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(316 Posts)
snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 07:33:58

In-laws are headed over staying for close to 6 weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️

Baby is almost 10 weeks so they are coming to visit.

Any tips on getting through 6 weeks?

Other half is off for 4 thankfully but isn’t a planner & right now... zero plans 🤦🏾‍♀️

snoopy18 Sun 14-Jul-19 07:39:45

Haha I’m not controlling trust me 😂

Not into him being into porn - each to their own it’s not for me.

HappyLoneParentDay Sun 14-Jul-19 05:05:12

@snoopy18 You sound very controlling confused

Also, what's wrong with your husband watching porn?! It's just acting! He's a red blooded male! It's perfectly normal. You say you "don't want your baby growing up around this" so I presume you won't be having sex at all until your baby has grown up & moved out then????

Weenurse Sun 14-Jul-19 04:20:14

Where to form here

SausageEggAndSpam Sun 14-Jul-19 03:53:04

Taken me ages to read the full thread. But wow. Starts one way, ends with a different issue.

You did wonderfully. And you're obviously very capable and strong.

I would be asking to keep passports etc at my mother's house if I was in your situation.

I hope whatever the future brings you, that it leaves you in a happy and secure place.

Durgasarrow Sun 14-Jul-19 02:47:12

oops, I didn't read all the way through! So sorry at how it's been working out!

Durgasarrow Sun 14-Jul-19 02:41:06

I think it is wonderful that your husband has bought a blow up mattress for his parents. That alone should solve your problem within a few days.

snoopy18 Sat 13-Jul-19 20:57:51

Already on to the passport it’s been put away just incase

Herocomplex Sat 13-Jul-19 20:44:57

Very good advice regarding the passport.

snoopy18 Sat 13-Jul-19 20:39:29

Should be able to get child maintenance as it’s listed on countries UK have agreements with not sure how easy it would be but will definately be trying if it comes to it.

Yeah have family here hence why I wouldn’t go since I don’t trust him anyway!

To be fair we should be fine financially.

Xyzzzzz Sat 13-Jul-19 20:20:47

I’m so sorry @snoopy18. Just try to keep strong and hopefully you’ll make the best decision for you and your relationship and baby.

Let him go abroad. Have you got support from your parents?

RandomMess Sat 13-Jul-19 20:15:53

KOKO thanks

Hopefully he may just disappear off, rubbish that you wouldn't get any maintenance but at least none of them would darken your home ever again...

Can I suggest you get the baby a passport and keep it safe, very safe.

snoopy18 Sat 13-Jul-19 20:03:53

I feel bullied into decisions to be honest and I won’t stand for it any longer have made it very very clear to his family my family and him

snoopy18 Sat 13-Jul-19 20:00:49

Its been awful since they have gone. Not had a proper conversation with me even though he’s the one that’s messed up major & still doesn’t see it. It was my birthday, sure I got gift but I just don’t feel good about the way he is treating me. He’s had the audacity to tell me how he’s not happy living in the UK and basically wants to move back to his home country etc.

I’m like are you kidding me? I would never move because from day one I’ve said I don’t want to live there for a number of reasons and 2 I have zero trust in you and you aren’t even trying to sort this marriage out so why would I even contemplate moving?

Baby is only young yet he’s banging on about how it’s not a good life for baby etc I told him all baby needs is a home, love & to be looked after which I can give him fine.

I’ve told him to book a flight back and spend some time alone back at his home country to figure out what he wants becaue I’m not going anywhere neither is baby.

Dillydallyingthrough Sat 06-Jul-19 18:36:50

OP I've been reading this thread since it started and just caught up with the last couple of pages. I'm so sorry you are going through this, you are having such a shit time.

I'm from an Asian background were family staying when theres a newborn is the norm - except in my family! So could really relate to your stance, your writing style is really witty and enjoyable to read.

Just know you have got this, your in-laws won't be able to blame you for the marriage ending if it does, your little boy will be fine as he has his mom looking out for him and she is clearly very strong.

Take some time to get over the visitors and then see how you feel - no-one would blame you for ending it now. Good luck.

RandomMess Mon 01-Jul-19 06:56:39

Please get yourself tested, can you really be sure that he never chested since the start of your relationship? Plus what about before you, did you both have health checks etc or just take his word for it?

snoopy18 Mon 01-Jul-19 06:26:32

I don’t think he’s physically cheated on me tbh defo emotionally though. Won’t be sleeping with him anyways so save myself the effort. Now to deal with this rubbish going forward. Looking into marriage counselling later today.

billy1966 Sun 30-Jun-19 22:50:29

OP, you sound like a lovely woman.
Protect yourself and get tested.
I wouldn't trust him.
By all means go through the motions but
in MN speak....ducks in a row👍

Weenurse Sat 29-Jun-19 23:45:12

You survived, well done

RandomMess Sat 29-Jun-19 18:29:25

I would book yourself an STD check btw as goodness knows what he has actually got up to...

MrsJonesAndMe Sat 29-Jun-19 18:24:49

Well done snoopy Pour a glass or wine or run a bath or just do whatever you want!

snoopy18 Sat 29-Jun-19 14:24:12

They’ve just left and it was the most awkward thing ever!

And breathing a sigh of relief

1forAll74 Sat 29-Jun-19 13:50:42

I couldn't cope with this at all, would may be ok if you lived in Buckingham palace, but sounds like you don't.

It all sounds a bit of a nightmare,and the fact that you don't know the people that well. When I had a small baby of this age,I only wanted very small visits from anyone, as in about two hours,for a cup of tea ha ha.

It's not just the people for this visit, it's all their luggage all over as well, so hope you can stay sane for the duration.

snoopy18 Sat 29-Jun-19 13:18:05

@RandomMess yep I know but now that I’ve got everything off my chest & both parents know, it’s his last shot to make a change and be in his son’s life full time. I don’t want my boy to grow up without a dad in his life and this is for him too.

RandomMess Sat 29-Jun-19 13:04:32

You know you don't have to give him a 2nd chance...

Telling his parents should have been the final straw tbh!

snoopy18 Sat 29-Jun-19 12:14:03

I already know it’s a blessing in disguise

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