Page 2 | I am Onit, hear me ROAR. Thread 5!

(395 Posts)
onitlikeacarbonnet Wed 27-Mar-19 12:36:32

“I am not afraid of the storms for I am learning to sail my ship” Louisa May Alcott.

I was looking for something to call this thread and came across this quote.
It’s not entirely true; yet, but almost 3 years and 5 threads later, I actually almost believe I can do this.

But I still like the last thread title as it still feels fitting.
I’ll save the LMA quote for the next one.

Here’s a link to the last thread.
Hope you all find me, my amazing friends star

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3211292-I-am-onit-hear-me-ROAR-occasionally

OP’s posts: |
Mix56 Mon 14-Dec-20 15:57:59

If I remember correctly, he has had them over Xmas every year since he left you due to your work commitments
I would reply "my turn Buddy " Fuck you.

onitlikeacarbonnet Mon 14-Dec-20 14:58:51

I know my mistake was offering him the time in the first place.
I’ll learn eventually 🙈

OP’s posts: |
onitlikeacarbonnet Mon 14-Dec-20 14:55:50

Hello
Sorry I’ve been absent. Such a lot going on. Most of it difficult as my mental health isn’t great. And just gone back to work after injuring my back in October. Like most people I’m missing human contact. The dc are ok. Dd is such a confident girl (except during the night when at least 3/7 nights she hops into bed with me), but she doesn’t bottle stuff up. She can be a drama queen but at least I know what’s bothering her.
Dd is mostly ok but struggling with no seeing his friends. The ones he doesn’t go to school with. He’s much more likely to bottle it all up then have an almighty meltdown. It always takes lots of cajoling and gentle probing to find out what’s troubling him.

I had my first wobble in a while sending the asshat an email this morning regarding Christmas
For info, I’m off Christmas Day, Boxing Day, 27th and 28th.
I had offered him a few hours on Boxing Day (10am-6pm) even though it would mean my giving up my Saturday with the dc.
His reply was typical. He thinks he should have the whole day and overnight.
Bearing in mind these 4 days are the only time during the break where I have more than 1 full day off. He already has Tuesday to Thursday both weeks as well as the weekends at either end of the holiday too. So he has 11 days to my 6 anyway.

I’m justifying to you guys (I don’t to him anymore) but when he replied I just thought fuck you. I’m offering to sit at home alone while you play happy families. And the dc don’t want to go. They want to stay with me. I didn’t tell him that. The dc don’t want him to know they said it.
The email I sent this morning confirmed the 2 midweek visits and I said we’d just stick to the established weekends.
He’s just replied that I didn’t mention it so can I confirm he’s getting the dc at 10am on BD till 10am on 27th.

I’m not negotiating. He can swivel. Talk about giving an inch and taking a mile.

Anyway, sorry about the rambling. Just wanted to check in and say I’m still alive and surviving. Hope you all are too fsmile

OP’s posts: |
SunshineCake Mon 30-Nov-20 19:56:17

I was looking for your thread @onitlikeacarbonnet and hoped there would be a post from you. I hope you are well, onit.

RoxiFruitcake Mon 30-Nov-20 15:59:59

Hi Onit another one here who has been thinking of you. Followed you from the start of your journey all the ups and the downs. Quite eventful, but you are so strong, I am sure you have carried on regardless. I have changed my username so may not be familiar. Hope you and the children are keeping well in these difficult times. KOKO Onit xx

Mygirlsareeverything Mon 30-Nov-20 12:46:57

Just thought i’d Say hello onit.

How are you ? Hope your well ? Have you made any Christmas arrangements yet ?

Puppylover99 Fri 30-Oct-20 08:17:07

The link wont worl how do i get first post op? New to this sorry xx

ASimpleLampoon Fri 30-Oct-20 05:26:36

Hi Onit. lovely to see your update. I can relate! Also burning out and so very fed up. in Wales and in Lockdown again during a rainy half term hoiday.... Trying to stay positive....

Mix56 Wed 30-Sep-20 11:54:58

Hi Onit, missed your update.
Sorry to hear you have gad a smsll burn out. It has been so relentless with Covid, & obviously with you job on the line.
You need as many "breaks" as you ca get. KOKO

SunshineCake Thu 17-Sep-20 13:41:34

I'm pleased to see you told your children's father he would have to do extra parenting and as you haven't said otherwise it appears he did. Never feel bad about him having the dc longer than planned. Lie about why if you have to.

I hope you keep your job and that things are still going well with your partner.

Take care.

Mygirlsareeverything Thu 17-Sep-20 10:29:07

Thanks for your update onit. I often think of you and how your getting on.

I’ve name changed since your last post.

That’s it onit. Bite sized chunks. I’m not planning anything ahead of October half term. Just want to get to that point first.

Stay well and remain positive, you can do this.

x

onitlikeacarbonnet Wed 16-Sep-20 22:51:27

Hi all
Hope you’re all doing ok.
Keeping on, keeping on has been my mantra but it’s been a long ass summer. Hardly stopped for breath.
Was furloughed till school went back in August and, now I’m back at work, I’m just waiting to find out if I’m going to be made redundant after the company’s announcement a couple of weeks ago. Should know in the next few weeks if I’m one of the unlucky thousands.

Myself and the dc have done ok for the most part. 10 days after school went back my dd caught a cold. Off school and work. But it was just a cold. Over the next few days I developed a dry cough, slight temp and a freak out. But my test was negative. I’ve struggled mentally though. When the dc went to their dads for a long weekend at the end of July I had a mini meltdown. Told him I had a tummy bug and he’d need to keep the dc for another couple of days. I just wanted to run away. I know I’m not the only one who felt like that. It’s creeping up on me again. But I’m hoping that, because I can see the October hols, I’ll last.
Stay safe x

OP’s posts: |
rayoflightboy Wed 16-Sep-20 21:58:05

Was only thinks Ng of you @onitlikeacarbonnet hope you are well.

SunshineCake Wed 16-Sep-20 19:24:36

I was thinking of you and your children to today *@onitlikeacarbonnet. How are you ?

Apileofballyhoo Thu 18-Jun-20 17:47:21

I was thinking of you today, onit. I hope you and the DC are well. Does your back still bother you?

stormsurfer Sun 07-Jun-20 12:46:36

How are you doing onit?

thatcarolebaskinbitch Mon 01-Jun-20 13:49:40

Hope you are still well Onit thanks

Mix56 Fri 10-Apr-20 10:18:40

Boring sounds great Onit, compared to moments in time when you were in physical & mental agony, miserable, broke, hurting, depressed & desperate.
I'd sign for Boring !
So glad you interrupted the pathetic sobbing incident, Prick.
Enjoy the quiet, (well other than the hoover !) they will be back soon !

SunshineCake Wed 08-Apr-20 22:25:26

I also don't understand why children, super spreaders, are allowed to move between families. In a split family that is potentially four sets that could be infected.

onitlikeacarbonnet Wed 08-Apr-20 14:50:30

Thanks for the well wishes.
Right back attcha all!

What did I say about life being boring? 🙈

I’m ok. At the moment at least. Been a bit all over the place.
Dc went to their dads this morning. We’ve been isolating as much as possible the last 10 days or so since I last was at work and dc were in childcare. I’m a keyworker (food retail) but have now been furloughed. Dc haven’t seen their dad in over 2 weeks as his ds has a temp and they were isolating. He had a cold and was teething. I would’ve preferred not to send them obviously. I can’t understand why its ok for the children of split parents to be exposed when the rest of the population are being told they can be fined or even arrested for unnecessary travel or mixing with other households.
I’m not a hypocrite. If the shoe was on the other foot, I’d accept they would stay away for their own safety.
If I hadn’t been furloughed, I would’ve taken the time unpaid to continue to care for them at home.
Likewise, terrifying though the thought is, if I become unwell while they’re away (or someone there does), I wouldn’t expect them to come home on Sunday.
But I never expected him to be anything less than a selfish knobend. Frankly, I’m surprised he let on that his dd was sick.
When he called the dc to tell them he burst into tears. The phone was on speaker and I happened to be close by as we were doing a bit of schoolwork. I grabbed DS’s phone and walked away. When I spoke to him I said I hoped his ds would be ok but he should call the dc back when he’d composed himself. Funnily enough, he stopped crying pretty quickly.
I felt nothing while I was speaking to him. I wasn’t scared or panicked. If I felt anything it was pity. He’s a sorry excuse for a man and an even sorrier excuse for a father.
All other conversation has been by email and he’s been oddly amiable. It’s made me suspicious but I’m trying to push that to one side. I rather enjoy not feeling anything at all about him.

I keep thinking of the words BoJo used to describe the children of single mothers and those mothers themselves. Of how the lowest paid cleaners and shelf stackers and the millions of others on minimum wage who are generally maligned by the tories, are the ones who are still working, putting their lives, and those of their families, at risk to keep the country going.
And all this rhetoric about our wonderful nhs. When only a few weeks ago he was preparing to sell it off to Trump. The cynic in me would suggest that denying frontline staff of PPE might be a convenient way of dismantling the health service by disabling the workforce and watching it crumble without the finger of blame being pointed at him or his party. But I think my paranoia is a projection of my fear at having no choice but to put my children at risk so their father can continue to be a selfish arsehole.

I’m alone till Sunday and I’ve already started on the massive spring clean which should keep me busy till they can come home.

I hope you’re all keeping well. Stay safe everyone flowers

OP’s posts: |
SunshineCake Wed 08-Apr-20 13:54:08

Thinking of yourself you *@onitlikeacarbonnet and hoping the children are with you.

Sithee Sun 05-Apr-20 16:05:44

@onitlikeacarbonnet hope you’re all doing ok. You and your family has been in my thoughts during these worrying times. Take care.

Trethew Thu 19-Mar-20 18:09:45

So glad you’re ok

Aaahhhbump Sat 14-Mar-20 11:29:07

There's a reason they say "may you live in interesting times" as curse.

Long live boring!

Freeshavocado Sat 14-Mar-20 10:40:01

So glad to hear life is 'boring' onit !

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