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What a bloody mess

(18 Posts)
madcatladyforever Fri 12-Jul-19 16:00:29

I don't know what I want to achieve with this thread really. I think I just need to tell someone and rage at men in general for being such pathetic, faithless bastards who are happy to drag everyone down with them.
Was a single parent for 17 years bringing up my son all alone, had days when I just wanted to die with exhaustion and lonliness but he's a lovely man now and I adore him. I can always call him when I need to and vice versa.
I bust a gut to buy my own home working all hours for years and was finally comfortable after scraping by for many years.
Met my now ex husband and he was the love of my life, I was so happy not to be alone any more, at 40 I was finally married and settled and happy. I'd brought up DS well and he'd left home, I had him very young.
A really good life beckoned.
Without going on to infinity, or drip feeding the next 15 years were awful, he spent all my money, I paid off all his debts on my mortgage, I put up with his latex fetish, endless losing of jobs and letting me down and finally when I became really ill he dumped me with no money and no car. We're divorced now, his divorce petition was really cruel and all lies.
Result, I'm partially disabled, lost my job, having to sell my house, all my hopes and dreams of a comfortable future destroyed.
I feel so devastated that if I could afford a rope I'd hang myself.
Its been three years since the divorce and he's completely ghosted me.
I tried so hard for the last three years to keep all of the balls in the air but it's all come to a head and I simply can't afford to live here any more.
My beautiful dream home i'd hoped to grow old in in a lovely area will be gone soon, I've got 4 jobs, work 6 days a week and i'm in constant pain.
If I'd stayed single I'd have been taking early retirement by now enjoying my lovely home that would have been paid for by now.
It was insidious, it happened gradually over years so I didn't see it coming and suddenly dumping me made it all fall apart.
I'm never having another man in my life again, never. I don't trust them, I look awful from the stress and my life has been ruined, all because I dared to love somebody.
How dare he treat me like this. I hope he gets mangled by a bus.
Thank you for listening.

onalongsabbatical Fri 12-Jul-19 16:12:38

God I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Handhold and a hug. I’m lying in bed exhausted so I’m finding it hard to muster anything but I totally couldn’t scroll past madcatladyforever and I know your name from other threads.
Where's your son? flowers

womaninthedark Fri 12-Jul-19 16:16:08

I am very sorry.
Don't go for the rope. Get rl help for that idea - it's not a good one to have.

2018SoFarSoGreat Fri 12-Jul-19 16:19:38

so, so sorry to read this. What a bastard.

You sound strong. You must have such strength in you. You can do this. Please reach out for some help IRL. flowers

msmith501 Fri 12-Jul-19 16:51:34

Sounds like shit to be honest. Just a small thing that worries me - I know plenty of women who have acted just as badly or worse. It's not a man thing - it's a human condition.

PicsInRed Fri 12-Jul-19 19:17:50

How dare he treat me like this. I hope he gets mangled by a bus.

Yeah, that's probably fair. flowers

Just a small thing that worries me - I know plenty of women who have acted just as badly or worse. It's not a man thing - it's a human condition.

Do you really think this is the best moment for a Public Service NAMALT and SWALT?

toffeeapple123 Fri 12-Jul-19 19:51:44

Be thankful - at least the parasite is no longer in your life. That's the main thing.

Have you tried any therapy? It really helps to process things/feelings.

Remember, you have your wonderful son and the rest of your life to look forward to. Once you are over the grief and anger, I hope you will enjoy much of it - you have achieved so much flowers

SusieOwl4 Fri 12-Jul-19 19:57:37

will you have any equity from the house ? could you afford shared ownership ? I agree life is just not fair sometimes but you have been strong in the past , hopefully you can draw on this .

toffeeapple123 Fri 12-Jul-19 20:03:43

PicsInRed Laughed out loud grin

ScreamingLadySutch Fri 12-Jul-19 20:14:19

We need to educate women on predators. You got targeted OP

mbosnz Fri 12-Jul-19 20:16:17

That's shit. Complete and utter shit.

You didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve you.

I wish I could wave a magic wand, or win the lottery. Or better yet, you could win the lottery.

Doesitevenmatternow Fri 12-Jul-19 23:13:13

I'm so sorry op. Things will get better. Hang in there.

Rubbinghimsweetly2 Sat 13-Jul-19 00:01:17

My ex husband moved to a different country and I'm about half a million in debt.


75Renarde Sat 13-Jul-19 01:14:23

Desperately sorry OP.

I'm in your position as well.

Here's the thing though. You're alive. You have your son. You will recover.

Best part is you are one strong tough fucking lady. It's fucking shit when you have your finances devestated through no fault of your own.

It's criminal.

Best of British x

pnutter Sat 13-Jul-19 01:19:35

You are not alone. It is shit though so (hugs)

Brenna24 Sat 13-Jul-19 01:26:20

That's awful. One of my friends either declared bankruptcy or took one of the voluntary equivalents (I forget which) and they did not count her mortgage into it as that would take the roof from over her head. Can you get advice and try and do something like this. It allowed her to keep her home and she got back on her feet again.

tinyvulture Sat 13-Jul-19 08:07:25

He sounds like a total cunt! I’m so sorry.

Do you think it might be worth booking an appointment to see your GP? You are under such tremendous pressure that it would be unlikely if you were NOT a little depressed, and they may be able to help you with that. My GP saved my life!

BillytheMountain Sun 14-Jul-19 14:23:09

Sorry to read this, it's heartbreaking. Don't do anything daft. Is your son nearby, can you be with some friends irl? You are incredibly strong woman MadCatLadyforever, you will get through this flowers

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