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help just had baby four months ago and hes still in spare room my feelings are a mess is this normal

(14 Posts)
moneybagsmammy Wed 04-Jul-07 13:11:23

what do i do and is this normal

hermykne Wed 04-Jul-07 13:12:08

your partner or baby is in the spare room?

mylittlestar Wed 04-Jul-07 13:13:32

your feelings are a mess because your partner is in the spare room and you're not sure if you want him back in your bed?

codpiece Wed 04-Jul-07 13:14:02

I think we need a little more to go on than that, dear.

callmeovercautious Wed 04-Jul-07 13:17:24

Assume you mean your DP or DH.

We did the same for about 6 months, I know others that still sleep apart years later, more of a practical thing than a symptom of a poor relationship. If you are worried talk to him.


moneybagsmammy Wed 04-Jul-07 13:22:07

partner is in the spare room. im the one who wakes with katie and i dont mind but he expects me to tolerate his snoring i know deep down i still love him but really need this time to my self as well he just says i should deal with it im at home every day

perpetuaphoenixfire Wed 04-Jul-07 13:24:56

its normal and he needs to realise that. just keep telling yourself its not forever because it really isnt. i wish i had a spare room, i would do the same, dh has to sleep on the sofa occasionally! sorry must go my 4mo wants me, but he is my 4th so i have been through it 3 times already, just wanted to reassure you a bit

moneybagsmammy Wed 04-Jul-07 13:26:09

think i may be using snoring as excuse although it is really bad i just feel happy with him not in my room why is that

callmeovercautious Wed 04-Jul-07 17:01:23

you need some personal space. You have you lo all day then he comes home just as lo is going to bed I expect.

We all need time alone. If you were working you would at least have time commuting.

DP and I call it head space. Sometimes being alone lets you switch off - which there is precious little time to do during the day with a lo around. Don't beat yourself up, we all need time to ourselves and sometimes that means just some sleep alone in a bed. You do need to talk to him and explain.

waitingforCOD Wed 04-Jul-07 17:05:27

well I co-sleep with my kids (almost 4 and 2.5) and DH sleeps on his own so you are no more messed up than me! We are all happy.

evenhope Wed 04-Jul-07 17:28:07

I'm co-sleeping with my 3 month old and DH is on the sofa. Not in any hurry to have him back.

cece Wed 04-Jul-07 17:31:50

DH was in the spare room for at least 4 months with both of my mine.

bobblehead Wed 04-Jul-07 19:10:01

dh still in spare room and dd2 is 3 months. I'm a little worried like you as I like it and use dd as my excuse I think, but he moved rooms when I was pg as his snoring was driving me crazy so I suppose I'm just used to the space. I want to want him back though.

That said my parents have had separate rooms for years and are very happy (though my dad does try to snaek in sometimes and one night together reminds him they are better off apart!)

moneybagsmammy Thu 05-Jul-07 09:43:39

of my god i felt that i was alone out there glad to hear that this is normal i dont want to lose him but im really enjoying having me time and no snoring but i know he feels hard done by i have tried talking and he pretends to understand some what but i know ho does not

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