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Just a fantasy?

(27 Posts)
Eggsandavo Thu 16-May-19 02:17:39

So I'm a happily married woman with two DC. We both work full time, DH works nights and I'm in a job where I work most weekends therefore we don't really get much quality time together, especially without our youngest who's only a year old.

Our sex life is good when it happens but doesn't happen very often (once pw or less) and I'm a very sexual person.

Recently I've been flirting a lot with a colleague and though I enjoyed the attention I believed it to be harmless. He also lives with his gf. Anyway, he was texting tonight (doesn't usually text outside of work often) and he's confessed to wanting more and suggested a no strings thing... I feel SO guilty to even be tempted by this, but I really am.

Has anyone gone through with the fantasy and it worked out or is this one to leave well alone?

TinselAndKnickers Thu 16-May-19 02:36:44

Its the feeling of it being so wrong that's part of the attraction in my experience - run away! Your marriage is not worth ruining over a novelty that will wear off smile

Cookiedoughforbreakfast Thu 16-May-19 11:48:25

I'm not sure what you mean by "worked out".

Does that mean having an affair which doesn't rip apart two families?...

Good luck with that hmm

crappyday2018 Thu 16-May-19 12:49:35

If you can genuinely deal with the fallout if your DH finds out, then yes go ahead. Are you prepared to risk ending your marriage?
If the answer is yes that i would suggest doing that first before you do anything else.

HollowTalk Thu 16-May-19 12:52:54

You love your husband. You love your children. Why on earth would you risk that for the sake of a quick shag? Can you see yourself telling your children that you and their dad are splitting up because you went with another man? If you love your husband, don't betray him.

AnyFucker Thu 16-May-19 12:55:49

Don't be a dick

MumsyJ Thu 16-May-19 13:00:52

This is a no brainer OP. Don't even lose sleep over this nonsense, your marriage and family are way more important.

Distance yourself from this lunatic!

PinkHeartLovesCake Thu 16-May-19 13:02:19

Ffs what is wrong with people like you?

Your an adult with a child, you’ve been in a relationship a while and things some times get a bit boring that’s normal. Most adults don’t fuck the first cock that comes along though.

What do you mean by worked out? You mean how did you have a cheap affair without ruining your partner and upsetting the dc

You should be ashamed and quite honestly grow up

MashedSpud Thu 16-May-19 13:06:10

You can’t be that happily married if you’re considering an affair.

Fix things with your husband before you destroy his life and your children’s lives.

RantyAnty Thu 16-May-19 13:11:46

Why don't you both ask your DPs for permission to do this and see how they feel about it.

Costacoffeeplease Thu 16-May-19 13:12:46

Seriously? You think you can have the cake and the ha’penny? Okhmm

emotionalaffair Thu 16-May-19 14:00:02

DH's "fantasy" torpedoed our marriage. Leave well alone.

TemporaryPermanent Thu 16-May-19 14:06:00

bloody hell, once a week?? that's really an impossibly low amount for you?

I have what you might call a lively sex life at the moment (I'm single). It means sex around once a fortnight if I'm very lucky. I carry an attack alarm to my dates. My sexual choices result in regular bouts of thrush and i am currently awaiting results from an STI check (I do use condoms). If this chap is up for NS sex, chances are he's doing it with others, and you need to have a think about how you would tell your husband that you need to abstain and he needs testing for gonorrhoea, chlamydia, herpes, genital warts etc.

How's thst fantasy sounding now? this is the reality of NS sex.

ThatCurlyGirl Thu 16-May-19 14:14:55

Imagine your husbands reaction if he found out you'd had a no strings attached thing with someone.

Imagine your reaction if you found out your husband had had a no strings attached thing with someone.


1. You're unfulfilled enough leave your relationship completely, whether to have a go at dating this guy or others to get the sex you crave (not dissing needing sexy I get that
result = you leave, for this guy or for a more fulfilling sex life even if he wasn't on the scene

2. You're Invested enough in your marriage to nip this in the bud before it escalates and work on the marriage
result = you stay with your husband and suggest working on the relationship

3. You're invested enough in the marriage to not want to leave, but you are capable of doing something incredibly selfish by continue your marriage with your unwitting husband who presumably assumes you're both being faithful to each other
result = you're a selfish dick

So which are you going to choose?

SugarHockeyIcedTea Thu 16-May-19 14:17:49

As usual Any Fucker has hit the nail on the head.

Op, don't be a dick.

Moralitym1n1 Thu 16-May-19 14:22:24

Worked out in what way?

FookMeFookYou Thu 16-May-19 14:38:49

Why are you trying to describe this as anything other than cheating? You said sex is good when you get the opportunity so instead of spending time chatting to this other guy put the effort in to your own relationship.

I get that it's flattering and exciting but back in the real world there are other ppl involved.

Leave it alone

DrMorbius Thu 16-May-19 15:53:38

As long as you love your husband, and this fantasy is your way of scratching an itch, I would say go for it. Your husband will probably agree.

littlemeitslyn Thu 16-May-19 16:15:08

What a lovely way with words you have

LuckyLou7 Thu 16-May-19 16:54:34

Don't go there. And stop flirting with him. So many workplace romances on here, where both parties have partners. Is there something in the water?

mimibunz Thu 16-May-19 16:56:47


SignedUpJust4This Thu 16-May-19 20:18:05

If your happy with the idea of a long drawn out divorce and custody battle and having your kids taken away from you at least every other weekend and causing life long relationship and confidence issues for your DH the GF and probably your children then do please go ahead. Sounds worth it.

SignedUpJust4This Thu 16-May-19 20:18:29


Mythreefavouritethings Thu 16-May-19 20:33:52

Has it worked out?? Priceless! Yes, it’s worked out brilliantly, lots of fun, felt wonderful and added so much excitement. For the selfish people doing it. The poor sap stuck at home? Not so much. Grow up and work at your marriage or put all your chips on your sleazy colleague and bugger off out of it. What is it about this site tonight??

Mythreefavouritethings Thu 16-May-19 20:36:15

Actually, definitely go with your colleague. When people as pitiful as both of you get together, it clears the path for decent adults who can handle fidelity or ending their relationships. You can race each other for the next cheap thrill.

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