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Would this be narcissistic?

(33 Posts)
Irishdolly Thu 16-May-19 16:32:37

Just trying to piece together if someone (man) is narcissistic- will give a few examples and please can everyone state opinions thanks

People comment on how 1 year old baby looks like him. This is said by random people and family/friends
His response always: "poor girl" or "hope she doesn't go bald like me"

He badmouths faults such as people who are overweight even size 12 calls them big or plump

Says he knows better and is always right - sometimes says jokingly but often repeats this so loses it's "humour"

When someone fancies him or has known to be fancied will say "can you blame her?"
Says jokingly but seems to mean it

Will think of more examples depending on replies

TeaForTheWin Fri 17-May-19 17:42:19

Also, no idea where you got the idea that anyone needs a medical degree to diagnose narcissism? xD Not even true.

horizontalis Fri 17-May-19 17:50:28

Sounds like an egotistical misogynistic twat totally lacking in social niceties and with all the empathy of a brick to me.

I've no narc experience (thankfully) but I've read quite a few of the narcissist threads on here, and from what you've said so far he doesn't really fit with that.

Maybe he's just an arsehole.

PuppetShowInTheSoundofMusic Fri 17-May-19 18:29:06

I'd also add to my list (again excluding revaluing/love bombing phase when they are utter ideal partners) doing the opposite of what you want to do. In fact, this is such a tell of narcissism that not only can you use it as a test, you can use it to get what you want. Example:

you arrive at an outdoor cafe.
N: where do you want to sit?
You I'd like to sit in the sun.
N Let's sit here this is the best table [in shade].

You arrrive at an outdoor cafe
N: where do you want to sit:
You I'd like to sit in the shade.
N Let's sit here this is the best table [in the sun]

Applies to absolutely everything - whatever you want, they will do their level best to get the oposite in play. The trouble is in most cases by time you cotton on to the fact you are dealing with a N, they already know enough about you to know what you really want so it is hard to fool them properly.

NannyMcfanny Sat 18-May-19 13:39:46

This guy is good at explaining

NannyMcfanny Sat 18-May-19 13:40:58

He has lots of videossmile

ChiaraRimini Sat 18-May-19 18:50:36

Does it matter what label you can put on him, OP?
If he treats you badly, you should dump him. It doesn't matter why surely?

lifebegins50 Sat 18-May-19 19:53:40

There is no cure for NPD however it helps to validate your experience if you know that what you are experiencing is real. I also wish I had known of the traits years ago as it may have helped me to leave earlier. I didn't know lack of empathy was a "thing" so assumed I just needed to explain my feelings better. Also knowing he had NPD may have helped me prepare for leaving and know how vindicative he would be. I assumed he hated me so would want me gone but my leaving triggered an injury that caused rage. When you see rage it is on a different level to anger, truly scary stuff.

NPD characters have unstable relationships and cannot make real connections so there will be a history of failed or superficial relationships. That is an indicator and one I wish I knew beforehand.
Another test is what happens when you say "No" to them. Those with NPD will react very badly to No, not anger but rage. Often not shouty but they display utter contempt for you.
They also need constant validation which becomes obvious to spot once you are aware. Everyone likes positive feedback but Ex needed glowing praise for everything he did..he lapped it up, even if it was obviously excessive praise.

They are super sensitive to criticism, again no one likes to be criticised but they react very defensively to minor perceived slights.

You will often feel drained after being around someone with NPD and walk on eggshells. It is very different to being around or living with an annoying or irritating person.

Closetbeanmuncher Sat 18-May-19 23:01:22

Is this the cheat that you kicked out we are talking about OP?

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