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MY partner is so tight with money is this normal

(858 Posts)
Reynolds1212 Wed 15-May-19 18:46:42

I’ve been with my parter for six years I have three children from a previous relationship. My kids don’t see their father anymore he moved away and that was it he stopped contact which upset them greatly.
Anyway my partner earns in a day what I get in Three/four days so I’m not talking a small amount here .
My house is rented I pay all the bills all the rent and food he gives me £70 a week. I have a decent job but not amazing. I’ve added up my bills and rent and food and it’s a lot I have roughly £150-200 left per month for like treats for the kids clothes etc it is a struggle sometimes esp when a unexpected bill hits me etc my boys dad pays nothing. My partner is giving me £70 per week he earns about £3000-4000 a month he’s saving he keeps saying for us for a mortgage it’s hard to trust tbh. But this week I’ve been extra short I’ve had to borrow money off my mom to get food because we had a holiday to pay off which. Was half each and my car had to have lots of repairs done I’ve told him all week I have no money he just says well what happened to my £70 lol it doesn’t got very far with all k to outgoings the house is in my name so he thinks he doesn’t have to pay half but I rented the house before we met anyway and he moved in . He got two kids he has to pay CSA for but it isn’t that much £60 a week. I’m so sick of watching him buy stuff online and get new things and I haven’t got a pot to Pee in till the end of the month. If I bring up money it all kicks off he says not his kids and that I would have to pay it all if he wasn’t here. That’s not the point if they weren’t here he would have to pay half surely ?
He doesn’t buy food or give me extra hardly ever I have to beg for an extra £10 sometimes to get stuff he thinks £70 covers the food council tax water etc and it doesn’t
He’s got a lovely car and a nice van and my cars a bit of a banger now but it’s all I can afford it doesn’t seem fair after six years.
He doesn’t buy me things on Xmas and birthday I get stuff but never in between like he wouldn’t buy me clothes or the boys clothes at all.
He’s got other nice qualities but I feel like I pay for everything and he’s living for free and has no qualms about it I’ve bought it up so many times and it causes a row till he knows I won’t bring it back up again. His kids come to stay and he pays the same I have to text him and say get them food etc because it got to a point where I was feeding them to on £70 so I make him buy their food now. Everything is half holidays days out meals he never pays and he’s got the money to pay.
It’s getting to the point where I’ve had enough I don’t want this future now I’m in my early 30’s we don’t go out much if we do granted he does pay for my food but I always end up paying the drinks or something it’s never all for free.
I asked him for a lift to the hospital the other week and he asked me for a tenner for fuel I was just gobsmacked my son was in Hosptial and he asked me for money.
I don’t know what to do is anyone else partner like this please advise

Closetbeanmuncher Wed 15-May-19 18:49:08

Wow!!

Hes a selfish cocklodger, bin him off ASAP

maslinpan Wed 15-May-19 18:49:16

He is a dead weight. I would dump him immediately for asking for fuel money to go to hospital, the rest of it is shocking enough.

Jojoanna Wed 15-May-19 18:49:57

I would tell him to move out ,

PickAChew Wed 15-May-19 18:51:20

I could just about see arguments either way for the amount he gives for his lodging but begrudging you a lift to hospital is just plain callous.

I wouldn't want a man under my roof who so plainly resented my kids.

EKGEMS Wed 15-May-19 18:52:08

Tell him to get the fuck out and go see if 70 measly pounds will get him very far

Ragwort Wed 15-May-19 18:52:19

Dump him NOW.

I’ve heard some awful things on Mumsnet over the years but to ask your partner for petrol money to get you to hospital is shocking.

What on Earth do you get from this relationship?

TheQueef Wed 15-May-19 18:52:37

I've known some tight fellas over the years but this is too much.
Either he is fleecing you with his savings and intends to leave with his next egg or he's a blatant cocklodger.

fedup21 Wed 15-May-19 18:52:41

If I bring up money it all kicks off he says not his kids and that I would have to pay it all if he wasn’t here

What would he have to pay if he lived on his own!!??

He’s being a twat-he is saving money whilst you pay for everything and will be laughing when you (and you will) split up.

Purpleartichoke Wed 15-May-19 18:52:46

He expects 70 a week to cover all his living expenses? That is ridiculous.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 15-May-19 18:52:56

Obviously get rid of him.

Give him a list of half of rent/gas/electric/council tax/insurance/broadband/FOOD/toiletries/cleaning products.

Email it to him (don't talk to him). Say he owes half.

When he doesn't pay kick him out.

Bet he doesn't and starts weaselling and offers you £200 hmm

COCKLODGER

Closetbeanmuncher Wed 15-May-19 18:53:32

I asked him for a lift to the hospital the other week and he asked me for a tenner for fuel I was just gobsmacked my son was in Hosptial and he asked me for money

This bit in particular....horrid 😮

Paddingtonthebear Wed 15-May-19 18:53:51

Is this real? confused

Yes he is very tight. No it’s not normal. He is selfish and he is taking advantage of you. £70 a week is pathetic. Sounds like he is paying bare minimum towards his kids too. I would bet he is very resentful towards woman.

Asking for petrol money to enable you to see your ill son in hospital is disgusting. Have some respect for yourself and get rid of him. He is bleeding you dry and cares nothing about your happiness. He will never change.

ILoveMaxiBondi Wed 15-May-19 18:54:14

If he’s paying £60 a week CSA then he’s either lying to his ex or you about how much he earns.

VictoriaBun Wed 15-May-19 18:55:52

There is not a chance in hell I would put up with that ! £280 a month for all food, bills,heating,council tax , comforts of a nice home. Are you mad ? He earns a decent amount. I'm sorry but he is taking the piss.

Bodear Wed 15-May-19 18:55:59

OP he sounds awful!! Surely you’ll actually be better off if he moves out (lower bills, smaller food shop)? He is really mean and petty.

Mintandthyme Wed 15-May-19 18:56:19

No it’s not normal
Please take steps to get him out of your lives.
Are your children aware of the issues between you? Do they hear him being nasty about them ?

Oblomov19 Wed 15-May-19 18:56:58

No that's not normal. Being tight with money is a very unattractive quality.

But he's more than that. He's a waste of space. A user.

Heymummee Wed 15-May-19 18:57:52

Jesus wept.

Either he realises what he’s doing and doesn’t care, or he doesn’t realise and he’s a fucking idiot.

He surely knew you had children when you started a relationship. When my mum met my stepdad I was 13, I also have 2 siblings, he wouldn't dream of seeing my mum suffer whilst claiming we aren’t his children so it’s tough. You’re a partnership, a family now, he needs to step up and stop living off you. How can he possibly justify this behaviour?

Asking for petrol money would have been the final straw for me.

Tell him to go and take his poxy £70 elsewhere.

KittiKat Wed 15-May-19 18:58:08

WOW! Just WOW! So he is paying you £70 for sex, food, board and lodging. Just WOW!

Definitely get rid of this COCK LODGER NOW!!!

Work out just how much he has cost YOU over the past 6 years. He is most definitely on the best deal ever.

Reynolds1212 Wed 15-May-19 18:58:40

I did go mental when he asked for petrol money but he backtracked and offered to take me but said he was waiting to be paid and said I was being a mental cow and switched it all around onto me. I’ve just had enough now of it all I don’t think paying me a board like he does is good enough I’m not his mother its odd his dad does the same to his Mom aswell ive just accepted it but I see other couples splitting house hold bills and stuff and I’m like what am I doing really

Unburnished Wed 15-May-19 18:58:56

What is the point of him? To say youve got a ‘partner?’He isnt one is he, he’s a user.

He’s using you to help him save. I’d get rid of him and get a lodger instead.

Can you ask the CSA to chase your children’s father? He should be paying for them.

3brightstars3 Wed 15-May-19 18:58:58

And you actually call him a partner ?

You need to decide if you want to be with a man like this, I wouldn't of ever let him move in.

Relationships are not about 50:50 or equal splits but sharing so you all benefit.

When I met my husband I was a student with about 17k of debt, I worked part time but he supported us in his low way of £13k (yes this was 20 years ago). Together we paid of my debts, bought a house, and I now earn £50k to his lesser wage but it doesn't matter, everything we have is for us as a family. We are in it together for better or worse

Mrsbclinton Wed 15-May-19 18:59:00

He is getting a really good deal there!

You list every single house hold bill and work out half, he starts paying half immediately or he moves out.

If he says you would have to pay it all if he wasnt there, point out he too would have to pay way more if he was renting on his own.

He sounds so tight fisted and miserable and is taking advantage of the situation.

squiglet111 Wed 15-May-19 18:59:40

Kick him out. He would have to pay far more to rent his own places, pay his own bills and buy his food. The money he gives probably doesn't cover everything he uses. You will be no worse off if he leaves...

Loopytiles Wed 15-May-19 19:00:09

LTB

Lifeisabeach09 Wed 15-May-19 19:01:09

You are letting take the piss!
Stop being a mug and kick him out.

Boysey45 Wed 15-May-19 19:01:16

You need to tell him hes leaving now and he can go to his Mums or a Travelodge or something. Hes bleeding you totally dry my love. He should be paying half of all outgoings not £70.00! bin him off.

Lifeisabeach09 Wed 15-May-19 19:01:23

*him

thisisthetime Wed 15-May-19 19:01:25

My first LTB.

Bookworm4 Wed 15-May-19 19:01:37

Dear God that's disgraceful, why have you put up with this? He's earning £3000+ and is giving you £280 and thinks that covers everything? There's something amiss with him if he see you scrape by and he treats himself, the petrol money is beyond the pale. Tell him to use his savings for his new flat that he's moving into on Friday!!

Coffeeonthesofa Wed 15-May-19 19:01:45

He’s not a partner in any sense of the word, not paying a fair share, watching you struggle for money, not helping when your child is in hospital, never treating you even though he has more disposable income.
£70 a week to cover everything when he’s earning a decent wage that is “board level” money that a working teenager might contribute at home. He must be saving heaps of money, after 6 years more than enough for a deposit I would say, once he has enough I bet you won’t see him for dust, and you are enabling him to do so.
Get rid, if you have space get a lodger, they would pay you more and probably would be kinder to you.

KittiKat Wed 15-May-19 19:02:08

Did you know that you can have a lodger paying £144.23 per week without paying tax? See, told you he was onto a good deal.

slipperywhensparticus Wed 15-May-19 19:02:35

He is getting a discount on his csa bill because he lives with you and your children would you be entitled to tax credits without him?

Janus Wed 15-May-19 19:03:44

Absolutely sod that! My god the council tax deduction for one adult in the house would more or less cover his measly £70 a week, let alone other benefits you’d be entitled to as a single mother, food billl, less usage on gas, electricity, etc. I wouldn’t even let him begin to offer you more, eg £100 a week. It’s half or nothing on all bills, he’d still be able to save a fortune. But I couldn’t get past that he’s made you beg for the odd £10 when he’s so well off, horrible man.

Reynolds1212 Wed 15-May-19 19:04:45

It is a real post and I know I’m being an idiot I’ve just got used to it but I spoke to my friend at work and she was like it should be half and he’s taking the piss etc and it’s made me think.

Shouldbedoing Wed 15-May-19 19:04:56

I've only read the first page but he's costing you tax credits /single person discount on council tax etc because the state assumes that living as a family you share income

Iwantacookie Wed 15-May-19 19:05:25

He hasn't taken your dc on as his own. You come as a package. Dump him and find a real man whose prepared to support you and actually wants to.

squiglet111 Wed 15-May-19 19:07:06

You don't do his washing and cook his meals too do you?

If you do, you really need to get rid!

BurnedToast Wed 15-May-19 19:07:35

I can't imagine there is any point to you being in this relationship.

RandomMess Wed 15-May-19 19:08:19

Half of his £70 minimum will go on food for him, extra utilities and so on angry

He is costing you money rather than contributing!!

thegreatcrestednewt Wed 15-May-19 19:09:03

SACK HIM OFF.

He's supposed to love you. He's taking you for granted, the tight-fisted cocklodger.

wishingforapositiveyear Wed 15-May-19 19:09:31

That is an utterly insulting amount , leave him now you'd be better off financially and emotionally.

Bookworm4 Wed 15-May-19 19:09:39

He has other good qualities
No, no he has none, he's keeping you in poverty, resents your kids, gaslighting you, controls you, there's no good. Pack his bag and change the locks.

Kazzz65 Wed 15-May-19 19:10:46

Tell him to move out, he wouldn't get a room for £100 a week let alone food thrown in!!

Reynolds1212 Wed 15-May-19 19:11:01

Yeah he doesn’t get for the kids at Xmas I have to get it all he buys for his own children which has never sat right with me but says it’s off us both to all the kids I used to buy for his but stopped when he didn’t get anything for mine. My wage is ok but it’s hard still he keeps bringing up my £1400 saving I have when I say I have no money but I have to keep that for emergency if something broke or if my car broke so I never touch it and regret telling him I had it I just feel really resentful now that he never has to worry about getting to them end of the month and I just literally get to the end of the month

DeRigueurMortis Wed 15-May-19 19:11:13

He's not tight, he's a financial vampire.

You know you'd be better off without him don't you?

£70 is nothing. You'd save far more (council tax, food etc) if he wasn't living with you.

I'll bet he eats £70 in food - he's living rent and utility bill free whilst watching you struggle.

He's not got any redeeming qualities. He's a selfish prick whose using you.

Kick him out and as other posters have said he can see exactly what life £70 a week buys him (thought doubtless he'll find the money when pressed to find his own lifestyle).

Oh and he's not saving for a mortgage btw. After 6 years you're not married, he is still sponging of you and expecting petrol money.

The good news is that it seems you're in control of the rent and it's your home.

Find some bin bags, throw his stuff in them and kick them and him in the gutter where he belongs.

Thankssomuch Wed 15-May-19 19:11:40

He is taking the piss. I’m sorry, but you’re letting him. He must be putting stacks away for his future!

Giraffey1 Wed 15-May-19 19:11:59

He doesn’t sound kind, caring or responsible. I wouldn’t want to be with someone like that. It’s not a partnership you’ve got ....

squiglet111 Wed 15-May-19 19:14:05

What are you gonna do OP?

fedup21 Wed 15-May-19 19:14:25

So what are you going to do?

DowntonCrabby Wed 15-May-19 19:15:13

BIN. HIM. NOW

I wouldn’t trust him in a million years that he’s saving for you to both benefit from buying somewhere.

This level of tight/ selfishness is so unattractive envy <<not envy

LettuceP Wed 15-May-19 19:15:57

God that's awful! You need to get rid, he is an absolute twat. Don't be his mug for one more minute!

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo Wed 15-May-19 19:17:57

He sounds awful OP. You'd probably be financially better off without him. I can't abide meanness. DH and I have always shared finances so we both have equal amounts of spare cash regardless of who was the higher earner. I guess children from previous relationships make it more awkward, but still, he's just mean. Don't waste any more time on him - he's not a partner.

TheQueef Wed 15-May-19 19:18:45

He's just a leech.
You are actually paying towards his upkeep.
I would hazard a guess that he negs you constantly telling you no one would be interested in you with three kids?

pallisers Wed 15-May-19 19:20:21

Financial vampire is a great way to describe him. How could you want to have sex or have a laugh or share your troubles with someone who is so clearly only out for himself?

Get rid of him. My guess is as soon as he has his deposit saved for his house, he'll realise "the relationship is going nowhere" and move out having used you to save his money.

OhamIreally Wed 15-May-19 19:20:50

OMG Slippery is right! I've been trying to work out how he's paying so little for his kids and he's claiming a discount for your three!
Get rid, get CSA onto your useless ex (first one smile), claim all your single person discounts.

Don't tell me you lose your child benefit as a result of his salary?
Good luck.

mamaofboyzz Wed 15-May-19 19:21:17

Get rid that's shocking I wouldn't dream of asking my partner for petrol money to go to the hospital. Sounds to me that he's saving for his own future

StrongTea Wed 15-May-19 19:22:23

You are worth far better than him, he is just taking advantage of you. The good thing is it is your house, and given how little he pays you won’t miss the money when he goes.

MrPebbles Wed 15-May-19 19:23:17

He is an absolute piss taker.

As a near 40 year old woman, with a wide range of friendships, couples, I have NEVER heard anything like this.

He is saving literally thousands every month, of which you'll never see a penny. But wants you to use your own (small) savings and leave you destitute and begging him for help?

What a cunt.

Beautiful3 Wed 15-May-19 19:24:07

Seriously what is the point of him? kick him out. Claim tax credits to help out your house hold income.

FagashJackie Wed 15-May-19 19:24:17

Not normal. Asking you for petrol money is beyond the pale.

lablablab Wed 15-May-19 19:27:09

I was shocked and disgusted at his cheeky and selfish behaviour but then I got to the end about him asking for the petrol money for driving you to see your son in hospital... shock

Please don't ever get a mortgage with him OP, he'll be financially abusive for sure. In fact, just LTB. He won't change.

pickletickled Wed 15-May-19 19:27:58

This is definitely not normal. He is a tight greedy freeloading fucker!
ILoveMaxiBondi - that jumped straight out to me too.
If that's true then he's selling his own kids short too. Should tell you all you need to know OP
I couldn't be with a man like this.
I have a decent wage, my dh earns more than twice what I do (no shared dc nor dependants) we share things, wage proportionately like bills etc but he pays for days out and holiday etc... He would literally give me his last penny if I needed it.
Even fuckwits who I have the misfortune of having as exes didn't behave in this manner and both were controlling asses.
Get rid, you can do better. Even on your own you'd do better.

IronManisnotDead Wed 15-May-19 19:28:16

Yes he is tight although he is not responsible for paying for your kids. I would tell him to move out and you will not be moving in when he buys 'The House he was saving for'

Go on EntitledTo and see if you are claiming everything you are entitled too, go to CSA and claim for your children.

As for your Cocklodger, are you sure he is earning as much as you say because he is paying very little for his own children if he is. And if he is earning this and contributing very little for his own kids then that speaks volumes. You might be skint OP but you are doing an amazing job without him, get rid of him.

Lost5stone Wed 15-May-19 19:29:30

Get rid of him! He pays £60 a week for his kids?! Massive red flag there, I'd be tempted to notify CMS to be honest.

Nice partners dont watch you suffer financially whilst they sit on over £2500 a month.

The way he treats your kids is awful too. 6 years together and he doesnt even buy them bday gifts??

CoraPirbright Wed 15-May-19 19:29:51

Words fail me....to ask you for petrol money to go to the hospital...then backtrack and say that you are the one at fault...... He is utterly VILE.

Please please get rid of this cunt (and, while we’re at it, why is the bio-dad not paying any money? That needs sorting out pronto!)

fifipop185 Wed 15-May-19 19:29:52

Nope, he would have to go. He's just using you and your good nature as somewhere comfy and cheap to stay. Don't waste another second of your life on this user.

Shadow1234 Wed 15-May-19 19:30:15

Agree with others - kick him out. You will be better off on your own - mentally and financially. (if you can get help with certain benefits)

ShellieEllie Wed 15-May-19 19:30:33

And you've let him get away with this for 6 years??? Blimey you really need to get rid. Being unnecessarily tight is such an unattractive trait - what exactly are his redeeming features?

category12 Wed 15-May-19 19:31:29

Get rid of him, if you worked it out fully, you'd find he's costing you money.

Living with someone shouldn't make you worse off.

Crazycat16 Wed 15-May-19 19:32:49

How have you put up with this for six years? shock

happyhillock Wed 15-May-19 19:34:18

I spend more than £70 a week just on food for two of us, he's needing a kick into the real world, he's not responsible for your kid's, are you getting child support from their dad?, he's taking you for a mug, chuck him.

Nofunkingworriesmate Wed 15-May-19 19:34:27

Get a lodger
Ltb
Asking you for money to drive you to see your son in hospital is the absolute pits, for that alone I would ltb

GarnierBBCream Wed 15-May-19 19:34:28

Oh, ffs! Tell him to go! 'I'm tired of subsidising your tight arse. You need to leave by close of play next week. We're through. Find someone else to scrounge off.'

And then don't date at all until you do the Freedom Programme and learn to spot users like this deadweight.

There's nothing to save here, he's a leech.

Afternoonteadelight Wed 15-May-19 19:36:15

What exactly is this piss taking, freeloading cocklodger bringing to the table?
His £70 pw wouldn’t even get him a room in a houseshare never mind cover his utilities .
Put your kids first and show him the door. I really believe that some women will put up with anything for the sake of having a “dp”

eddielizzard Wed 15-May-19 19:36:31

Well I think he's costing you money, he's a cocklodger, and mean with it. I would be asking him to leave. I think you'll find life much easier without him around.

ncforareason1 Wed 15-May-19 19:36:32

Why are you calling him your partner?

At best he’s just a boyfriend at worst he’s a cocklodger.

Which is he?

clairemcnam Wed 15-May-19 19:38:18

OP when he tells you you would have to pay for your kids whether he was living there or not. Tell him he would have to pay the real cost for food, rent and bills if he was not living with you. So why does he think if he is living with you he can pay board rather than the real cost, as if he was a teenager living with his parents?

Afternoonteadelight Wed 15-May-19 19:38:32

A single mother of 3 having to borrow off her mother meanwhile her dp is knee deep in savings. . Why have you put up with this for so long?

notapizzaeater Wed 15-May-19 19:42:16

How much was he paying before he moved in ? Has he always been this tight?

Regardless of him being a first class prick why is the kids dad not paying anything ?

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet Wed 15-May-19 19:42:22

This isn't the kind of problem which can be solved by better communication. This kind of meanness of spirit is who he is and he sees you as an opportunity to have an easy life with very few outgoings.
Just get rid of him. Don't give him notice, throw him out now. The pain of paying for a hotel with be therapeutic for him!

SignedUpJust4This Wed 15-May-19 19:42:24

Wow what a catch. Your life would be easier without this selfish tigharse.

Butterymuffin Wed 15-May-19 19:42:31

If I bring up money it all kicks off he says not his kids and that I would have to pay it all if he wasn’t here

So tell him that's fine, you've worked out now you will actually be better off that way so he should go. He will suddenly backtrack then, as he knows he's on a good deal, but don't give in.

aweedropofsancerre Wed 15-May-19 19:43:28

yep agree with others he is a cocklodger.....any person who thinks they can pay 70 a week and suggest 'the kids aren't mine' therefore you would be paying anyway is an arsehole. I am assuming you may be entitled to support if your on a low wage and single person council tax. He has used you to save up his money for a nice deposit....I would be chucking him out in his ear...

SignedUpJust4This Wed 15-May-19 19:46:26

Beware OP. There are professional cocklodgers out there who deliberately seek out single mums such as yourself to sponge off

user1486131602 Wed 15-May-19 19:47:08

£70 a week for food! Bonus, mine only paid £32 this month for a grown up kids!
As far a hubby is concerned, take him to the supermarket and show him what things cost!

mcmooberry Wed 15-May-19 19:49:15

OMG I could hardly read to the end of your post!! He is a disgrace, please ask him to leave. This is not normal. Don't believe for one second he is saving for a mortgage for you all. Meanness/freeloading on this scale is an unattractive a quality as is possible to imagine. He will never change, make him not your problem, the sooner the better. xx

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail Wed 15-May-19 19:50:23

He’s using you to stockpile all his money for himself. He’s saving himself rent, utilities, you name it by getting it all for £270. He’s awful.

Turpy Wed 15-May-19 19:50:46

I don’t understand how or why you’ve been happy to allow this for so long. It’s unfair on your kids.

Why would you want someone who is so selfish and unkind around your kids?

lablablab Wed 15-May-19 19:51:47

So his outgoings are just £70 a week?? £70 for food, utility bills, council tax, tv license, water, gas, electric, internet and rent?? He's laughing he's scrounging head off! angry

Middersweekly Wed 15-May-19 19:58:25

Agreed it’s taking the piss. He’s lodging With you at minimal personal cost to himself. Suggesting he’s saving (how lovely for him). He pays you half of the rent, council tax and bills or he moves out!

Troels Wed 15-May-19 20:02:35

Kick him out and dob him in to his ex about what he's really earning see if you can grab a payslip, Sounds like he likes to take financial advantage of women. Scumbag.

littlemeitslyn Wed 15-May-19 20:02:42

😱😱😱 Ltb

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Wed 15-May-19 20:04:42

You do know that when he tells you he's saving up for a mortgage deposit that he'll purchase the property in his name only don't you. That'll be really nice for his kids. - And your kids will have been the ones to go without so that his kids could have it!

But never mind, you've got yourself a high earning boyfriend!!!!!

You need to read the thread about single mothers being targeted. Can someone link to it please, I don't know how.

junebirthdaygirl Wed 15-May-19 20:07:07

I think asking for money to bring you to the hospital should be the straw that breaks the camels back. Even a neighbour would drop a mom to a hospital to see her sick child. He has gone too far and that's good as it finally shows you how horrible he is.
Use your anger from that to send him packing. He thinks he has you where he wants you but come on fight back and you will not know yourself.
You are young and have a good future without this leech. Shock him by showing him the door and taking back your own power. He deserves to be out on his ear. He has pushed his luck.

MargaretOfAnjou Wed 15-May-19 20:07:25

Get rid!

LannieDuck Wed 15-May-19 20:08:47

he keeps bringing up my £1400 saving

...and how much does he have in savings, out of interest?

Like a PP, I'm also interested in whether he contributes to the housework in any way?

fedup21 Wed 15-May-19 20:10:43

How much has HE got in savings?!

He is treating you like a cash cow-you really need to get rid.

mike3 Wed 15-May-19 20:12:21

What a bastard.

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