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Anyone have to live with a family member the dont like?

(9 Posts)
needamoan Sun 15-Jul-07 20:44:44

I do and I hate it.

I am fully grown and due to financial circumstances I have to live with my mum. I hate it I want to leave right now but sadly cant. A series of bad choices left me here but I cant change that now.

I have a son by a partner who doesnt live with us. We are currently looking at moving in together but who knows how long that will take. I get really mad at my mum for just being her because she is arrogant, thinks she is always right, Snoops, constantly interferes, asks me questions and then gathers evidence against me says some pretty poisonous stuff, undermines me with my son is unhelpful unsupportive etc. I am fed up of feeling bullied my my own mother. Mothers are meant to be supportive and caring. With mine all I get is misery.

I am mad at my boyfriend for putting me in this position. I shouldnt be living with her- I should be living with him. He should be sharing all the responsibilities that I have on my own. We are in a complicated situation but I am fed up of making allowances for him. Sometimes I feel like such a mug like Im being made a fool of -fed excuses whilst he is getting the best of both worlds. I want us to be together but sometimes I dont know why. I know I love him and he would do anything I ask and he loves our son and feels stuck in the situation.

Just wanted to get it off my chest.

rattleskuttle Mon 16-Jul-07 09:44:59

hi. i have had to live in some difficult situations in the past so i know you must be really fed up.

how old is your ds?

can you earn some money so that you don't have to rely on other people?

you might find you get on much better with your mum when you're not living in her house anymore.

just bumping this for you really. hope you get someone here with some good advice

needamoan Mon 16-Jul-07 22:44:06

Lets say I can tolerate her when I dont live at home.

I have savings and work part time so that I can spend time with my son. Im paid quite well but live in an area of extortionate renting prices. Have tried to rent and been refused many times due to not earning enough. If I worked full time I would be able to afford to but dont need to spend time with my son he has SN.Ds is 2 by the way.

elasticsortinghatstand Mon 16-Jul-07 22:48:57

awful for you. i had to move back too, very hard.

expatinscotland Mon 16-Jul-07 22:51:27


It's bad enough just visiting.

rattleskuttle Tue 17-Jul-07 08:34:37

i live in an area with extortionate rental prices too. while the dcs are small we moved into social housing. we'll move out as soon as we can. is there anything like that available in your area?

LoveMyGirls Tue 17-Jul-07 08:37:08

You said he will do anything you ask so that should mean you will be living with him soon? Hopefully this is just a short term thing and you will soon be living a life you want to live, hang in there.

needamoan Tue 17-Jul-07 19:24:26

Yes lovemygirls he is going for an interview this week for a much better paid job. Fingers crossed he gets it then we will be well on our way as long as he doesnt start delaying.

My mum is so sly and manipulative she always puts me down but in subtle ways like suggesting that my son behaves much better for her than he does for me. "he doesnt do that with me" or "hes only like that because your home." When in fact he behaves the same with both of us if not better with me. When she is in charge he does exactly the same and she will say "he doesnt usually do that with me" Yeah- way to build my confidence Mum. Actually he is very well behaved even though he has sn. People actually comment on it. She also does this thing where she asks loads of nosey questions that really are none of her business (stuff about me and my partner) but then use that information she gathered to build a case against me. I have stopped telling her stuff now but she still manages to trick some out of me- when Im fooled into thinking we can have a normal Mother daughter conversation.
Why cant I have a normal non neurotic mother??

needamoan Tue 17-Jul-07 19:26:13

Rattleskuttle-No chance of social housing in my area. Waiting lists are way too long.

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