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boyfriend obsessed with texting dirty to other women

(159 Posts)
Kyra1 Tue 21-May-19 09:48:27

Ive been with my boyfriend for just over a year now, i have never felt insecure in any of my past relationships but i always felt anxious with him for some reason (i think because he is so chatty and such a likeable person). But i caught him taking my name out of his relationship status on facebook and so i started questioning a whole lot more.. turns out he had messaged a few women on instagram direct sexually.. i raised it with him and was absolutely broken and he begged and begged for me back.. i had never seen such a broken man before, he was on his knees pleading for me to forgive him. I forgave him. He was making all the right changes and i thought things were going well.. but 2 weeks later a lady on facebook messaged me saying my boyfriend was messaging her on tinder sexually talking about her playing with herself and him also. He asked for her snapchat and he sent pictures of his downstairs region.
I had lost the plot at this point.. i raised it with him and he denied all the way, then finally after i told him i had proof of it, he finally admitted it. Again hes crying begging for me back. Weve not been together for two months but ive started texting him again. My heart just cant leave him. My dilemma is should i take him back again? Its hard because when its written down like this, its a bit black and white like yes leave the dick. But I am so in love with this boy and he has done so so much for me, we have so much history. Also does this really count as cheating? Im taking it as if he has slept with another woman but he hasnt. Hes admitted to me that before me, hed never been in a proper relationship, and when he texts other women on tinder its literally for 10 minutes whilst he plays with himself basically and then theyre deleted. Hes not interested in any other relationship. He says its like people who are addicted to pornography, he's always done it and is trying so hard to break it. We only get to see eachother twice a week and i refuse to talk sexually or send him pictures or anything over the phone so i suppose hes looking elsewhere to satisfy himself. Im not making excuses as such or being naive, i just really love him and want him in my life, so is it worth taking him back? And if so, how can i stop being so anxious and insecure in the relationship? Thanks girls. smile

OP’s posts: |
NoBaggyPants Tue 21-May-19 09:51:59

Im not making excuses as such or being naive

Yes, you are.

Rainbowqueeen Tue 21-May-19 09:52:19

No he’s not worth it. If he really really wanted to keep you in his life he would change his behaviour, with help if necessary.

He doesn’t respect you. You need to show yourself some respect and move on. Block him everywhere. Keep busy and occupied

Time spent with him stops you finding someone who makes you feel loved cherished and adored.

It’s always hard moving on but it’s easier than being in the same place in5 years

Windmillwhirl Tue 21-May-19 09:52:20

Walk away, you can't trust him. Next time he begs, tell him the crocodile years are too little too late.

He's a dick.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 21-May-19 09:53:42

You would be insane to take him back. He's a liar, a cheater, and he has no respect for you. Give your head a massive wobble and move on. The only thing you will get from him is heartbreak.

user1481840227 Tue 21-May-19 09:55:03

Saw a great tweet a while ago which is so so so true.

" A man can cry, go down on his knees, have an entire mental breakdown in front of you, and still be lying".

RiversDisguise Tue 21-May-19 09:55:45

Where are your standards?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Tue 21-May-19 09:57:12

My heart just cant leave him.

Please have some self respect. He doesn't have ANY respect for you at all. By taking him back in the past, you've basically given him the all clear to do this without any repercussions.

Sorry to be blunt, but he's a cheating little shit and will continue to do this to you. Please don't put yourself through this.

Cocobean30 Tue 21-May-19 09:57:17

Get a grip and leave him

ILoveMaxiBondi Tue 21-May-19 09:58:33

Oh wow! Honey where is your respect for yourself?

keepingbees Tue 21-May-19 09:59:16

Sorry but your love is not reciprocated. He's wanting his kicks elsewhere, he's basically saying you're not enough for him.
How on earth could you ever build a future together?
You can't trust him and he's disrespectful to you. That's not love or any basis for a relationship. He doesn't seem to be in remotely the right place to even be thinking about an exclusive relationship. In which case he needs to move on and stop treating you like this, and you need to see that you're worth more than this.

Halle87 Tue 21-May-19 09:59:45

He will never break this habit, and I imagine it's not only photos / texts he's sending also.
Your boyfriend is a womaniser and you should listen to your female intuition - He is not to be trusted.
Let the dog have his day and block him out of your life for good!

MashedSpud Tue 21-May-19 09:59:45

Bin the cheat. He has zero respect for you.

LellyMcKelly Tue 21-May-19 10:00:21

What is wrong with you? He’s openly cheating and you’re still pulling the, “Ooh, but I love him” shite. You’ve only been together a year. This is supposed to be the honeymoon period, when you’re mad about each other - instead he’s sending photos of his cock to other women and god knows what else - these are only the ones you know about. I guarantee when he’s not with you he’s balls deep in someone else. This is not going to get better. If you take him back you’re giving him a free pass to do what he wants.

user1481840227 Tue 21-May-19 10:00:26

Just to add if he's addicted to this now then unless he's seeking therapy or something I would consider this to be an addiction you'd have to live with. What would happen if you had a dry patch, kids with him, were unwell for a period of time and weren't have sex etc. You would be worrying about this 'addiction' all the time.

ElspethFlashman Tue 21-May-19 10:00:35

Well he's got a nice pliant submissive one in you, hasn't he?

No wonder he's begging for you back. No other woman would be so dumb and he knows it. With you he gets to have his cake and eat it. He wins, you lose, but you don't seem to mind losing or dating a loser.

TeaForDad Tue 21-May-19 10:02:31

Stay with him, I'll keep an eye out for the thread where he's cheated on you fully. Maybe after you've had kids? Sure he'll be a great role model for them.

Give your head a rattle and tell him to do one

SparklyMagpie Tue 21-May-19 10:04:43

Yeah go for it and take him back, but you'll never lose the anxiety and being insecure

Who wouldn't love being at home thinking about their relationship whilst hes getting his rocks off to women on a dating app and anyone he can find on social media

What a loser

user1481840227 Tue 21-May-19 10:05:28

Also think about it, even if you believe that it's just dirty talk while he wanks, would you not be absolutely mortified to be out somewhere and have a girl recognise him and be looking at you thinking oh he has a girlfriend but is happy to send his pic of his cock around to everyone and telling all her friends etc. He's embarrassing you.

RantyAnty Tue 21-May-19 10:06:25

This dirty disgusting wanker has nothing to offer.

You may have feelings for him but he clearly doesn't feel the same about you or he wouldn't behave in this vile predatory manner.

Deathgrip Tue 21-May-19 10:06:51

So much history? It’s been a year. I have knickers that I’ve had longer than you’ve been together. You deserve so much more than this. He will not change and, having been with a porn addict, I promise you this is not going anywhere good. Find someone who respects you, but first learn to respect yourself more than this. This isn’t love. One day I promise you’ll look back and wonder how you ever tolerated this.

RockinHippy Tue 21-May-19 10:07:47

how can i stop being so anxious and insecure in the relationship?

By dumping his ass & finding yourself someone who actually respects you.

SparklyMagpie Tue 21-May-19 10:08:55

And how can you even touch someone or go near them knowing they can't even wait a couple of days to see you, actually that's not even the point

Maybe you'd see him more than 2 times a week if he could keep his dick in his pants

Eww just disgusting

EggAndButter Tue 21-May-19 10:09:32

He is wrecking your MH and your self esteem already (see the feeling anxious and insecure...)
If you ‘go back to him’, this will only be worse.

RLEOM Tue 21-May-19 10:12:00

He won't change. If he doesn't respect you now, it's going to get a whole lot worse down the line. Leave.

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