I am 50, happily married 23 years, three lovely teenage children.
When I was 13 my mum died of cancer. I had no counseling or support of any kind from anyone. Before her death my parents marriage had gone downhill as it turned out my dad was bipolar (than called manic depression). He was verbally abusive to her and very self-involved, gave her no emotional support of any kind while she was dealing with cancer. When she died I was terrified of him and hated his guts from seeing how he treated her.
He was very neglectful of me and my younger brother. Often ignored me for days. At 16 he locked me out of the house and I was taken into care. After time with a foster family, my social worker arranged for me to live independently in what were local student halls (I was hopeless at living in a family at this time because I had had to be so independent). My dad died of a heart attack when I was 19.
I am now 50 recovering from cancer. Although I got a Uni degree I never had a career after having kids and we moved around the world for DHs work. I feel lost. I feel disappointed in myself for not figuring out how to have a career, I also think I was avoidant to a certain extent, I probably could have made it happen but I was always overwhelmed by my lack of family, no emotional support and having to figure out everything in life alone, like having kids and being a good mum and keeping my marriage going etc.
I also feel my issues have been visited on my kids as without meaning to I feel I have prevented them from meeting their potential.
I just don’t really know what I’m trying to say or do. What do I do?
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The long term impact of losing my parents as a teen
72 replies
IdaBWells · 14/07/2019 19:39
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