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(316 Posts)
snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 07:33:58

In-laws are headed over staying for close to 6 weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️

Baby is almost 10 weeks so they are coming to visit.

Any tips on getting through 6 weeks?

Other half is off for 4 thankfully but isn’t a planner & right now... zero plans 🤦🏾‍♀️

Mamamiais Wed 22-May-19 11:20:41

My mum stayed with us for 4 weeks following my MIL for another two. Both were very helpful, although my MIL was very judgmental. My DH told her once to leave me be and she stopped. She was overall helping with baby, cooking and housework. It was better than visiting her with my baby as she was commenting that we let our baby to be too messy and too loud. Needless to say, I am not going to visit her soon.

snoopy18 Sat 25-May-19 08:58:53

@desparate4sleep nope still here & still no plans. OH has been taking them out & ive just been going with them when I’ve felt like it with baby & still getting self care time in 😁

35 days to go 🤦🏾‍♀️

snoopy18 Sat 25-May-19 09:14:26

@Mamamiais very annoying isn’t it - I’m a patient person but when it comes to this stuff it’s annoying.

She made a comment about my weight other day 🤦🏾‍♀️ Thankfully I don’t get offended easily but it’s not the best thing to say to someone who just had a baby 11 weeks ago!

Leaving OH to deal with them mostly as my focus is the baby & myself!

Weenurse Sun 26-May-19 01:48:01

34 days to go.
When does DH go back to work?
Could you subtly start to mention you are planning a few days away with family/friends and maybe they would like to catch up with their own family/friends?
Your plans can then fall apart once they are away.

MumsyJ Sun 26-May-19 09:23:53

That would be me pulling my hair out. 34 frigging days to go! Fuck that!

snoopy18 Sun 26-May-19 10:52:53

She’s made a comment about my weight again this morning which is really annoying. I’ve gone out for a few hours thank god. I’ve been spending most the time in bedroom cos baby needs ‘feeding’ or is tired 😂

@Weenurse he’s back at work from next week they’ve still not made plans going to have conversations with OH when I’m back home

I know - it’s feeling a very long stay already

Xyzzzzz Sun 26-May-19 10:55:39

She really needs to stop with the weight comments. I’m normally one to grin and bear but weight comments I won’t stand for. It’s rude and insensitive imo

snoopy18 Sun 26-May-19 11:04:26

@Xyzzzzz exactly that - I’ve just message OH to tell him she’s said it again she needs to stop it it’s sooo beyond rude. I see where OH criticism behaviours come from & have been pulling him up more about it.

Not raising my baby around constant criticism just because he has. Does my head in totally.

snoopy18 Sun 26-May-19 11:06:10

Wouldn’t mind but I actually feel good considering I’ve not been able to exercise yet and fit in to pre pregnancy size pants 🤣

Also regardless of baby or not- isn’t ok to day stuff like that.

Xyzzzzz Sun 26-May-19 11:09:37

Good for you! I’d be straight on the phone to my DH too! To be fair I’m dreading in laws visiting once I have the baby! So I’m hoping your thread will give me strength @snoopy18

Contraceptionismyfriend Sun 26-May-19 11:17:52

Why don't you pull her up on it??!!

You are an adult in your home. She has no power over her.

"I may be holding a few more lbs MIL but I can't ditch them. You however don't seem to be able to get rid of your poisonous attitude."

billy1966 Sun 26-May-19 11:26:56

Well done OP, you sound just great.
Leave them too it.

When he goes back to work, continue on.
Let them sort themselves out.

This is a fantastic time to meet other Mum's, who can be the most wonderful support to you.
This should be an absolute priority for you when you feel able.

Before I had a baby I never would have thought I could sit and discuss the minutae of babies feeding/pooping/sleeping.
But it can be so soothing/supportive to meet other Mum's who are exactly where you are at in life.

Definitely consider going to your Mum's to stay to break it up for yourself.

Continue to leave all feeding/ organising to your DH. The goal should be to inconvenience him as much as possible!

Definitely call MIL out on the weight comments. In fact de-camping to your mother's could be a wonderful passive aggressive move that will give your DH impetus to sort her out too.

Please keep us posted.

Summerorjustmaybe Sun 26-May-19 13:41:07

I would tell dh you have thought of a fab idea to shed a shit load of excess weight around you.......
By sending the Cfers home..

greenwaterbottle Sun 26-May-19 16:06:17

Great excuse to fit in long walks (and cafes) to fill your day.

rainbowstardrops Sun 26-May-19 16:18:43

How bloody rude to mention your weight! shock
I'd have to be rude back but that's just me wink

snoopy18 Sun 26-May-19 16:24:31

@Xyzzzzz OH just said ‘she probably just said it like most Indian people do’ and shrugged it off. I’ll be having words when they are no longer here as I don’t want to cause a scene right now - it’s not worth my energy or time - can’t control what they’ll do or say but I can protect my energy and baby as baby deserves the best version of me. When are you due?

@Contraceptionismyfriend I can’t be dealing with it. I’ll be having words with OH when they aren’t here. It makes sense why OH and his sister are critical people - they must get it from her. Their dad seems pretty chilled out... so far. She walked over to me other day with a lint remover and started removing stuff off me without me asking or saying it’s ok 🤷🏾‍♀️ We have a dog - his hair gets on me constantly it’s normal. She also mentioned she is allergic to dogs ... after inviting themselves over for 6 weeks knowing we have a dog 🤷🏾‍♀️

@billy1966 my passive aggressive at the moment is just hanging out in the bedroom with baby & going out as much as possible with baby and some days not often but without baby for a few hours. Prefer to have baby with me though. I’ve booked on to some classes / events so looking forward to that and basically meeting as many people as possible over the next few weeks! Yeah it defo helps to have mum friends - although I don’t have many yet I’ve reconnected with high school friends - or old friends from previous jobs I’ve had over baby as they had them a few months apart too. It’s been very nice!

@Summerorjustmaybe he knows very well this will not be happening again. I’m very much a woman of action. I’ve thrown him out of the house once already for things he’s done. I follow through I’m not just a talker and will not tolerate bullshit from him or his family.

@greenwaterbottle precisely that! think they expected me to invite them along earlier today but no I need my own time and space too & baby has a cold so it’s OH time to look after baby today whilst I had some me time.

Wonder what else will happen before they go 🤦🏾‍♀️

Xyzzzzz Sun 26-May-19 16:47:10

@snoopy18 I know what he means but still..just inconsiderate and not an excuse imo. But pick and chose your battles! Like I said just grin and bear. I’m due in August.

Summerorjustmaybe Sun 26-May-19 16:53:45

Imo before the next whisper of a visit you need a really hairy ddog....

snoopy18 Sun 26-May-19 16:56:00

@@snoopy18 that’s the thing that pisses me off - he shrugs off most things and doesn’t stand for anything inpaticular! Especially when it comes to his parents. So whipped it’s unreal 🙄

BumbleBeee69 Sun 26-May-19 17:06:51

Cripes OP you're biting your tongue well.. but regards MIL and your weight if something needs said YOU SAY IT GIRL !!!!! flowers

billy1966 Sun 26-May-19 17:29:58

I think you are playing a blinder OP. Once you start a family with someone, you begin a long road.
It is lovely to have a good relationship with in-laws. The people whom have the best relationships tend to be very kind and respectful.
Telling a new mother she could lose a few would piss off a saint.

I'll repeat what I've already written. Inconvenience your DH as much as possible with a smile on your face.
6 weeks of that should leave a memory for him to not dismiss so easily.

Oh and don't forget to let him cook for them when he comes in from work!

PepsiLola Sun 26-May-19 17:57:28

I cannot even contemplate what it would be like for 6 weeks of my in laws! Jerez!

Next time she comments on losing a few lb say "so could you, at least my child is only 11 weeks old, yours is 33..." etc

snoopy18 Mon 27-May-19 09:21:47

@BumbleBeee69 I’ll be having a dig if something is said again. Hopefully OH will have said something to her to stop it.

@billy1966 yep definately inconveniencing him as much as possible 😂 I wanted them to visit their family and stay there when OH was at work and after asking what was the plan he said they had been invited over for the week he was at home so I said no they need to go whilst you’re at work because I’m not having them in the house whilst he’s at work. He’s trying to change his holidays and / or change the time they go away. I made it clear on several occasions that’s what needs to happen yet it still didn’t register. I don’t get his mentality he’s such a floozy!!

@PepsiLola don’t mean to sound funny but their whole family is short & skinny and clearly have judgemental issues so they need to work on themselves before judging others! My pops is 6”5 and super broad - I have big hips and I’m 5’6 but have always loved my shape in all honesty because I’ve always been healthy despite not being ‘normal standards of beauty’ if you like. And that’s what’s matters to me that myself and people are happy in their own skin no matter what others think.

One week down 🤦🏾‍♀️

PepsiLola Mon 27-May-19 12:51:33

I would love to have hips! I'm straight up and down with a very un-feminine waist, obviously your partner loves that about you too!

snoopy18 Mon 27-May-19 14:57:36

@PepsiLola he’s not really given any compliments since I had the baby to be honest so I don’t really know or care what he thinks right now. My health and baby are priorities over what other people think.

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