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Getting sex back

(7 Posts)
hurricane Wed 11-Jul-07 09:47:43

Having had a great sex life it started to dwindle to nothing after dd2 and 13 months of bfeeding. Having been a good thing about our relationship it became a source of conflict which made both of us resentful (dp because he wasn't getting enough and me because I felt he was pressuring me). We have agreed to have sex once a week on Saturday (when can't use tiredness etc as an excuse). Obviously this is not the most romantic approach but it does take away the will she or won't she, the pressure and the fear of rejection which was spoiling things for us. So far, so good and now I feel more in control and less pressured am starting to get my sex drive back. Thought I'd pass this on.

expatinscotland Wed 11-Jul-07 09:49:04

Well, how about a few sessions of foreplay but no sex?

That might spark things up again.

How about focusing on affection during the day/evening that's just that - holding hands, a cuddle here and there, a kiss on the lips (no tongues)?

It does take effort, but it's worth it!

theSelfishMan Wed 11-Jul-07 12:50:29

hurricane - so true! Probably in fact the Number One Tip for getting things back on track is to schedule it... One the advantages from a guys point of view is that it removes the "trying to find that very thin line between sounding like youre pressurising, or sounding like a whiner".

expatinscotland Wed 11-Jul-07 12:52:04

I agree with scheduling it or scheduling 'dates'.

OrmIrian Wed 11-Jul-07 12:55:43

Yes. Has to be scheduled. Find yourself a window . I hate that it has to be done that way but otherwise it doesn't happen in our house. Once you've broken the ice the odd spontaneous one may occur.

hurricane Wed 11-Jul-07 19:43:29

Glad I'm not the only one this works for.

yummybunnymummy Wed 11-Jul-07 20:07:18

We're trying to schedule a little, just because it seems so difficult to get some quality 'us' time with 2 small kids, who don't seem to sleep .

I read something really depressing yesterday that said whilst maintaining a healthy sex life with under 5s was hard, it was actually more difficult living in a house with teenagers as they know what your trying to get up to ! I can't imagine it being any more difficult at the moment if I'm honest though.

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