Talk

Advanced search

My exH has married the OW - and I don't care

(30 Posts)
RomanticFatigue Sun 24-Mar-19 23:57:51

I'm surprised because I don't feel a thing.

I was broken when I found out he was cheating on me. I threw him out, didn't do the pick me dance and that dented his fragile ego and he threw me to the wolves. I was devastated at what did to me and it's taken a good couple of years to get myself back on track. A big stumbling block was when I found out the OW was pregnant - it sent me straight back to therapy. And I cried a lot when his daughter was born.

So, I've just opened a message from a mutual friend to say they have got married. And I honestly don't feel anything. For him anyway. For me, I feel elated. I'm finally free of him and the past. I just wanted to post this as a mark of the pompoms I'm waving for myself. I got there. Go me.

PippilottaLongstocking Mon 25-Mar-19 00:01:24

Go you!

Shadowofthemoon Mon 25-Mar-19 00:06:56

That’s wonderful flowers
Now go and grab yourself a fabulous life.

RomanticFatigue Mon 25-Mar-19 00:36:31

Thanks Pippi and Shadow.

The thing is, I've been so happy the past couple of months. Because the weight of the past is no longer on me. And I've got a new boyfriend to distract me too. My life is so much better now than it was when I was with him.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Mon 25-Mar-19 00:54:06

The opposite of love is not hate.
It's indifference

Shadowofthemoon Mon 25-Mar-19 01:07:21

Sounds like you’ve already got your fabulous life sorted smile

PyongyangKipperbang Mon 25-Mar-19 01:11:50

And she has a man who she knows is fully capable of cheating on her. Of course "he wouldnt do that to me, I'm different" right up until he does cos she aint.....

Deleriumdreamer Mon 25-Mar-19 01:22:22

You sound like me OP my ex was completely crap to me. I desperately wanted kids and it never happened in the whole time we were together. We had a crap break up and now he’s with a girl less than a year and they are pregnant. I’ve blocked and deleted him on social media things as he tried to be friends but it couldn’t work as it was one way street and I was just done. It’s been the best thing I’ve ever did. We are free and thank god for it grin

Normaknowall Mon 25-Mar-19 01:24:08

💐Romantic!

LordPickle Mon 25-Mar-19 01:35:34

That's brilliant OP. My ex got OW pregnant and now they're married with 2 kids. I try not to think about it because when I do I feel awful and empty.

I'd love to be where you are with it all. Every time I see his pic I want to throw up because it causes such a visceral reaction. It's been years and I still can't think about it or I get upset.

I'd love to not care at all. You're quite lucky.

Mumsymumphy Mon 25-Mar-19 01:58:20

You're there, yey! It's a brilliant place to be isn't it!

LaughingCow99 Mon 25-Mar-19 03:10:11

If he treated you badly and threw you to the wolves, why would you care if he married OW?

LaughingCow99 Mon 25-Mar-19 03:11:39

Hit post early by mistake. I think this shows you have healthy self esteem!!

Chocmallows Mon 25-Mar-19 03:21:59

I wanted my ex to stay with OW, he was so horrible to me I knew that eventually she would face the selfish pig I'd been stuck with. Friends said he would be back, but I was adament that I wanted them together as they are as bad as each other.

Losing a cheater is gaining freedom from someone who does not respect nor love you. OP I'm glad you have moved on to a better life too.

GrandTheftWalrus Mon 25-Mar-19 03:36:47

I was fine about exH moving on and getting a new girlfriend etc however I was terrified about them getting pregnant as I was utterly convinced I couldn't have children.

However I now have my dd with my fiance and so anything exH does I dont care about.

That actually sounds rather callous doesnt it?

NotTheFordType Mon 25-Mar-19 03:58:17

Well done OP!

I was totally done up like a kipper when my ex married. (She wasn't OW)

5 years on I am like "who cares, nare nare"

GrandTheftWalrus Mon 25-Mar-19 04:02:16

Also if my ex marries again I just feel sorry for the new wife because of the way he is with food etc.

I had to have a buffet at my wedding due to his eating habits and at his brothers wedding he had macaroni cheese.

I think I hold a lot of grudges

Seahorseshoe Mon 25-Mar-19 04:27:12

Cheated on you and threw you to the wolves - quite a catch ow has there! She'll find out the hard way.

I am so pleased you have come out the other side, feeling fine - a bright future ahead.

I'm hoping any other women in your boat, read this and glean that it will be ok.

CurlyWurlyTwirly Mon 25-Mar-19 04:33:30

Great to hear OP, go you!
I’m getting there with my DS living 50/50 with exp and ow.
Time and as you nsay having a fabulous life; is a great healer.

MumsyJ Mon 25-Mar-19 05:04:00

That's how it's done girl 🥂👏👊

BinaryStar Mon 25-Mar-19 05:24:10

Well done Op

CaseofEllen Mon 25-Mar-19 06:14:54

winecakethanks

NameChangeNugget Mon 25-Mar-19 08:40:28

Well done OP.

Have fun and enjoy life

RomanticFatigue Mon 25-Mar-19 23:25:49

The opposite of love is not hate.
It's indifference

Absolutely.

RomanticFatigue Mon 25-Mar-19 23:28:12

And she has a man who she knows is fully capable of cheating on her. Of course "he wouldnt do that to me, I'm different" right up until he does cos she aint.....
Pyong - he already has. And she forgave him (eventually). They deserve each other.

Thanks for all the posts. I am free and it feels great.

RomanticFatigue Mon 25-Mar-19 23:31:34

I'd love to be where you are with it all. Every time I see his pic I want to throw up because it causes such a visceral reaction. It's been years and I still can't think about it or I get upset.

flowers LordPickle - I really hope you get here too. Have you had counselling?

PyongyangKipperbang Mon 25-Mar-19 23:47:29

Well she can hardly kick off at him can she? By being complicit in his cheating on you she has told him that she is ok with him cheating on his wife. That she is the wife now makes no difference, she must still be ok with it, right?!

RomanticFatigue Tue 26-Mar-19 00:00:13

Pyong, he told me about it before our divorce went through. He showed his true colours to me during that period as he didn't need to be anything to me. It was awful to find out what he was really like. He doesn't actually give a shit about her, she just fuels his ego. She thinks she is special because he left his wife for her. She's just a blow up doll to him. She's a silly girl and he's a horrible horrible man. And I am the lucky one to be free grin

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 26-Mar-19 00:02:10

I couldnt agree more!

Sad thing is that one day she will grow up and realise just what he stole from her. I dont condone what she did in any way but she sounds like she fell hook line and sinker for the bullshit.

Like you say, silly little girl.

MrsMozartMkII Tue 26-Mar-19 07:31:35

Yay the happy freedom!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »