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Husband left after 12 years

(29 Posts)
Becky2190 Thu 30-May-19 21:40:08

Hi everyone I have joined for some advice , my husband today has told me he still loves me but feels there is somthing missing in our relationship. I no he is depressed and he has admitted he needs help. I am devastated hes never been much of a talker and ita like hes numb he doesnt no what he wants I have to young children 5 and 7.

Becky2190 Fri 07-Jun-19 11:21:47

In all cases do you think theres always another woman I really dont believe it

HRMumness Fri 07-Jun-19 11:53:34

My DH of 8 years, together for 12 came home and said he was unhappy, denied and denied there was an OW. A month down the line, lol and behold he admitted to the affair. I pick me danced for over a month. I wish I had just filed for divorce.

He is not your friend. Trust that he sucks because it sounds like he has put your through hell. Get your ducks in a row. Tell your family and friends so they can support you.

It will be hard but you can do this. flowers

hellsbellsmelons Fri 07-Jun-19 12:11:02

Not always OW.
But he is totally following 'the script'
Most people don't believe it.
I didn't believe my ExH would ever cheat.
I'd say the majority of men have someone else to go to when they separate from a long term relationship.
Not all though!

spritesobright Fri 07-Jun-19 16:19:00

He may come back to you but in the meantime you need to behave as though he won't and get on with your life. You will be building your confidence and resilience in this new reality.
I have friends whose husbands did ask to come back eventually but by that time the wife didn't want them back.
Part of the reason you want him back so desperately is fear for the future and part is love for the person he used to be. He's no longer that person.
Once you realise that you don't need him and the anger of what he's done sinks in you may find you don't want him back.

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