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Early days... unsure what "this" is.

(9 Posts)
candlelightshite Thu 16-May-19 16:54:06

Back story.... was married for about 12 yrs, divorced 3 years ago and had a bit of a disasterous year-long relationship last year with a guy who only stayed over at my house twice (!!) but blamed his light sleeping... there was always an excuse...which hammered my self esteem.

Been seeing new guy (met OLD) for about 2 months, we talk/text every day etc. and get on pretty well when we're together, seem to have a similar sense of humour. He can be really caring and nice in some respects but (and this might say more about me than him) I sometimes think he's a bit laid back about things and I wonder he's that into me.

So, I'm thinking are we just dating, is it casual or what? He talks about the future - not our future per se but he'll say you can come and do this at mine (a longish term training thing that he has equipment for) and he has bought a toothbrush for me at his.

Is it too early to ask? I really like him but I'm afraid of overinvesting like I did with the guy last year. Someone else has asked me out. I'm not hugely interested, but also don't want to put my eggs in one basket which Im not sure how secure it is.

How do I bring this up without sounding like I want to nail him down after 2 months!!

Italiangreyhound Thu 16-May-19 17:20:20

candlelightshite wa T do th want out often relationship? Do you want marriage? Kids?

Two most is quite a short time. But if you want to date someone else maybe you course if he sees the two of you as exclusive.

Good luck.

candlelightshite Thu 16-May-19 17:41:21

I'm not totally sure what I'm looking for either... but I do want to be exclusive and do things together and just see how things go.

Dont want kids and neither does he.

That's what I want to ask, but is it too soon for OLD?

KatnissK Thu 16-May-19 17:47:22

I met my husband online he asked me to be exclusive after 2 weeks! It's fine to ask after a couple of months.

Italiangreyhound Thu 16-May-19 19:23:51

I agree it is fine to ask to be exclusive after this time.

Good luck.

PeaBea Thu 16-May-19 19:36:31

I'd go on the other date first and then make my mind up! grin

Adversecamber22 Fri 17-May-19 08:19:59

I think it’s ok to say you want to be exclusive at this stage but I think that’s enough.

mindutopia Fri 17-May-19 18:26:27

Do you want to go out with the other guy? If you do, I would do it. If you don’t then, I’d just have a chat about it. I’d be honest and say you just wanted to check and see how he was feeling as you don’t want to be dating other people if he’s assuming you’re exclusive.

candlelightshite Sun 19-May-19 13:59:04

I cancelled with the other guy. I just wasn't really that into him and couldn't muster up the enthusiasm.

Went out with the current guy last night, had a very nice evening stayed at his (as arranged just prior to me leaving the house) but he didn't want to dtd as he had thrush. (Last time we had sex it was quite rough and I think this may haae caused the thrush?) I was a bit worried that he wasn't turned on by me... He did pleasure me though and we had a nice cuddle afterwards. I asked him if he was seeing other people (no) and he asked me the same (no).

We fell asleep and were both rushing around this morning as we had stuff to do so no more serious chat. Would he ask me to stay if he didn't fancy me? Or pleasure me? I'm at the stage where I'd like to start seeing him a bit more, but should I do the asking or leave it to him? I'd be interested in other guys' opinions here too if you're around.

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