For a while now I have been concerned about the amount of alcohol my husband has been drinking. He throws himself with a passion into anything he enjoys and this seems to have started to be the case with drinking. On social occasions he seemed to get really, really drunk. At first I thought I was just noticing it more as I am pregnant and so therefore not drinking at all. But then I started to feel a little on edge around him as although he was happy drunk he seemed to get loud and just a little aggressive around the edges with his language. Nothing sinister, just a bit ?oh fuck him, bollocks? type of aggressive language.
I spoke to him about it and nothing really seemed to happen but I continued to be concerned. He?d get in late from being out and still pour himself a glass of wine when he got in. He drinks wine every night, which we did together before this pregnancy, but he was getting through a least 1 bottle each night every night and bringing a glass to bed with him.
My concerns were confirmed last week.
We went out for the day with friends and he began drinking, along with everyone else, at about 1.30. We got home at 7.30 that evening. He was drunk but fine. He had another couple of glasses and then at about 10 went to bed. I was trying to watch a film in bed and his almost instant snoring got so loud that I tried to stop him by moving the pillow a bit. He?d stop for a while and then continue. Anyway at some point I moved his arm to stop the snoring and he thrashed out, in his sleep, but he caught me just above the bump. It scared me and more through shock than anything else I cried. I pushed his arm and said ?what on earth are you doing, you?ve just hit me? to which he lashed out again and caught me again. I was so shocked and sort of shook his shoulder and said ?hey, what the hell are you doing stop? and got a load of verbal abuse from him. I was so upset that I threw a glass of water over him to make him come to and realise what he was doing. As I did this he jumped up, I jumped up and out of the bed and he absolutely flew at me with his fists and had me in the corner of the bedroom and was punching me in the side of my head, by my ear.
I was in shock and pain and totally in a mess, shaking, crying and saying ?what have you done, oh no what have you done??. I asked him to leave, either the house or at least the bedroom. He said no, I kept on and he wouldn?t. I said I?d phone someone if he didn?t leave and as he still refused I reached for the phone. He snatched it out of my hand and pulled it out of the wall, pulling over my bedside table and it?s contents at the same time.
I was so scared I ran for the door, down the stairs and called the police.
By the time they arrived we had both calmed right down and he had sobered up with the shock of it all.
The police left after I told them that it was ok, that he had lashed out in his sleep and I was ok.
He slept on the sofa that night.
The next day he stayed off work as he said he felt sick at what he had done. He apologised, said that he would never drink like that again, he doesn?t know how or why it happened, he doesn?t remember why or how it started, that he was sickened by himself, etc etc.
Since then he has drunk only juice, apart from when a friend came over and they shared just 1 bottle between them.
I?m not sure how I feel, what I?m supposed to feel. Can I believe it?s a one off? Do I hope it is and carry on as normal? What if it happens again? I have no idea what is going on, what I do, what the future holds.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
He lashed out at me
ShockedStunned · 06/07/2007 23:23
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