Splitting bills

[Holds1]

Hi all

I returned from maternity leave about 4 weeks ago and I'm due to get my first full (part time) salary after going back.

Me and my partner have always split bills 50/50 despite the fact he has always earned more than me.

He did agree to splitting the bills proportionally when I went back but I hate the fact I will see it as charity.

We both work at the same place, he got promoted about 3 years ago and despite me working so hard I can't seem to get promoted.

As I'm now only working 3 days a week my salary is less than half his. We pay the childcare vouchers through work and he pays the maximum £243 and I pay the rest which is £195.

The childcare is 20% my gross salary and travel is 10%.

I did ask if he would do 4 days a week so I could also do 4 as I really want to carry on paying half but he refused.

Do any of you insist on paying half even though you will have nothing left

[GreenTulips]

Absolutely not!

You may get paid 3 days a week but you definitely work the other 2!

You will contribute to your child’s upbringing and hold hold chores

I think you need to see this as a partnership and not him subbing you

There has to be a balance

Everything in one pot - bills paid, savings put aside for car tax and repairs etc and share the rest out fairly evenly

[Ariela]

Why should you effectively pay for all the childcare for 2 days by losing your income on the 2 days you're not working?
Take up his offer to split the bills proportionally, it's only fair. Or 'charge' him for the 2 days childcare when you're not working.

[Sn0tnose]

Slightly different circumstances as I earn twice what my DH earns and we have no children. I wouldn't dream of asking him to pay 50%of the bills.

[RunSweatLaughAndLatte]

Why don't you just put both of your income together, have a bills account where you pay both of your salaries into and all the bills come out, and then the rest is spending money for both of you which you can transfer into a separate spending account. If you're living together like a married couple and have a child, I can't see why you wouldn't do this.

[Holds1]

To be honest he is terrible with money. So I prefer to control my account so we always have money right to payday every month. I suppose the bills thing is a pride issue. I never was given pocket money as a child. I got a paper round on my 13th birthday and a full time job at 17. I have never had a penny off anyone other than the roof over my head and food in my belly as a child. I want to work full time but would be working the additional two days for nothing

[Parker231]

Why are you paying for childcare - it’s a joint responsibility as is rent, electric, gas, water, insurance, food, transport, savings, clothing etc. All money is joint otherwise you aren’t a couple. One party of the couple shouldn’t have any more ‘free’ money than the other regardless of what you earn.

[mindutopia]

Nope, it’s ridiculous of him and unfair to you. I’m in exactly the same situation, just gone back to work part time (3 days) after mat leave. My dh is a high earner (I am too at my ft salary). We pay proportionately into a joint account and out of than comes rent, bills, food shopping, anything the dc need and nursery, plus things like family holidays, meals out, etc. We hold the rest back to our individual accounts for commuting, cars, other personal expenses.

But even so, you’re a team. If ever something happens that means we run out of money in our personal accounts (big car repairs, or when I needed to buy a monthly train ticket to start back to work at £700), the other transfers over the money so no one of us struggles while the other has loads.

[mindutopia]

Also working even if it just covers childcare (a joint expense!) is not a bad move if it’s what you want. After our first I went back to work and my salary just covered nursery so we were no better off.

Fast forward 5 years, I went back after my 2nd May leave to a significant promotion (£10k more even than I was making when I went out on mat leave 18 months ago). It absolutely worked to my advantage in the long run.