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(316 Posts)
snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 07:33:58

In-laws are headed over staying for close to 6 weeks 🤦🏾‍♀️

Baby is almost 10 weeks so they are coming to visit.

Any tips on getting through 6 weeks?

Other half is off for 4 thankfully but isn’t a planner & right now... zero plans 🤦🏾‍♀️

Contraceptionismyfriend Thu 16-May-19 14:40:09

JFC. Does your mum live near by?

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 16:15:18

She does yeah..

Flamingosnbears Thu 16-May-19 16:24:20

If your stressing already about them coming over for so long you need to have a chat with your Husband about making it shorter you've just had a baby they can't put on you both like that get them into a hotel if they have to stay for a long time but not a full six at yours it sounds like hell...

Contraceptionismyfriend Thu 16-May-19 16:26:35

Does she happen to have a spare bedroom?

PicsInRed Thu 16-May-19 16:41:20

I would cancel. This is a terrible idea you will regret forever.

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 16:45:06

My other half won’t be impressed if I suggest that :-/

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 16:46:02

@PicsInRed it’s got disaster written all over it I think other half knows it too but he’s too much of a door mat to say anything as usual

BertrandRussell Thu 16-May-19 16:46:07

Do they have other relations in this country?

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 16:46:33

Contraceptionismyfriend OH won’t be impressed if I suggest that :-/

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 16:48:26

He told me it was 4 weeks at first then after they had already booked flights he said it’s 6 weeks so I made him book another 2 weeks off as I’m not dealing with them for a whole 4 weeks alone. He doesn’t seem to understand how much of an impact women have after having a baby even though I’ve explained my reasons behind it several occasions @Flamingosnbears

Contraceptionismyfriend Thu 16-May-19 16:49:34

Fuck him!! You don't ask his permission. You pack you and the baby up and go and stay with your mum. You're about to squeeze a baby out of your vagina. I bled a lot for 4 months after my son. I had internal grazes and the gushing boobs.
Would I hell have hosted.
Nobody else but you and what you matters.

BertrandRussell Thu 16-May-19 16:52:11

Are they the sort of people who get on with stuff?

It sounds as if you need to sort out some house rules before they arrive- you can do it nicely. Maybe a rota for cooking and shopping? Write and tell them that the space is small and you’re going to be concentrating on the baby so they’ll have to be family not guests. And get your dp to arrange some days out for him and them to touristy things. Can he contact other relations in this country and get them to invite them for a week?:

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 16:52:46

@Contraceptionismyfriend the baby is 9 weeks but I love my own space and have just about got some sort of rythm going on with him, I’m self employed so trying to also do bits of work when I can and the whole thing just feels over whelming. Wouldn’t mind but we are due to visit there later this year so I don’t know why they are bothering to come for so long.

foreverhanging Thu 16-May-19 16:53:48

Christ I wouldn't let people I LIKED stay for 6 weeks

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 16:55:04

@BertrandRussell I don’t know them very well as I haven’t spent time with them as they live abroad. We ended up going on a family holiday after we got married because of logistics but other than that, I don’t know much about how they are. They said they’ll just get on with stuff and OH is gullable - I mean they won’t have access to driving etc so how can they just get on with stuff for one.

Yeah you’re right I need to have words tonight they arrive tomorrow 😭

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 16:55:35

Same @foreverhanging I feel like I’ve been lumbered into it

BertrandRussell Thu 16-May-19 16:59:55

They arrive tomorrow!! Jesus!

Right. You need to talk to him tonight (has he got their room ready, by the way?) and force him to do some planning. Then give them a day to get over the journey and on Saturday, sit down with them and talk about how it’s going to work. Assume they’ll be reasonable until proved otherwise.

snoopy18 Thu 16-May-19 17:18:48

@BertrandRussell he hasn’t yet no, I’m not doing it going to leave him to do it - he has brought the bedding etc so just needs to do the mattress up - yeah he thinks it’s ok for his parents to sleep on a blow up mattress too 😂🤷🏾‍♀️

SunshineCake Thu 16-May-19 17:31:29

Doesn't matter if he's not impressed at the thought of you going to your mothers. You're not impressed at him being an idiot and not thinking this through.

Wnikat Thu 16-May-19 17:35:20

Find an Airbnb for them. For at least four weeks of their stay. It is absolutely not fair to have them stay with you for that long with a nine week old. Put your foot down.

Contraceptionismyfriend Thu 16-May-19 17:38:03

Thank God. I thought you were just a bout to give birth.
But either way you've got a newborn. This is BS. Disengage. They are not your guests and if you start to feel uncomfortable go to your mothers.

glitterfarts Thu 16-May-19 17:38:32

Clear the conservatory or dining room and have them sleep in there - you need your office for work. It's not like they're here for the weekend - they're here until July!
That is quite an unreasonable ask for a couple with a newborn.

glitterfarts Thu 16-May-19 17:40:14

And you can't just sit at home for 6 weeks doing nothing - I'd be still visiting your own Mum with just your baby and call it "DH spending quality time with his parents".

BertrandRussell Thu 16-May-19 17:41:46

“Find an Airbnb for them. For at least four weeks of their stay. It is absolutely not fair to have them stay with you for that long with a nine week old. Put your foot down.”

But the dp invited them. She can’t expect them to pay for 4 weeks of accommodation after that. Unless they are rolling in dosh.

BlueMerchant Thu 16-May-19 17:42:15

Oh no no no. It wouldn't be happening. You really should have put your foot down at the first mention of this. However, it's not too late. Your DH is going to have to arrange alternative accommodation.FULL STOP.

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