I’m in a relationship with a great guy and enjoying our set-up of having separate houses about an hour apart. It gives each of us the time and space to parent our kids (both in sync in our respective 50/50 shared care arrangements), to do our own thing, and to actually miss each other! Then when we’re together it’s lovely as we can focus on each other without too much domesticana getting in the way.
The downsides are that two houses are more expensive than one, the travel involved (though the distances aren’t huge), and a slight guilt at taking up space against the backdrop of a national housing crisis.
We see each other every few days and are in pretty much constant contact around work and parenting when we’re apart. Our kids are still quite young – youngest are 5 and 6. We have no immediate desire to move in together and especially not to disrupt our kids’ education or proximity to their other parent. When kids are adults we might reconsider. We haven’t intro’d the kids yet, nor see any immediate need to (we’re only 6 months in).
So my question is, how sustainable is this in the long term? Has anyone maintained a serious, committed relationship in separate towns over a sustained period?
Incidentally, there was nice piece in the Guardian recently by Grace Dent about Living Apart Together: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jun/22/gwyneth-paltrow-happier-living-apart-from-partner-grace-dent
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Living apart in a long-term relationship
19 replies
cloudbusting42 · 11/07/2019 22:27
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