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Should he wear his wedding ring?

(75 Posts)
Raspberrytrifle92 Tue 14-May-19 22:52:12

My sister and husband fell out today because he’s told her that he doesn’t want to wear his ring because it’s irritating and he doesn’t like jewellery and has never worn any before. She was upset and they only got married last week and got back from honeymoon. It’s like he doesn’t understand the emotional said and what it means. I’m not sure what to say to my sister but was wondering if anyone on here has ever been told that their hubby doesn’t want to wear their ring. He’s only tried to wear it for a few days and he never said he didn’t like rings before they got married.

Podemos Wed 15-May-19 05:49:32

I was married to a man who never took his ring off (as far as I knew). He had several affairs. Life was pretty miserable.

I'm now married to a wonderfully faithful man who doesn't like to wear his ring. Couldn't be happier.

HalyardHitch Wed 15-May-19 05:50:02

Neither me nor DH wear our rings. It's no big deal. However, for your sister I guess it's the disappointment that she expected her husband to wear one and now he's not. She'll get used to the idea

SallyWD Wed 15-May-19 05:53:52

My parents have been marred over 50 years and my dad never wore a ring for the same reasons. It's never been an issue. I don't think my husband would mind if I didn't wear mine.

FixTheBone Wed 15-May-19 06:04:09

Complete non-issue.

I actually didn't mind wearing mine, until I got fat(ter) and it wouldn't fit comfortably, I know wear it on a chain around my neck, hasn't been removed for 10 years.

Incidentally, it also works better for my job having to wash my hands every 14 seconds and not having a ring in the way.

LellyMcKelly Wed 15-May-19 06:30:30

I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass, tbh. It’s his body. He can wear what he wants on it.

Toddlerteaplease Wed 15-May-19 06:41:45

My parents have been happily married for over 40 years. My dad had never worn his. And my mums ring isn't her actual ring because it had to be cut off years ago. It doesn't make any difference!

category12 Wed 15-May-19 06:43:42

How does he feel about her not wearing hers?

Lozzy25 Wed 15-May-19 06:45:50

Me and my DP are getting married next month and he's already said that he won't wear his ring on a day to day basis (he hates jewellery) and his job makes it awkward to wear a ring! I honestly don't mind, I will wear mine but it doesn't matter to me if he wears it or not... we are still married at the end of the day smile

Widowodiw Wed 15-May-19 06:48:54

This would seriously piss me off. Perhaps so because my husband was religious in wearing it. He has since passed away and I wear his ring on my finger alongside my wedding ring.

Perhaps they can come up with a compromise ? He wears it out for social occasions/ at weekend when they are together? In time
He will get used to wearing it.

divafever99 Wed 15-May-19 06:49:01

My dh wore his wedding ring for 2 days before it annoyed him and he had never worn since. I don't even wear mine as my fingers are too fat since having dc! Doesn't even occur to me as being a problem.

NoParticularPattern Wed 15-May-19 06:50:17

My husband has a ring, but never wears it unless we are going out (rare!!). It’s really not that important. At the end of the day it’s a bit of metal. If he’d decided after a week that he didn’t much like the idea of marriage and that he couldn’t keep to his vows then that might be something to get worked up about. Not wanting to wear a ring because he finds it uncomfortable isn’t really up there with things to be pissed off about if I’m honest.

Timeless19 Wed 15-May-19 06:52:40

My husband doesn’t wear his ring, doesn’t bother me. Wearing a ring isn’t proof of love or fidelity.

category12 Wed 15-May-19 06:54:07

If he hates the idea of her not wearing hers, then he needs to try to get used to wear his and then it's worth getting pissed off about.

If he's genuinely not bothered if she wears it or not, then meh.

RottnestFerry Wed 15-May-19 07:04:46

Mine lasted until the end of the honeymoon and then came off. I liked the idea of it but hated wearing it. My wife doesn't mind at all. Men wearing jewellery is unusual in my family and hers though which may have influenced my decision not to persevere and get used to it.

stucknoue Wed 15-May-19 07:28:58

Dh only puts it on for special occasions, he wears gloves for work and it irritates

CherryPavlova Wed 15-May-19 07:31:46

My husband hasn’t even got a wedding ring. He thinks jewellery isfor women (apart from a watch and cuff links). Why does it matter?

DaisiesAreOurSilver Wed 15-May-19 07:33:17

DH didn't have one because he had a signet ring he didn't wear because it drove him crazy. Some people just don't get on with rings.

ptumbi Wed 15-May-19 07:34:21

TWO threads about it? You are really over involved, OP.

For the record, I worked with someone whose husband 'wouldn't let her' wear rings on her right hand. He 'didn't like it', so she didn't hmm angry

His/her hand, his/ her choice.

You can fuck off out of it.

YouLikeTheBadOnesToo Wed 15-May-19 07:40:30

I commented on your other thread too. Your sister needs to calm down. A ring is really just a silly tradition (much like changing your name, which your sister chose not to do). Rings (or the same surname) don’t make you anymore married, just tell your sister to let it go.

RottnestFerry Wed 15-May-19 09:05:20

* Rings (or the same surname) don’t make you anymore married*

They do make it more obvious that you are married though. Some people like that.

overnightangel Wed 15-May-19 09:11:09

I presume the first reply is a wind up yawn

YouLikeTheBadOnesToo Wed 15-May-19 09:28:16

RottnestFerry oh I fully agree, my husband and I did both. But in the other thread the OP started under a different user name she told us that her sister chose not to change her name (an entirely valid choice). I was more trying to point out that if her sister wants her husband to respect her choices on how she publicly demonstrates the marriage, she should extend the same courtesy to him.

newnameold Wed 15-May-19 09:33:59

I presume both threads were 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whoops75 Wed 15-May-19 09:37:55

No, he shouldn’t have to.

My friends dh got a Celtic band tattoo on his wedding finger because he didn’t like rings.

I’m not sentimental so it’s not the same for me, I hope they find a compromise.

NoNewsisGood Wed 15-May-19 09:47:01

DH mentioned not being keen on jewellery when we were discussing marriage and true, in the over a decade we'd known each other he never once wore any sort of accessory, even a watch. Why would he suddenly want to start wearing one?

I used to wear more rings (pre DC) when dressing up for work or something, but I like to choose what and when and couldn't think that I'd have to wear the same thing every day. We decided neither of us were keen so didn't bother.

No reflection on our marriage other than that we talked about it before and listened to what each other wanted. Only think that makes us married is the certificate, not a ring, a fancy dress, name changing, etc. None of that other stuff actually means anything to anyone outside your marriage. As said above, if the marriage is not good, it's not good and people will cheat whilst wearing a wedding ring, sleep with someone wearing a wedding ring and also do those things when married or with someone they know is married, ring or no ring.

Poor guy, she should have listened to him beforehand when he said 'no' but in a nice way so as not to upset her. Tell her to sort her views out on what marriage actually is. hmm

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