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Is he attracted to me?

(196 Posts)
TickTockClock4 Sat 25-May-19 17:24:31

Married male friend. He calls me for chats 30-90 minutes at a time. Never when he’s with his wife. He hasn’t crossed a line in telling me his feelings but we talk intimately about my relationship and invariably sex comes up in the conversation. Does he fancy me or is he just being a good friend?

We’re in our late thirties. We met after he got married.

Justathinslice Sat 25-May-19 17:27:37

You seriously don't think he's putting out feelers?

Samind Sat 25-May-19 17:28:29

Why would you want to know if he fancies you???

He's married.

Lessen the contact or start dropping in how's your wife questions etc.

ritchiebaby Sat 25-May-19 17:29:08

Sounds like he wants extras is his name " oliver "

MonkeyToesOfDoom Sat 25-May-19 17:29:44

If you were that guys wife, how happy would you be that he's doing this?

Do you want to be the other woman or do you just like being his wank fodder?

cookiechomper Sat 25-May-19 17:32:56

I think he is attracted, either that or he just gets off on chatting sexually to another woman who isn't his wife. Either one isn't good.
I think he has crossed a line, too. He shouldn't be talking about sex with you as he's married. It's inappropriate.

bigchris Sat 25-May-19 17:37:28

He wants at the very least an emotional affair

Block him before someone gets hurt, he's clearly bored

TickTockClock4 Sat 25-May-19 17:40:41

Is there any chance that he just feels sorry for me and is an ultra kind person/white knight?

Pipandmum Sat 25-May-19 17:42:45

A pity friend? Who wants that? He’s taken and if he’s testing things with you you don’t want to go there. Don’t give him any hope.

MonkeyToesOfDoom Sat 25-May-19 17:43:44

If he just felt sorry for you and wanted to be a friend, he'd call when his wife's around as he wouldn't feel the need to hide it.

Plus, not many male friends would want to talk about sex life in innocent conversation.

BlackToothpaste Sat 25-May-19 17:44:27

Why do you want to know this enough to ask a bunch of internet strangers, OP? That’s the question you should be asking yourself.

TanMateix Sat 25-May-19 17:45:58

I think he knows getting so close you You is inappropriate. I would say he is just massaging his ego by acting like the knight in the shiny armour.

He may be or get attracted to you if you are making him feel all protective and strong like a hero, but that doesn’t mean he is interested in anything permanent I’m afraid.

TanMateix Sat 25-May-19 17:47:14

... simply put, the fact you are talking openly about your relationship and sex, may put him off pursuing anything serious with you, he wouldn’t trust you not to discuss your relationship with him with other people.

TickTockClock4 Sat 25-May-19 17:48:19

He’s a very chatty person. Maybe he just enjoys my company but knows how it would look so keeps it quiet.

curtainpole12 Sat 25-May-19 17:51:14

Do you want him to fancy you? But you don't fancy him?
Do you want him to fancy you because you fancy him?
Do you not want him to fancy you?

come on OP! just say why your asking..

TickTockClock4 Sat 25-May-19 17:51:25

I should add that he always encourages me to work things out with my husband yet I do get a vibe from him. Is there any way he could fancy me yet encourage me to save my marriage? The situation is a bit weird.

TickTockClock4 Sat 25-May-19 17:52:32

I fancy him but have no idea how he feels about me. I don’t want an affair.

curtainpole12 Sat 25-May-19 17:53:59

If you don't want an affair then you stop your long conversations with him.

You either work it out with your husband or you don't.

What you don't do is to ask for validation on MN to continue what your doing.

Thingsdogetbetter Sat 25-May-19 17:54:44

How would it look? If you're just friends then surely that's what it would look like. Keeping it secret from his wife makes it look dodgy. You're sleepwalking into becoming the ow. .....actually ypu seem to be running into an affair. Intimate talks (I presume you mean talking about feelings) and 'invariably' sex talk. Why is sex talk invariable? I can talk to friends of the opposite sex without invariably talking about sex!!! It's not that difficult ffs!

Rocketgirl1 Sat 25-May-19 17:54:56

Why are you talking about your sex life with a married ‘friend’?

TickTockClock4 Sat 25-May-19 17:55:16

We’re just friends. I fancy him and suspect he just feels sorry for me. It’s one of those right person, wrong time cases.

curtainpole12 Sat 25-May-19 17:57:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TickTockClock4 Sat 25-May-19 17:57:26

He knows that I haven’t had sex for ages so he teases me about that. We don’t talk about anything to do with feelings about or the notion of sex with each other.

curtainpole12 Sat 25-May-19 17:58:25

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thingsdogetbetter Sat 25-May-19 17:58:42

X post. You're vulnerable at the moment and he's got you hooked on the understanding, supportive friend tactic. While pulling you in with intimate chats and phone sex. Looks like you're already having an affair - it just hasn't been physically consummate YET.

The let's meet for a drink - in or near a hotel - is coming soon! You're being very naive!

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