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Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

(1000 Posts)
Crustaceans Tue 09-Apr-19 19:13:40

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

lifegoes Tue 09-Apr-19 20:57:11

I know @ItsAMiracle2015 I'm just gutted. I over invested in him. I really did! Texting he was everything I've been looking for. Hence why I wanted to meet him to ensure this was going to be good.

Never expected a 😏👋🏻 reply

likeridingabike Tue 09-Apr-19 20:59:39

You have to cut them loose lifegoes some men just don't want to meet, I still exchange the occasional message with a bloke I had one brief date with 6 months ago who still claims he wants to see me again when he's in a better place, there's always something work or family issues, always an excuse. It's not worth it.

ItsAMiracle2015 Tue 09-Apr-19 21:00:08

Just an arsehole. Who wanted an ego boost and likely has something going on with someone else hence his phone 'dying' all the time. It's proper shit. And I'd be gutted too. But be sad, drink some wine and dust yourself off. You're the prize!!

shitwithsugaron Tue 09-Apr-19 21:03:11

Found you all!

life he is a monumental cockwomble, you deserve more

crackofdoom Tue 09-Apr-19 21:09:22

What does that emoticon mean, lifegoes?

lifegoes Tue 09-Apr-19 21:10:01

Awww thank you @ItsAMiracle2015 I do feel shit. But I do think he has others, he also had a dig at me about other men texting me.

Thank you shit

@likeridingabike I hate it when it's your choice, you always question if it was the right choice.

lifegoes Tue 09-Apr-19 21:11:19

@crackofdoom well I had explained why it needed to stop. He replied with his part and I said I do wish you the best 😘

He replied with 😏👋🏻. So I'm assuming "doubt it face and bye"

unique1986 Tue 09-Apr-19 21:12:14

I spoke to someone recently who s had terrible luck online dating for years.
So they have now decided to try dating women instead lol
I actually have thought about this very occasionally but would be too scared to message anyone as they'd know I'm looking for men..
Also just being curious isn't really enough right?

MrDrummer Tue 09-Apr-19 21:16:47

@lifegoes

When someone refuses to meet, I always work on the basis that it was never going to happen. These days, quite a red flag for me is someone saying they have never been on an OLD date before, especially if they have been on OLD for a while.

@TooOldForThis67

< Takes a bow > ;)

crackofdoom Tue 09-Apr-19 21:17:17

unique that seems a bit weird unless you actually, genuinely fancy women? Unless you take the point of view that we're actually all more flexible than we think? I mean, the thought had crossed my mind, but I think it's a bit insulting to lesbians to go "Well, I'd obviously prefer men, but they're really crap, so I thought I'd settle for a woman instead".

lifegoes Tue 09-Apr-19 21:21:54

@MrDrummer I'm still quite new to this OLD as some of the girls will tell you.

But I really thought oh he's so different, we just need to meet. But the two cancellations and promises to sort it. Never materialised

unique1986 Tue 09-Apr-19 21:29:23

@Crack
I know what you mean.
But maybe I'm attracted to some even tho I'm not sure what way it would go.
E.g. it's one thing to enjoy lesbian films and tv another to live it in real life.
I just don't care as long as it's good acting and drama. But yeh makes you curious.

MrDrummer Tue 09-Apr-19 21:34:07

@lifegoes Unfortunately, rule number 4 has applied in your case.

lifegoes Tue 09-Apr-19 21:35:02

Oh I know @MrDrummer

I sometimes wonder if my profile just attracts these BS men.

WarIsPeace Tue 09-Apr-19 21:38:38

I think you can appreciate than another woman is attractive without actually wanting them though. Most of us have an occasional girl crush I think, but for me, the penis bit is a bit of a deal breaker, ie essential for me. Plus to be frank I wouldn't know what to do with a fanny that isn't my own grin <lowers the tone>

MrDrummer Tue 09-Apr-19 21:39:30

Happy to review it, if you like, @lifegoes

Having said that, I can't really imagine how a profile could attract BS blokes. I think its just too easy to hide behind a couple of pictures and some text. If someone invented a bullshit detector, OLD apps would be decimated. That goes for men and woman, unfortunately.

lifegoes Tue 09-Apr-19 21:56:21

Yeah I agree @MrDrummer tbh I do wonder if sometimes I just expect too much. But then Is wanting to meet someone too much ?

ccgirr Tue 09-Apr-19 21:58:07

lol war is. I’m with you. Attractive sensual but need a cock! And the other bit 🤣

MyOldBrainStoppedWorking Tue 09-Apr-19 22:03:55

Thanks for the new thread. Great title.
Especially as Mr Stubble has said he would like to meet for a drink. However, he hasn't said when.
I suggested this weekend but he isn't available. And replied "we'll definitely get something sorted".

I'd like to say I'm not going to hang around waiting for him. But he's my only iron.

MrDrummer Tue 09-Apr-19 22:09:02

@lifegoes It's not expecting too much to meet someone, but perhaps expecting too much of online dating itself. There are a lot of reasons for ppl to use OLD and only one if them is to meet people for dating. Genuine people are definitely in the minority. In fact, I am giving up for the moment. I can't even get anybody to talk to me these days. smile

ccgirr Tue 09-Apr-19 22:13:25

Drummer - find that so hard to believe as you seem so charismatic unless you in some remote backwater with no one near?!?

lifegoes Tue 09-Apr-19 22:20:02

But he seemed to keen in fact his actual first lot of messages were about where we would meet etc. Even after he couldn't the first time he was so apologetic and tried to arrange the second (which he then cancelled) am I just being naive here @MrDrummer

StealthNinjaMum Tue 09-Apr-19 22:24:14

@MrDrummer I don't understand that, you write so well on here that I can't believe you don't come across well on old messaging. I have had some really unimaginative guys approach me so I'm sure you would stand out.

@lifegoes no you don't expect too much. I can only assume he was married and/ or had lots of irons on the go and was choosing. What a twat.

Mythologies Tue 09-Apr-19 22:25:31

Hi all - sorry about the flakiness that is going on sad
My date with Mr Games is still on for tomorrow night!
This is all the fault of *Hairy and *Bat and my random PoF profile grin
Very tired and overworked, but going anyway and will update ... even if there is nothing to report.
Wish me luck ... have zero exceptions as we have hardly spoken and his pictures and profile are minimal - but meeting in a very public place with my bus stop (or uber) right outside.

MrDrummer Tue 09-Apr-19 22:26:50

@ccgirr I have literally messaged everyone regularly online that I fancy in my area on PoF and either the convo has died within a couple of messages or got no response. Always read the profile and always write a personal message with some reference to the OP's profile.

Thank-you for the compliment, though. Just can't seem to standout from the crowd. Taken my PoF profile off line for the moment. I don't want to become part of the furniture, if you know what I mean.

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