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MIL - advice please!

(7 Posts)
greengarden Wed 11-Jul-07 10:13:53

PIL live 6 hours drive away in remote area, retired tho and can travel easily. Have seen DS every few weeks since he was born. We have explained they can't stay with us at mo cos renovating house and young baby, but gave them a date for few months time. They now asking if they have offended us as 'we don't seem to want to see them' (saw them 3 weeks ago!) . MIL generally overbearing- should I just ignore this odd behaviour?!! surely they could stay nearby (we did suggest this!)... advice please!!

catnip Wed 11-Jul-07 10:22:03

I reckon all MILs occur as overbearing when you have just had a baby, and you will be glad of her support later on. Tbh a a few months is quite a long time if they are used to seeing you every few weeks. Maybe they don't get quite how chaotic your house renovations are going to be - I would be really lay it on thick about that, and be very positive about them staying nearby. I'm sure there's a middle way on this one

greengarden Wed 11-Jul-07 10:37:05

oops tha6 should have said few weeks time not months! yep guess we just need to keep saying it's not them just the house etc..

mumsville Wed 11-Jul-07 17:17:02

It's only an issue if you allow them to make it into an issue.

I know that renovations are really awful and you just need to emphasise how busy you'll be and how awful your house will be during that period - no bath - no loo - no kitchen. They'll get the drift - hopefully!

meandmy Wed 11-Jul-07 17:21:03

i see my pil every three weeks ish as they are always very busy even though mil is retired, I feel for you is it possible for you to go to them? or explain that if the house was sorted it would be no problem would it be possible to look at a b&b so they can spend the time with you all but are not under your feet iyswim

greengarden Wed 11-Jul-07 17:50:43

thanks for all the good advice. Looks like we have it sorted, they have agreed to staying nearby and say they understand.. phew wasn't as bad as I imagined! thanks all!

catnip Wed 11-Jul-07 18:57:05

oh weeks! yes, just keep going on about the mess, the dust, the lack of plumbing....don't want to inflict it on them etc

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