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Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

(1000 Posts)
Ginmel Sun 04-Aug-19 21:03:50

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites &

Savoretti Sun 04-Aug-19 21:06:44

Ooh lovely shiny new thread 😊

I’m away at the moment but just caught up and want to send wine and cake to @Ant. You have totally done the right thing and established your boundaries, but we all know that is not easy, and we also all know how much you liked MissH. Self care and self indulgence for a few days now...

Sunshineandflipflops Sun 04-Aug-19 21:13:12

Haha, love the thread title @Ginmel 😂

Ginmel Sun 04-Aug-19 21:14:13

Hmm seems Mr C is still around. I think he is just a bit more measured than me which isn't a bad thing at all.

Ginmel Sun 04-Aug-19 21:31:25

Thanks @Sunshineandflipflops it was a typo from someone in the last thread

Sunshineandflipflops Sun 04-Aug-19 21:59:21

Me 😂

Neverexpected2 Sun 04-Aug-19 22:05:26

Thanks for the new thread Ginmel 😊

Ant - another here that thinks you've done right thing. You deserve better and as hard as it is to finally pull the plug I think it will be for best for you.

So I had a first date today with new iron that I matched with wednesday. Really wasnt sure what to expect as he come across as normal but very keen but he was also someone I really fancied - it's rare I find all 3 in one iron 😉

So we met in city centre and it was amazing. Nearly 6 hours later and I only left as had to get back for kids. We laughed, flirted like crazy and found a cool bar with secluded nooks so there was lots of kissing too. We said we wanted to meet again but I'm not childfree again for another week now (school hols) so who knows but even if nothing comes of it it really was a fab afternoon 😊

notmrscookie Sun 04-Aug-19 22:27:00

So pleased for those with irons ..Am back on Pof after a long break.. Issue is I am a bigger lady aged 44 and find it really hard .. A lot of the blokes are 55 plus.. Really not sure if I am ready....

kerkyra Sun 04-Aug-19 22:27:31

Sounds like a great date neverexpected. It's so rare to find someone who ticks so many boxes .

Last nights date txt back that yes,sure we can meet up again. Oh fab,I said,just let me know when.
But now he's just txting about football and it just seems to be banter,so I think I'm probably friendzone,like all his other dates. I'm cool either way,it was a good date so if we get another,great,if not then he wasnt for me.

Ginmel Sun 04-Aug-19 22:36:18

Sounds like a great date @neverexpected2

@notmrscookie I am not exactly skinny. I have a photo in my profile that shows my shape that is up to date and if anyone is interested I let them know upfront and after a bit more chatting send them a full length photo.

Some guys do bow out after I tell them but I genuinely don't mind. There's no point getting to know someone under false pretenses. Most guys don't care though.

kerkyra Sun 04-Aug-19 22:37:17

Hi notmrscookie, I had a date last night with someone of 55, he was gorgeous! I'm 47. Just dip your feet in and hide your profile if it's all too much. For every 10 messages I send out,I may get two or three replies,sometimes less,so dont take anything to heart. Once I got 70 views and only three messages actually! Good luck

Lillyrose19 Sun 04-Aug-19 22:40:11

Sorry to hear @ant it agree with the others. And you know the way to get over someone.........😉

notmrscookie Sun 04-Aug-19 22:47:26

All my picture are up to date..All my info honest. I had enough last of the lies such as pictures from 10 years ago , ages, jobs ..I have spent time investing in me and am happy with myself .. Why is that so hard..

Theworldcouldbemymollusc Sun 04-Aug-19 22:52:21

So I drank wine with a friend last night who took my photo and helped me set up a profile on the app she used a few years ago. God there were some seriously crap photos of men on there. I didn't know what I was doing and winked and someone who winked back. Said no to the vast majority and maybe to a handful and yes to two. Then saw my account thing said I had said I wanted to meet 20 men. It was quite terrifying so I deleted my profile!! But it was my first dalliance. And a couple of men looked like they had potential. I also got a few messages in the hour my profile was live but apparently couldn't read them unless I paid £30 per month .As you can tell I have no clue what I'm doing!!

kermitrulesok Sun 04-Aug-19 22:52:25

Ooooh shiny new thread! MrT just left after another lovely evening...oh I luffs him so very much. @Ant330 so very sorry about you and MissH...although sad it's good that you know your boundaries and are sticking to them. She's lost a good 'un in you but I firmly believe things happen for a reason and the future Mrs Ant is waiting for you to find her.

Welcome newbies...and hello everyone else!

putastrawunderbaby Mon 05-Aug-19 00:21:24

@Ant330 I think you've done the right thing - perhaps it just wasn't the right time. But it's hard on you.

Thank you for offering to critique my profile. I've PMed you.

Ginmel Mon 05-Aug-19 07:24:29

@notmrscookie some people have asked others on here PM to give a bit of feedback on their profiles. It may help?

Coffeeandchocolate9 Mon 05-Aug-19 08:33:43

Thanks for the shiney new thread!

@Neverexpected2 that sounds like a most excellent date! Hope date 2 happens in a week, then!

@Theworldcouldbemymollusc which site was that?

@notmrscookie I'm properly plus sized (voluptuous as a lovely shop assistant once called me and I've used in my profile)... still managed dates with men who didn't give a damn or who actively like my size. It's a cliche but it really does help if you can get to a place where you're happy in your own skin, ive found men find that far more attractive than as dress size!

@ant330 big hugs, snot rags (clean) and large whiskey from me. Well done for doing the right thing by you.

I'm just having a coffee on my way back from a sleepover with 5in1 grin

shitwithsugaron Mon 05-Aug-19 10:42:11

Placemarking! I'm a chubby sod, never had any issues getting dates blush

Alanis41 Mon 05-Aug-19 14:24:03


Marlboroandmalbec34 Mon 05-Aug-19 14:37:26

phew found you all.

never sounds like a great date- fingers crossed

So talking to my last iron Mr Luigi who asked which gig I saw at the weekend and he told me he has never been to a gig! EVER. he is 41. Its his dream to go to a gig or concert. I asked why and he said he married young, had his kids and his ex wife was very controlling. This is setting off alarm bells for me. Am I being silly?

AverageGuy Mon 05-Aug-19 15:08:56

Found you! Was Mumsnet acting oddly for anyone else today?

PutaStawberry also happy to give you an unbiased opinion, if you want to pm me as well.

I may have an iron! I'll call her Miss Hants. Been chatting on POF, and suggested meeting, but she wants to do the phone interview thing, and having failed miserably with Miss Small, I'm terrified...

I'm planning to go to a local Salsa Class (Thanks Cassettes!), but currently have both ears blocked with wax (sexy, no?), so feel it's probably better to wait until I can hear properly...

SortingItOut Mon 05-Aug-19 15:11:01

Up until recently I had never been to a gig or concert, many reasons including money, logistics, childcare- all sorts really.

No alarm bells and I'd see it as an opportunity to share these things with him.

I'm 38 by the way.

AverageGuy Mon 05-Aug-19 15:27:39

Also flowers to Ant. it's shit what's happened. Allow me to offer you a man hug...

Coffeeandchocolate9 Mon 05-Aug-19 15:37:10

Its not setting off alarm bells for me marlborough, (I've been to maybe 6 in my life and could have very easily been to none had I not had my friendship group at uni) but I'd keep the reference to controlling wife in my pocket and see what happens...

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