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Husband cheating with prostitutes - again!!

(201 Posts)
Totallyheartbroken Tue 11-Jun-19 22:45:33

I’ve just discovered my husband of 28 years has been visiting ‘escorts’ again. I forgave him last time and really tried to keep our family together but he is obviously not as committed as I was. I’ve struggled every day for 10 years to accept his sordid secret but to find out he has done it again is beyond belief. I found out by using his google and his last search was an escort agency. I then checked his messages and read one asking him if he was ‘tired after last night’? Help.....what do I do?

Candyfloss70 Tue 11-Jun-19 22:48:01

You know what you need to do..so sorry

Shockers Tue 11-Jun-19 22:49:29

You deserve better.

jellybellydancer Tue 11-Jun-19 22:50:50

You leave and don’t waste anymore time with such a scumbag.

Closetbeanmuncher Tue 11-Jun-19 22:51:01

You have two choices really don't you...

1. Forgive him and wait for the next time

2. End it and find someone who can keep their cock out of prostitutes.

I know which one i'd choose

Outsomnia Tue 11-Jun-19 22:51:33

Just stay with him.

Or leave tomorrow.

You really know what you need to do. Best of luck love.

HollowTalk Tue 11-Jun-19 22:52:20

If she's asking whether he's tired after last night, is she a girlfriend? Would a prostitute bother sending a message like that?

MMmomDD Tue 11-Jun-19 22:53:02

So - after 10 years you haven’t managed to get back to a place where you are happy and there is trust. Since you feel the need to investigate his web use..:.
What are your options, really?

You can stay as is and now stop worrying and suspecting. It’s been confirmed. So - you can just accept it as is and make peace with it.

Or, you can leave.

There isn’t a choice where he changes or you un-know what you know. Sorry .

Totallyheartbroken Tue 11-Jun-19 22:53:18

I can’t uproot the children they need their mum. Shouldn’t it be him who leaves?

HarleyS Tue 11-Jun-19 22:54:15

Does he say why he does it?
What is missing for him ?

whymewhyme Tue 11-Jun-19 22:54:34

End it, you deserve more! Kick him out!!

Totallyheartbroken Tue 11-Jun-19 22:54:42

I thought that too but he’s never out long enough to have a full blown relationship.

HarleyS Tue 11-Jun-19 22:55:49

What is your situation?
Do you work?
How old are your kids?

Totallyheartbroken Tue 11-Jun-19 22:56:08

Yes I can’t unknow what I know. So true.

Drogosnextwife Tue 11-Jun-19 22:56:58

Of course he should be the one yo leave. Get things sorted before you tell him you know though.

Zofloramummy Tue 11-Jun-19 22:57:22

I think people mean leave the relationship not the house. Are you working? Is your home rented or mortgages? I didn’t read your op as snooping just that you opened google and saw his last search and it went from there.

If you are still in a sexual relationship you are going to have to get tested. I’m sorry this has happened but I can’t see how you could forgive him again and still maintain any self respect.

Totallyheartbroken Tue 11-Jun-19 22:57:44

He denies everything then admits a little then screams and shouts and walks out. Comes home and expects me to carry on.

Totallyheartbroken Tue 11-Jun-19 22:58:35

I work full time and our children are 5 10 15.

mybeebop Tue 11-Jun-19 22:59:37

Get your ducks in a row. Go see a solicitor, get an STI check (as a priority if he’s sleeping with prostitutes!)

mybeebop Tue 11-Jun-19 23:00:28

Make him leave. Tell him to pack a bag and get out. He’s disgusting and you deserve better.

Closetbeanmuncher Tue 11-Jun-19 23:00:31

what is missing for him?.....

A moral compass, sense of decency and a conscience - that's what's missing.

Boot him out OP, he's taken your forgiveness as a green light to take the piss AGAIN.

mybeebop Tue 11-Jun-19 23:00:58

What is he screaming when he screams? He sounds unhinged!!

misslucienne Tue 11-Jun-19 23:01:22

Can you imagine another 10 years of this? It's time to put yourself and your family first. If he's not changed in 10 years he isn't going to change. I'm so sorry he's put you through this again. What an utter bastard.

Candyfloss70 Tue 11-Jun-19 23:02:17

He's a disgusting cunt. He should be the one to leave. If he doesn't, offer to tell his friends and family why it is over.

Totallyheartbroken Tue 11-Jun-19 23:02:42

House is mortgage and I earn enough to pay for it. Yes I wasn’t snooping he was with me when I used the search engine. It was the only thing on it because he usually deletes the history. I asked him what it was and he said one of his mates was looking at porn and I believed him at first. Later that day I looked at the website and it was an escort agency in the area he was working.

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