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I am Onit, hear me ROAR. Thread 5!

(348 Posts)
onitlikeacarbonnet Wed 27-Mar-19 12:36:32

“I am not afraid of the storms for I am learning to sail my ship” Louisa May Alcott.

I was looking for something to call this thread and came across this quote.
It’s not entirely true; yet, but almost 3 years and 5 threads later, I actually almost believe I can do this.

But I still like the last thread title as it still feels fitting.
I’ll save the LMA quote for the next one.

Here’s a link to the last thread.
Hope you all find me, my amazing friends star

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3211292-I-am-onit-hear-me-ROAR-occasionally

Trethew Thu 19-Mar-20 18:09:45

So glad you’re ok

Aaahhhbump Sat 14-Mar-20 11:29:07

There's a reason they say "may you live in interesting times" as curse.

Long live boring!

Freeshavocado Sat 14-Mar-20 10:40:01

So glad to hear life is 'boring' onit !

AcrossthePond55 Fri 13-Mar-20 21:30:53

But life with regards to him is pretty boring.

There are times when boring is good. This is one of those times!

SunshineCake Fri 13-Mar-20 17:36:58

I for one like to hear how you are doing and to make sure you are okay. Could you ask the twat if he's set up for keeping the children for the next month if they get it. If he says no then they don't go..

Turnedovernewleaf Fri 13-Mar-20 17:01:33

Was also thinking of you. Lovely to read your update xx

onitlikeacarbonnet Fri 13-Mar-20 15:33:39

Hi sunshine
Things are ok. Not much to report.
Having a paranoid moment about the dc going to their dads this weekend in case the c word gets worse and they are stuck there.
But life with regards to him is pretty boring.
Im sorry I’ve not been on mn much. I guess I don’t want to bore anyone with my mundanities.
I hope everyone is well and has enough loo roll and soap grin x

SunshineCake Fri 13-Mar-20 15:16:08

How are things @onitlikeacarbonnet?

SunshineCake Mon 24-Feb-20 21:46:14

Another person thinking of you, @onitlikeacarbonnet.

Mix56 Thu 20-Feb-20 07:59:04

Onit, how are you ? How are things with dc & bf ?

Freeshavocado Sun 16-Feb-20 08:53:21

Hope the weather isn't too bad up near you Onit smile

Thanosthenutsack Sat 15-Feb-20 18:43:30

How are things Onit?

ThePluckOfTheCoward Sat 04-Jan-20 11:09:51

So, LCB would rather spend money on a laptop that DD doesn't need or want rather than put the money towards her residential school trip, or give her the cash so she can use it for something she does want or need. He thinks he is so clever but the truth is he cannot see the damage he is doing to his relationship with the DC. He thinks he knows everything, the truth is he knows fuck all. It is so telling how your DS has already worked out when he can say No to the visits to LCB, that speaks volumes.

Clutterbugsmum Thu 02-Jan-20 17:54:27

Unfortunately LCB is too selfish to realise that your dc will not remember the expensive gifts he bought, but they will remember that he bought them 'gifts' that they were not allowed to use.

Mix56 Thu 02-Jan-20 16:27:17

Smart boy

onitlikeacarbonnet Thu 02-Jan-20 15:37:04

No, he didn’t ask what I was getting them. Dd says he’s going to swap it for a laptop. Which she doesn’t want. Or need. Because she’s got an iPad confused
He bought a laptop for ds but as he’s not allowed to bring it home it’s only going to be used 4 days a month and that’s if they’re in the house. Which invariably they are not. So 2 laptops which won’t be used. Ds already moans that they’re always going places and he just wants to chill. He’s not outdoorsy at all. Much more of a nerdy homebody.
It’s so frustrating because dd has a residential after easter which he’s not contributing to.
Ah, fuck it. He’s a dick. And an idiot if he thinks he’s doing anything to hurt me. He’s hurting ds and dd but they’ll disengage soon enough and he’ll be left with nothing.
Ds was working out that next Christmas he’d be 11 and that would be the last time he’d have to go to his dads.
The sad thing is he does want to spend time with his dad but he doesn’t want to go just for the sake of it. He says if I’m at home, why does he have to go when there’s plenty of times when I’m not and that’s enough.

Mix56 Thu 02-Jan-20 13:05:07

a bit confused, but did he know you were getting an iPad ? I assume not, can you return it ?

onitlikeacarbonnet Thu 02-Jan-20 08:18:04

Happy new year everyone.
Things still difficult with LCB and I’ve not had the dc at home for much of the holidays. Just the way my shifts fell and no term time honoured in December (the joy of retail).
As far as LCB is concerned, his antics still confuse and upset me. But I’m doing my best to ignore it. It’s not easy though.
I find it difficult to navigate the dc (mostly DS) through it because I don’t understand him or his actions most of the time and struggle to translate for the dcs. Though I do my best to point out the oddness of his behaviour.
The latest example: Dd asked Santa for an iPad. A big ask but Santa got one on a 12 month interest free deal. As has been the case since Xmas1, when I was told he wouldn’t be contributing and that anything he bought would remain in his house, I didn’t discuss my planned purchases with him. He didn’t contact me either. The dc wrote their letters to Santa at home. I asked if they’d talked to their dad about them and they said they only get a couple of gifts from Santa there but nothing “big”. Apart from Xmas1, they now get all their gifts from his family at his.
On Christmas Day, dd spoke with her dad about what she’d got.
They were picked up early on Boxing Day before I started work.
I got a call from dd later that day saying she’d got another iPad. Caught off guard, I made a comment about Santa getting mixed up and she said she didn’t get anything from Santa this year, it had been from her dad.
I know he bought it less than a week before Xmas.
I know it happens but not usually with their main present and all for the sake of one message asking what Santa was bringing.

SunshineCake Wed 01-Jan-20 17:24:59

Thinking about you @onitlikeacarbonnet. hope you've had a lovely Christmas.

Freeshavocado Tue 31-Dec-19 20:43:28

Happy new year to you and the DC's Onit! I hope you had a lovely Christmas and are ready to see what the next decade brings for you. I still think about you often but can't describe how glad I am that you don't need these threads as much anymore, you have come so far from that first thread thanks.

Mix56 Tue 24-Dec-19 12:51:02

Happy Christmas Onit !

MurrayTheMonk Mon 16-Dec-19 10:30:44

Just Checking in to see how you are onit x hope the Christmas stuff got worked out.

Turnedovernewleaf Sun 08-Dec-19 23:19:24

Hi onit

Have just caught up with your thread.

How are things with you? How are the arrangements for Christmas ? Hope they’re in your favour

Take care

Mix56 Sat 07-Dec-19 12:14:43

Sorry just catching up. He is such a bastard, No reason for him to get your work days on top, he should get half including those days surely?
You could mention "the children have asked to come home in-between, so here is the divided up holiday",

MsPavlichenko Thu 28-Nov-19 09:09:34

Still an abusive arsehole.
You are right. Don't ask him for anything. Don't tell him your plans (working or otherwise). Don't let him know any other arrangements you make for child care. It is none of his business. He may hear via the DC but don't engage with him. Or comment on his arrangements ( football last weekend as an example). He is still primarily doing this as a controlling mechanism. Near silence is your friend here infuriating as he is.

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