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Unexpectedly pregnant very early on in relationship!

(287 Posts)
penguinsmarching Mon 22-Apr-19 22:33:43

Earlier I took a test (more like 5) and well I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how to feel, I've only been with my bf for a few months, I already have two DD's and never really saw myself having anymore. I just can't believe it, I'm on the pill but I was sick over a month ago for quite a while, perhaps that effected it. I've yet to even tell my youngest that I'm in a relationship, oldest knows but hasn't met him, the rest of my family haven't either some know about him some don't. Then there's telling him, I don't even know how he'll react

gobbynorthernbird Mon 22-Apr-19 22:39:14

Do you want to continue this pregnancy?

Wheresmyvagina Mon 22-Apr-19 22:40:19

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Rottiemum4102 Mon 22-Apr-19 22:40:55

You need to let this sink in and decide how you feel first of all. Then deal with partner etc.

Fiveredbricks Mon 22-Apr-19 22:44:54

How old are your other children OP?

penguinsmarching Mon 22-Apr-19 22:47:26

My other DC are 8 and 20, it will certainly come as a shock to them. I do think I want to continue with this pregnancy, personally I'm not sure I could with not continuing

MondeoFan Mon 22-Apr-19 22:48:36

I would say to take a couple of days to mull it over, don't be making any decisions right now. I wouldn't worry which family members/friends know about him or not, none of that matters really. I got pregnant 4 months into a relationship and hadn't even met any of his family, he had met mine.

Ellenborough Mon 22-Apr-19 22:51:59

Why is your first instinct to continue with the pregnancy when you never saw yourself having more kids, your age gaps are huge and you were actively trying NOT to get PG with a bloke you don’t know very well yet? That seems an odd first response to have.

Ellenborough Mon 22-Apr-19 22:53:23

When you say you took a test earlier, you mean earlier today?

Bittern11 Mon 22-Apr-19 22:54:24

Why?? Agree with Ellenbourough.

Think about your existing dc. How will they feel? It’s a lot of change. ‘Oh, mummy is pregnant, and you’ve never met the daddy!’

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes Mon 22-Apr-19 22:56:29

It's not really the best idea to have another in this situation
Going on your other thread regarding home schooling your daughter does this mean you don't work or would be giving up work? How will you afford another baby?

Namechange8471 Mon 22-Apr-19 22:58:48

You'd be mad to continue this pregnancy. Think of the kids you already have!

penguinsmarching Mon 22-Apr-19 23:01:29

Yes it was earlier today, I'm not sure why that's my first instinct really. Whilst I couldn't see myself having more children, I can't see myself having an abortion. Age gap between them is very big because I had my first at a young age, I then met someone, got married and then had DD2, we divorced a few years ago

penguinsmarching Mon 22-Apr-19 23:04:16

I don't work at the moment

WhenISnappedAndFarted Mon 22-Apr-19 23:05:37

Can you afford to have another one?

You need to do what's best for you. Take a few days to think it through properly.

It's alright for any of us to suggest an abortion however this situation isn't ours so make sure it's something you are sure about if you do go ahead with an abortion.

Bookworm4 Mon 22-Apr-19 23:07:50

20, 8 & a newborn; 3 kids to 3 dads, one of whom you barely know, none of your family know, you're unemployed. There are little positives here. I certainly wouldn't go ahead.

LaurieMarlow Mon 22-Apr-19 23:08:44

If you want to keep the baby, you can make that work too. It may not be conventional to get pregnant so soon, but it’s not a disaster.

CupcakeDrama Mon 22-Apr-19 23:10:10

You barely know him. You could tell him and he does a runner so bare that in mind. Whatever you decide go into it that you will probably be doing it alone.

julensaor Mon 22-Apr-19 23:11:09

not a great situation, but reading your posts you are keeping your baby. Start by telling him, has he any other children?

Ellenborough Mon 22-Apr-19 23:11:11

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SarahAndQuack Mon 22-Apr-19 23:12:29

Did you know that being sick when you're on the pill might compromise its effects? I'm guessing yes?

I think this is very personal, but I know with some people (me included), decisions are sometimes a matter of what we don't do, not what we do do. Is it possible you were half hoping to get pregnant?

I would think, if not, then you'd have taken the morning after pill and you'd have been taking tests before now.

So: if that's the case, then face up to it, and work out how things will go. You don't say why you're not currently working (off sick, studying, etc.), but that seems to me the big one to tackle, alongside talking to your 8 year old who's still at an age where it will be a major upheaval if you do have another baby.

Ellenborough Mon 22-Apr-19 23:13:37

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SarfE4sticated Mon 22-Apr-19 23:14:28

What do you think of the dad op, is he nice? Could you see your relationship lasting? Would he a good parent to your 8 year old? He might be a keeper an all might be wonderful - what does your gut say?

howmanyleftfeet Mon 22-Apr-19 23:14:43


OP please ask for this to be moved to relationships - or anywhere outside of AIBU.

There is an unspoken rule on MN that you don't tell a woman what do to about a surprise pregnancy. You certainly don't tell a mother of a wanted pregnancy (even if after the fact) that she shouldn't have it.

AIBU is toxic. Please ignore the posters here telling you what to do,

It is your body, your decision.

If you want to keep the baby, that's 100% your decision, and the right thing for you to do.

Whoops75 Mon 22-Apr-19 23:15:39

It’s up to you.
This will be your baby nobody else will shoulder the responsibility.
You have done it twice, do YOU want to have another child?

I wouldn’t go back to the start if I had been a parent 20yrs.

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