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(322 Posts)
Michellepebbles86 Fri 12-Jul-19 09:39:29

Ok, so I need help! I have no friends to talk to about this and it’s driving me crazy.

I suspect my fiance of 4 years is cheating on me. Again. We live together and have done for 3 years.

All the signs are there. I just can’t prove a thing and even if I did he would deny it. 2 years ago 2 desperate women found me on Facebook to tell me they were messaging and had slept with him. He denied both and still does to this day. I forgave him and moved on. Idiot I know!!! All was well until about 6 month ago.....

He keeps his phone on him constantly. Even if he wants to show me something on it he will screenshot it and message it me. He leaves the room to talk on it. It’s always on silent. Not enough to warrant a worry I know but here’s the rest..... when I ask to spend time together he’s always too busy. Too tired. But can go on his xbox all the time. Can make time to go meet his friends. He’s also stopped making any kind of effort with me not just with sex but cuddles, hugs, etc.

I was casually on BT site querying a bill and his mobile is on it. So I thought I’d check why the bill was so high in case he was ordering stuff. There’s a number that he’s ringing every day on his way home from work, on his way to work and throughout the day. It’s also being texted at times when I’m either still asleep in the morning or have gone to bed at night. Alarm bells right!?? Am I being paranoid? I haven’t spoken to him for three days because I don’t know how to feel. If I say something, he will deny it point blank. Also he has a knack of turning things around on me whenever I say I’m unhappy with something. So I just don’t. I can’t afford to leave him or kick him out right now. I feel so trapped with all this info, these feelings and what to do!!!

ilovepinkgin33 Sun 14-Jul-19 13:57:56

You are doing amazingOP I'm in actual awe of you....hope you and the people who matter have a lovely Sunday, if I were you I'd ask what time he's planning to be picking his shit up then leave it on the doorstep, you don't need to entertain him bollocks anymore

Michellepebbles86 Sun 14-Jul-19 14:36:41

It’s all gone thankfully. I’ve already moved all my stuff into his wardrobe and changed the bedroom to suit me. There’s not even a single picture now and nothing to say he ever lived here. I’m putting my feet up soon and browsing online for all my new things to put in the house when ive the pennies again. I actually feel really positive about this.

Franwith2and1 Sun 14-Jul-19 18:06:51

I just wanted to say I think you’ve done amazingly well and sending you a massive

Michellepebbles86 Sun 14-Jul-19 18:08:42

Thankyou so much. I’ve just poured a Prosecco and I’m enjoying my first proper night to myself. Cheers everyone! Think I can close this feed now can’t I ☺️ There’s going to be down times ahead but I’ve got through the worst and the support I’ve received has been amazing. Thankyou all!!! Now going to work out how to do that 😂😂

Michellepebbles86 Sun 14-Jul-19 18:09:22

Yeah I don’t know how to do that if it’s possible. Never mind!

CaMePlaitPas Sun 14-Jul-19 18:44:23

OP, I rtft, I think you are amazing. You'll be alright.

usersouthcoast Sun 14-Jul-19 19:07:35

Top effort this weekend Miss!!
Ps your table display is lovely!! Enjoy the bubbles... cheers to the first day of the rest of your life xx

Michellepebbles86 Sun 14-Jul-19 19:09:37

Thankyou so much. I love my grey living room and I’m going to add blush pink now 😍😍 cheers xx

Paddy1234 Sun 14-Jul-19 21:29:39

You are simply incredible ❤️

letsdolunch321 Sun 14-Jul-19 21:39:28

All your Mn pals will be here if you need support agAin.

Well done 💐🥂

Michellepebbles86 Sun 14-Jul-19 23:06:37

I got a bit tipsy off the Prosecco tonight 😂🙈 managed to book myself in for the start of a Harry Potter sleeve that I’ve been after for years (but he doesn’t like tats even though I’m covered already) and looking into another piercing. The wine has been put down and I’m going to eat a sandwich. I’m actually watching love Island, in the living room, at night!! This was never allowed!!! Feeling very content right now ❤️

WhoKnewBeefStew Mon 15-Jul-19 09:13:54

Well done OP flowers hope there’s not too much of the wine flu going round this morning

Michellepebbles86 Mon 15-Jul-19 09:28:21

Not at all smile On the ball this morning trying to claim universal credit till I start in September. Yay 😓😓😓 hope I can get something to help!!

hellsbellsmelons Mon 15-Jul-19 09:51:58

I’m actually watching love Island, in the living room, at night!! This was never allowed!!!
In YOUR home!
Fuck that.
You are well rid of the twat.
You are gonna have some serious down days so just reach out here and we can help you through it.
You are a true inspiration to other women and to your DC.
Well done OP.
Big hugs to you and your lovely dad!

Michellepebbles86 Mon 15-Jul-19 10:11:29

Apparently I won’t receive any payment until the 21st August. Currently going through my clothes and selling what I can around the house too. The tattoo was going to be bought with money from selling some stuff as I thought I’d be ok but obviously I need to now get through just paying rent and the like. It was nice for a moment to think about it though 😂😂 Ahhhh bugger.....I’m proper up shit creek now without a paddle. Because I can’t afford one. I’m actually still getting crap off him via email aswell about not selling his stuff. The stuff I paid for and now need to get rid of to pay our bills that he has left me with. Can see me crying today. I’ve even forgot to take my daughters dance dress into school this morning so I’ve let her down for something she was meant to be doing at 10am 😭😭😭 trying so much to get this sorted but I keep messing up

daledoback Mon 15-Jul-19 10:23:05

You can apply for an advanced payment at your first universal credit appointment.

Michellepebbles86 Mon 15-Jul-19 10:28:49

Brilliant Thankyou I didn’t know that. I just need to try and make sure we don’t lose this house.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 15-Jul-19 11:21:36

You have not messed up anything or let your DD down.
Your life has been turned upside down.
It will take time to get back on track.
Stop beating yourself up.
Cry if you want to.
Get angry and rant.
You have every right to do just that.
And block him!!!
Block him on everything.
Ignore his email.
He fucked up.
If you want to sell stuff that you bought then you go ahead and do it - guilt free.
You owe him nothing.
Keep going OP.
You got this!

matahairyy Mon 15-Jul-19 18:25:22

How are you paying for the tattoo if you’re broke?

Michellepebbles86 Mon 15-Jul-19 19:06:13

Wow. There’s always one 🙄 if you look above you will see why I thought and could and then realised it wouldn’t be possible.

MyGastIsFlabbered Wed 17-Jul-19 17:34:14

OP there IS always one! Rise above it, enjoy your tattoo and your life without a cheating scumbag. Kids are surprisingly resilient and will probably deal with this better than you!

usersouthcoast Thu 18-Jul-19 21:43:11

How are you doing OP?

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