My friend is dying of cancer and their partner maybe on a dating site

[Danpitt]

Being a single man I use dating apps like Tinder and I came across a profile which I think is my friends wife.

1. The name is the same
   2)The age is the same
   
2. location is the same
   
3. mentions she's a BBW, my friends wife is a big girl
   
4. profile mentions she's married but complicated
   
5. her interests are exactly the same.
   There's no photos on her profile just memes, the same memes she has as her social media photos.
   
   Now my friend has a matter of weeks, months at best. Do I tell him what I found, what may or may not be his wife or do I leave it so he has a happy memory to take with him when he dies?

[Isadora2007]

Don’t get involved. Just don’t. Don’t add pain to your dying friend. Please.

[PurpleDaisies]

I’m not sure what’s to be gained by wading in here.

[2cats2many]

Leave well alone.

[Stressedoutaboutinlaws]

Yeah stay out of it. For all you know it might be something he knows about.

[BillyJowel]

I’d absolutely mention it... to HER.

[BarryBarryTaylor]

No I wouldn’t say anything to anyone about this. He is dying he doesn’t need to know

[MashedSpud]

Leave it.

If it’s not her you’ve ruined their last weeks together.
If it is her he’ll be heartbroken.

[ChairPoseKills]

I certainly wouldn't tell your friend - he's got more than enough pain and worry to contend with already

[GrapefruitIsGross]

Normally I'm in the Tell Them Camp when it comes to information about an affair, but in this situation it's very likely just to completely mar your mate's last couple of months for no one's benefit.

You also can't rule out that your mate knows she's on there given the circumstances.

[Duchessofealing]

He might know and have consented to it. It is not your relationship - back off and leave alone you will only cause harm.

[SuzieQ10]

Leave well alone. You don't know what they have agreed privately as a couple. Either way, you won't come across as the 'good guy' by bringing this up under the circumstances.

[nespressowoo]

I would keep out of it. I'm sorry to hear about your friend

[KatieKirk]

I’d usually be all for telling them, but I wouldn’t tell them in this situation. I’m sorry to hear about your friend, I understand how difficult this situation must be.

[ThatCurlyGirl]

I'm so sorry about your friend. Please don't make the last weeks or months of his life any more painful than they already are.

No good can come from him knowing at this stage - ignorance is bliss and bliss is what he needs right now

[EmperorBallpitine]

She is probably thinking about her future, and what that will be like, and its her way of coping. Grief messes you up. I am not saying that if it is her, then it's a good thing to do, it's not. But, who are you to judge? She is facing a terrifying couple of months, just like your friend her partner is. Stay out of it. You can do no good to anyone by talking about it with him or her.

[Ohyesiam]

He’s dying, and her husband is dying. There’s nothing to be gained.

It could be something they agreed together. I used to be a Macmillan nurse, people do what they need to do.

[Mummyshark2018]

Stay out of it. None of your business. Why would you want to inflict potential heartache on your friend. Even if it is his wife, this could be an extreme reaction to stress and grief.

[RonnieScotts]

Absolutely no point telling him.

You cannot understand her grief, she may feel terrified of being alone and this is just a knee jerk reaction to see if she can survive without him one day.

[Lozzerbmc]

How sad but no one will benefit from saying anything just more pain caused

[Loveisland19]

At least she says she is married - maybe she just wants to talk to strangers and reassure herself that she doesnt have to be alone forever when your friend passes on. Grief affects people in so many different ways.
I wouldn't mention it to him, but if it's really eating you up then ask her about it - maybe message her on the app?

[Otterhound]

I know you want to look out for your mate but it wont help, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

I would only get involved, by contacting her, if there were children living at home as her dating would be somewhat crap for them

[kateandme]

there could b so many explanations for this.or there could be none.it might not be right,or it might be for them/her.
but even if she is totally in the wrong.he will die devastated and it will destroy a little bit more of the little life he has left.so on this occassion im very much for PLEASE DO NOT TELL HIM camp.
let the man go knowing or thinking he has someone who he loves and loves him.let him go peacefully.

[Windmillwhirl]

Absolutely stay out of it. Can't believe you'd even contemplate it tbh.

[stucknoue]

Leave alone, your friend may even have helped her make a profile, Ive heard of other terminally ill people doing this

[shiningstar2]

I agree with everything pp's have said. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by telling him and potentially a great deal of hurt. Why would you? It could be her. It may not be. Don't judge. Don't go there.