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Page 40 | Brave babes are still here: sping / summer / autumn / winter There is always someone around

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venusandmars Thu 27-Jun-19 20:54:32

This topic had being going for years and years and years. Maybe almost as long as some people have been struggling with drinking.

We are still here. Supporting, encouraging, helping. Never judging, never minimising our problems.

If you want to catch up, our last thread is HERE

And if you want to follow everything from the start, the very first thread from 9 years ago is RIGHT HERE

You can join in anytime. Everyone is welcome. Whether you are trying to cut down, abstain completely , or are simply acknowledging that you might have a problem... Post what you want.

OP’s posts: |
Therainisback Sun 03-Jan-21 10:48:49

Feel good but tired, thanks Small. Took ages to get to sleep then all my dreams were about me smoking (I stopped nearly 4 years ago)
We've got Bavaria (Morrisons) but I prefer Becks Blue. It's weird how it helps, given that I never touch beer with alcohol in confused.
How are you getting on?

SmallFox Sun 03-Jan-21 11:07:46

Yup, wine in a mug tinyem. Sometimes a travel mug, that’s a good one. Seems inconceivable when I look at it now, but easy to imagine it happening again without constant safeguarding of sobriety.

Hmm, sober dreams, therain. I slightly love the bonkers intensity of them, though they can be scary, can’t they. And I am always in awe of how my subconscious works to process stuff when I haven’t flooded it with alcohol. I’m with you on the beer - I never drink it with alcohol in either, but it definitely works for me as an AF ‘ritual’ drink.

venusandmars Sun 03-Jan-21 18:04:54

Sober dreams... a couple of nights ago I dreamt that I was taking part in a camping competition (whatever the hell that might be!). My camping companion was my male, gay cleaner.

Despite being fastidious in real life (useful in a cleaner), he was completely cool with copious mud and shared toilets. Meanwhile, I was trying to get undressed inside a very small sleeping bag.

I don't know whether to laugh or seek the help of a psychoanalyst grin confused grin confused.

OP’s posts: |
venusandmars Sun 03-Jan-21 18:07:34

Oh the wine in a mug... blush With a peppermint and fennel teabag if it was white wine, and a cherry and cinnamon teabag if it was red wine. because everybody would be fooled into thinking that the strange winey smell was all down to the peculiar herbal tea

OP’s posts: |
Margie32 Sun 03-Jan-21 18:18:25

How has your day been tinyem? Hope you got through it ok?

I am a big fan of the Heineken 0,0.

smallfox, I love that phrase, “the safeguarding of sobriety. Have any of you read Shuggie Bain? It’s not an easy read but surely one of the greatest books about alcohol addiction ever written. It moved me so much and I will carry Agnes (the alcoholic mother) around with me forever, as a reminder to not get complacent or take sobriety for granted.

tinyem77 Sun 03-Jan-21 18:51:07

My day went better than I thought @Margie32, had a run, did the ironing, annoyed the kids. It's been a long time since I've been sober at this time of day on a Sunday, weekends became an excuse to drink to excess as no work.

I hope everyone else has survived the weekend, day 5 for me. It's a long road, but it will be worth it

Therainisback Sun 03-Jan-21 20:47:50

Well done Tinyem another day notched up.
I've kept busy & am now sitting with another 0% beer. Back to work tomorrow which I'm dreading. I used to love my job, but this past year less so.
Ah well, onwards & upwards Babes.

louiseaaa Mon 04-Jan-21 18:21:56

well you don't have to be drunk on NYE to have a spectacular NYD argument <ahem> In my defense I was very very tired having worked 12 hour shifts for three days for a national supermarket delivering a tonne of booze for those (non) parties.

Anyway I digress, forgive me for not namechecking everyone.

I just thought the starter/stoppers might like to know that it took me 14 years to actually stop drinking from my first proper attempt. The ony thing I can say in my defense is that I never stopped giving up, and you can too x

3 years to date, one day at a time my lovlies.

beachestoexplore Mon 04-Jan-21 22:52:19

Thanks for saying that louiseaaa it gives me hope that I am not a lost cause or at least not for certain grin. Sorry your year began with a row, I am pretty sure after three 12 hour shifts a saint would feel snakey.

I am 4 nights wine free and doing ok. I don’t really go for substitute drinks, just a cup of tea. (No Venus, not ‘herbal’ tea! I was equally impressed and horrified at your tea’s)

Margie, sorry I called you Magie upthread, I know you are Margie grin

To my fellow dry January’ers. Know that you liver is enjoying a break! We are on our way. X

spanna41 Tue 05-Jan-21 06:23:34

Morning All

Crack of a sparrow’s fart wake up for me AGAIN!!! My dreams are so full of details & so negative at the moment. Last nights announcement has not helped it’s taken me further away from getting back to work with my oldies - I can’t bear it 😭
My Sober Coach stuff is giving me some ‘purpose’ which is a bonus. Going ‘live’ on FB every morning is motivating although seems like a huge commitment. Thank you everyone for your kind & supportive about me Sober Coaching means the world it really does 😊

Right enough moaning - I’ve been reading but having a block about posting for some reason <rolls eyes into the back of my head>

Tiny keep going you’re doing brilliantly 🏆 you’ll be getting the ‘Boing’ soon & your energy levels will soar!! It’s quite the roll reversal when we get on our children’s nerves - keep it up, keeps them on their toes 😂 Keep going today. Stay hydrated & eat lovely things. Distract Distract Distract xxxx

Beaches you’re acing this 🏆 I know you’re White knuckle riding a bit. I can’t do AF lager or wine either - I just feel the frustration of not getting any effect from it & end up just needing a wee all the time 🤣 Builders Tea for me always. What are you reading? I can’t seem to settle with any book at the moment. I read The Rumour by Lesley Kara recently it’s a bit of a who done it & easy to read. Keep going lovely one flowers

louise totally understandable to feel completely knackered after working all those shifts. I hope you’re getting some down time to relax this week. Congratulations on your 3 years - that’s a massive achievement xx

Venus I’m with you on the dreams!! Oh my I’m not sure what my subconscious is up to. I also feel I may need therapy grin I’ve got far too much time on my hands & I’m overthinking everything little thing. It’s so tiring!

Margie my favourite lager is AF San Miguel If I had to choose one. Thank you for keeping up with my FB lives - your support & encouragement is greatly appreciated x

Fox it doesn’t matter what time you have your AF lager. Whatever works for you that’s what I say! It’s getting into that AF routine what with all these continuing changes with schools, lockdowns etc it’s enough to send us all back to the bottle. You have steely determination which I’ve previously witnessed- just keep going my friend - you’ve got this flowers

Have a good day everyone! Remember to be kind to yourselves. Give yourselves that pat on the back. If you haven’t watched Bridgerton on Netflix yet I can highly recommend ogling at the Duke of Hastings- he is divine blush I flawed it in one day!!!

Therainisback Tue 05-Jan-21 21:17:37

Had a nap after work today, so tired even though I had a really good night's sleep. Day 5 done.
Spanna enjoying your blog, am off to read today's.

beachestoexplore Tue 05-Jan-21 21:24:16

Did you type all that on your phone Spanna? shock you are hardcore!

I have bought a book but that is as far as it has got so far. It is a Marian Keyes new one - I have good memories of Rachel’s holiday etc so I made a comfort choice. I am really out of the reading habit, if I get my mojo back I will try the one you recommended.

My heart goes out to you all, things seem really bleak right now as I watch from overseas. My family are all in the UK so I am very invested in everything that happens. Be kind to yourselves xx

venusandmars Tue 05-Jan-21 22:18:07

I have enrolled in a dance programme which uses the body and movement as a way of addressing, understanding and confronting addiction.

It feels liberating and exciting.

All I'd say is try anything, ANYTHING that you think might help deal with the underlying emotions and patterns.

OP’s posts: |
MintToBee Wed 06-Jan-21 08:03:07

Morning! Just checking and will go back and read the thread properly in a bit.
Well thats the "holidays" over and done.
I've put on half a stone. I blame the Stollen.
So now to try and shift it all. I really have no motivation right now. Its freezing here. I'm just so tired of everything. Work, Covid, Work...
January blues for sure.

spanna41 Wed 06-Jan-21 18:39:25

Hugs Mint

Yes Beaches I am hardcore don’t ya know! How are you Chick? Watermelon was one of my faves by Marion Keyes. Thank you for the reminder I’d forgotten she’s got a new one out. I’ve been rubbish at reading too. The Rumour is a first in nearly 2 years blush How are you?

therain so pleased you’re enjoying the blog smile how’s Day 6 going?

Venus I’m loving the sound of the dance movement is it online? Sounds relaxing & therapeutic 😊

Sending love to everyone xxx

Therainisback Wed 06-Jan-21 20:09:31

Just having a 0% beer. Had work in the morning, child-minding grandchildren this afternoon (Daughter & son-in-law both still working full time). Very hyper & excited children & by the time they went home I was pleading for special dispensation due to extreme duress!
Still feeling stressed & wound-up but the worst had passed & I'll make it through this evening now.

Therainisback Wed 06-Jan-21 20:11:03

Sorry, should have added thanks for asking Spanna smile

beachestoexplore Wed 06-Jan-21 22:10:36

Well done Theran, a bullet dodged for today smile

I am doing good thanks Spanna no boing yet, in fact I could have gone to sleep at my desk at work today. I am aware of an internal dialogue about Friday night, I would have done a full week back at work and a week sober.....I need to beware of sabotaging myself at the first opportunity blush. How about you? I watched one of your live broadcasts and thought you came across beautifully - calm, real, kind and reassuring. Really well done to you. I bet you oldies are missing you too.

Mint January blues is well described. It is a struggle to find the silver linings with everything going on. Xx

tinyem77 Thu 07-Jan-21 08:03:42

Good morning all, day 9, and had the dreaded drinking dream last night. It was bloody awful. I mean, I should have known it was a dream because I was driving a double decker bus and there was a pig on the bus for some reason, but I digress... The disappointment I felt in myself in my dream was huge, and was happy to wake up sober.

On the whole I'm not missing the booze yet, but I know from my previous attempts at giving up that it'll be a month down the line when the road gets bumpy and the wagon will get shaky and I'll be clinging on for life so I don't fall off. This time I'm ready for it, and I won't give in.

How is everyone else today??

venusandmars Thu 07-Jan-21 10:09:43

Well done to everyone for sticking at it - despite wild dreams or wild grandchildren!

Spanna the dance movement is on-line, run by a friend who is a very talented therapist. So Tuesday evening saw me dancing alone in my living room in the style of the opening credits of 'Tales of the Unexpected' (for anyone old enough to remember). I had to close the curtains to prevent the neighbours calling for me to be carted away!

But it is already giving me insights into my behaviour. I hadn't realised how much of my drinking is a rebellion - against my parents, against being the 'good girl', against societal expectations... Fascinating stuff.

ma hope you're doing OK flowers

OP’s posts: |
SmallFox Thu 07-Jan-21 20:40:45

Venus that sounds amazing - so brilliant. I hope you continue to love it, both for itself and for what it may help you uncover.

Tiny - love your dream! And you’re so right, it is a month or so in that the complacency tends to kick in for me.

I’m doing ok, bit bored but I’m trying just to be present and live with it rather than try to fill the boredom with stuff for the sake of it. I feel very insular and self-protective - can’t even begin to engage with the enormity of what’s going on in the US right now.

I read loads and it is lovely to be able to remember what I read the night before! I wanted some light and diverting fiction and am reading Richard Osman’s book which I thought would be annoying but is actually very funny and quite tender. Can’t remember if someone recommended it here - thanks if so (Margie - thanks for the reminder re Shuggie Bain too - it needs to make it higher up my ‘read next’ pile, keep putting it off as it looks rewarding but difficult and I don’t need difficulty right now! But I’ll give it a go).

Beaches - you deserve your bounce very soon!

Curling up now with the kids and our books, around our nice new fireplace. Could be worse. Hang in there, babes.

spanna41 Fri 08-Jan-21 08:35:50

Morning All

On the subject of funky dreams....Wednesday night I dreamt I was asked to do a Facebook Live based in a glass house (similar to the ones in Kew Gardens full of tropical plants) I arrived just before 8am & started filming my live. Next thing I know this man dressed as a gorilla came & sat right beside me! I ignored the gorilla as I was filming! Started to feel uncomfortable so moved benches (still filming) Gorilla came & sat next to me again just staring at me. I kept on filming. This happened 4 times before I woke up in a hot sweat grin wtf!!!!

venus that all sounds very inspiring & inspirational.

fox the boredom is really hard & time seems to go so slowly especially in the evenings! I’ve got visions of you all snuggly round your fire sounds cozy x

Tiny congratulations on your day 9 flowers it’s such a relief to wake up & realise it a dream isn’t it? Be kind to yourself & keep going x

Beaches sending you virtual hugs 🤗 get your Friday night planned out my friend. Get in some loveliness to eat & drink xxxx

Have a good day everyone xxx

Therainisback Sat 09-Jan-21 08:23:39

Day 9 - longest stretch now since last January.
Hope everyone is doing ok, whether dry or not.

dementedma Sat 09-Jan-21 19:44:20

Is the thread full? Week. Where is the new one? I missed it!

* Message from MNHQ: Psst. Here's a link to the new thread - BRAVE BABES - the bus keeps trundling on... smile

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