18:08:45

Good for you PC

aloha Fri 03-Aug-07 18:15:52

WTF is your mum playing at?

LIZS Fri 03-Aug-07 18:22:22

Glad you went pc .

pinkbubble Fri 03-Aug-07 18:24:23

just thinking about you PC, just saw your DS popping to your Mothers. Glad you went.


handlemecarefully Fri 03-Aug-07 18:25:54

God Pinkchampagne - I don't want to be rude about your mother but words fail me. Frankly I couldn't think of anything nicer as parent to have adult children (if you know what I mean) that get along with and care for each other.

Glad you had a nice afternoon with your sister

Pinkchampagne Fri 03-Aug-07 18:49:53

I presume you mean my sister not my son, when you say you saw my DS popping to my mothers, bubble! I hope both DS's are still in the lounge!!

My sister drove me home in the end, which was good of her, and she was planning to pop into mum's for a cup of tea before driving back. she is feeling pretty fed up with mum atm though.

I know mum is going through a lot with nan's death atm, and we are all trying to be understanding, it is hard for everyone. Today has got to both of us quite a bit though.

Pinkchampagne Fri 03-Aug-07 19:07:43

My mum was upset that BIL took my sister to the health spa yesterday because she wanted to visit her then.

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