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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

HOW TO GET MY KIDS FATHER BACK

64 replies

QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:31

PLEASE HELP ME GET MY FAMILY BACK LIKE IF WAS I WAS CHEATING ON HIM AND HE FOUND OUT AND LEFT ME WE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 11YEARS AND HAVE 2 KIDS TOGETHER WE BEEN BROKE UP FOR A YEAR AND HE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH DO YOU THINK HE STILL LOVE ME OR IS THERE A WAY WE GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER I MISS HIM SO MUCH I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET HIM BACK

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SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 14:32

Do you have any contact to him at the moment? Do the dc see him?

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peanutbear · 08/07/2007 14:33

if you cheated on him do you think the trust is stll there

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:34

YES I HAVE CONTACT WITH HIM BUT WE ALWAY ARGUEING HE MOVED THE GIRL IN THE HOUSE THAT WE PURCHASED TOGATHER

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SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 14:35

I was wondering too, you said he left you a year ago when he found out you had been having an affair.

Was it really such a good relationship then? Were you really so happy with him if you felt you needed another man?

Perhaps you want a happy family life but not necessarily HIM as your partner, could it be that?

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:35

NO HOW CAN I BUILD MY TRUST BACK

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:36

HE WAS ALWAY AT WORK AND I ASK HIM FOR TIME HE NEVER GIVE IT TO ME

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peanutbear · 08/07/2007 14:36

to be honest I'm not sure would you not b better of bulding self confidence and meeting someone else

does he give you any hints he might have feelings for you

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madmarchhare · 08/07/2007 14:36

stop shouting maybe?

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SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 14:37

So you felt lonely when you with him and you feel lonely and hurt now too?

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:37

SOMETIME BUT WE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME CAN LOVE JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:39

YES AND THE TIME I WANT WITH HIM THE MAN I MEAT WAS GIVING ME THE TIME BUT I DIDNT WANT IT FROM HIM I WANTED FROM MY KIDS FATHER AND NOW HE GIVING THE TIME TO SOMEONE ELSE

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mytwopenceworth · 08/07/2007 14:40

Take your caps lock off. It makes difficult reading.

You can't make anyone come back to you. They have to want to. It sounds like, right now, he doesn't want to. It is sad, but there is no way to make him feel differently.

You can only tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels about that.

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SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 14:40

Yes, I think it can go very quickly if the shock is great enough. People are all very different. Some people can try to understand the reasons for infidelity and then attempt to give the relationship another chance. Other people never recover from the hurt and shock of it.

I think tbh if he has a regular girlfriend this seems to be a sign that he has put your relationship behind him and is attempting to move on.

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:40

IF WE CAN STOP ARGUING BUT I ALWAYS START IT BECAUSE I CANT STAND HIM WITH SOMEONE ELSE SO I GET MAD

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peanutbear · 08/07/2007 14:40

turn your caps off its considered rude on an internet forum

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SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 14:41

Of course I personally don't know much about the relationship and nothing of anyone involved, so I may be wrong and I'm sorry if it hurts you to read that.

How long have he and this woman been together?

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peanutbear · 08/07/2007 14:42

you cant stand him being with someone else but that is what you started

I know you might have been lonely but if he came home what would change?

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:43

yes you is right i guess i have to move on but i still love him and my kids not happy at all

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:44

i will change my way and stop looking at things one way

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:44

a year

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SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 14:46

I don't know if you too have a chance to get back together, learn to trust each other together and be happy together. I can understand that ideally you would like to be with the father of your dc and for you all to have a happy family life.

I can understand your jealousy too and that the pain it causes leads to arguments.

I'm not the best at relationships myself so not well qualified to advise tbh. Have you met his girlfriend, how serious does their relationship seem to you?

Before argument errupts, how does your ex treat you/speak to you?

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peanutbear · 08/07/2007 14:46

children pick up on your feelings though,Is he close to his children

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QUNDA · 08/07/2007 14:46

yes he close to them

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SSSandy2 · 08/07/2007 14:46

oops you two I meant!

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peanutbear · 08/07/2007 14:48

I think if he wanted to come home he would have dropped hints
you need to move on find someone to make you happy with out you having to change your personality

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