Can't believe I'm .about to type this. I have another thread on here and I'm currently making plans to get my boyfriend out the house. Since posting I've been forced to really be honest with myself about his behaviour and there is something that is really bugging me.
I think he is trying to get me pregnant again. I assume he thinks that will mean that I won't kick him out. I say this because I'm always very clear about the fact I don't want unprotected sex and that I don't want another baby at the moment. He says he doesn't like condoms and keeps asking 'can I just put it in for a second?' Sometimes I back down (I know that is entirely on me) partly because I'm so grateful that he is being nice to me (though I realise pressuring me into something i don't want isn't actually nice at all) and partly so i dont trigger one of his moods and because I believe him when he says just for a second. (Yes i know. Im an idiot) The times I do back down I always reiterate the fact he isn't to cum inside me but he does anyway. Without any warning. Then of course he claims it was an accident. I'm no longer sleeping with him as I learnt my lesson. He has said 'jokingly' that he will go elsewhere. I'm never sure If he is joking or not. Which of course helps with my decision to give into him.
We have a young baby and I kind of feel that I ended up getting pregnant because he broke down my 'no unprotected sex' rule in various ways until it just became the norm. Even though I didn't actually want to risk getting pregnant. He would be so affectionate and tell me his much he loved me and couldn't wait to marry me and wanted me to have his baby. He would tell me this over and over until I started to fall for the idea. He would push it a little further each time until we stopped using condoms. Sometimes he did pull out. Sometimes he didn't even if I asked him to. I know how stupid this sounds. He is a master manipulator. Very charming (When he wants something) and very confident. And I fell for it as I wanted the fairy tale happy ending. Another chance at being a family. Getting married again. I had no idea he was actually a crack addict and was as high as a kite when he was saying these things to me. I know ultimately it was my responsibility to make sure i didn't get pregnant, there's just something about it all that makes me uncomfortable.
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Is this behaviour sexual abuse?
34 replies
Pinkypie22 · 16/02/2019 03:31
OP posts:
Bess78 ·
16/02/2019 06:23
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