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what would you do.dh snogged girl infront of me

(70 Posts)
moljam Mon 02-Jul-07 16:13:09

sorry this may be long!-
this was 3 weeks ago.we were both drunk but i dont see that as an excuse.he claims he doesnt remember,i do.i was stood right near him. .shes 16 and has now taken to hanging round primary school when i pick my children up,which i hate.when it happened i said nothing,just walked away .when we got home we argued but were both drunk-i had sobered up alot after what i saw but still drunk.the next day we argued more,he claimed he has no memory of it but i dont believe him.also he said hes sorry,why be sorry if he doesnt know what happened?i left,taking all 3 children to my mums and said i wanted him to leave so i could return.its not just this 'thing' its lots of other stuff,this was final straw.after 3 nights i was supposed to return home next day to discuss what happens next but as i got in bed that night with 2 of my children i decided i couldnt do that to them and owed to them to atleast try.so thats what were doing.now this girl is hanging round again and its driving me mad.what would you do?

flack Mon 02-Jul-07 16:13:54

Decide that we both had drinking problems.

electra Mon 02-Jul-07 16:14:37

I think I would get the hell out of there if he has so little respect tbh.

lulumama Mon 02-Jul-07 16:16:13

tell her to p*ss off, she can take a running jump, and he is your DH

and both stop drinking and talk , when sober, about things, and what makes you behave in a self destructive manner

nailpolish Mon 02-Jul-07 16:18:18

how old is your dh?

FioFio Mon 02-Jul-07 16:18:43

Message withdrawn

Mumpbump Mon 02-Jul-07 16:19:04

Agree with lulumama, but doesn't sound good if he has so little respect that he'd snog someone in front of you, drunk or not...

katylui1 Mon 02-Jul-07 16:20:20

Leave, leave, leave. What are you teaching your kids about love and respect???

expatinscotland Mon 02-Jul-07 16:20:29

What's with all these women who think they need to tell the gal to piss off?

I mean, shouldn't he be doing that?

mytwopenceworth Mon 02-Jul-07 16:20:35

I'd stop drinking for a start!

He said he's sorry because he wants you to shut up about it and he thinks that apologising will get you off his back.

Why does the girl hang around the school gates? Does he pick the kids up at times? Is she hoping to see him? Or is she jealous of you and wanting to, oh I don't know, who can figure the mind of a 16 yr old girl!!

Remember though that she is only 16 and probably has a huge crush. She's just a kid.

If this is the latest in a long list of things then maybe you need a long chat - I always say Relate in answer to these posts but it's true, it is better to talk these things out and sometimes needs a third party to help.

If going down the pub is part of his normal day to day life, then might I suggest a lifestyle change. Best decisions are not generally made while staring at the bottom of your pint pot!!

moljam Mon 02-Jul-07 16:20:49

hes 40.
and we dont have drinking problemsit was rare night out.

Cammelia Mon 02-Jul-07 16:21:35

Stop drinking to the extent of getting drunk and disorderly and kill them both anyway

lulumama Mon 02-Jul-07 16:21:43

because, she is a 16 yr old girl who can get out of the picture.....the OP and her DH need to talk, like grown ups

i wouldn;t ditch DH for a snog..... but i;d want to know what the hell was going on

certainly wouldn;t break up a 10 year relationship over it

nailpolish Mon 02-Jul-07 16:21:56

40???

fuck sake!

TootyFrooty Mon 02-Jul-07 16:22:02

How old are your children?

expatinscotland Mon 02-Jul-07 16:22:13

He's FORTY and he snogged a 16 year old girl in front of you whilst drunk.

Where the hell was this?

Huh?

If you get so plastered you can't remember what the hell you did you've got a problem.

lulumama Mon 02-Jul-07 16:22:35

why is a 16 yr old at a party or whatever , copping off with a 40 yr old married man? where were you ?

sounds like there are multiple issues to be dealt with , and this has brought it all to a head

moljam Mon 02-Jul-07 16:22:55

she goes to the school with her friend who does have a child at the school.he hardly ever goes there but did every day the week after it happened as i wouldnt so maybe hoping to bump into him?

FioFio Mon 02-Jul-07 16:22:56

Message withdrawn

lulumama Mon 02-Jul-07 16:23:15

sorry, your DH should also absolutely not be snogging teenagers, and needs to take responsibility

TootyFrooty Mon 02-Jul-07 16:23:38

What a creep. <shudder>

chopster Mon 02-Jul-07 16:23:49

is this for real?

expatinscotland Mon 02-Jul-07 16:23:52

That's whacked, man.

moljam Mon 02-Jul-07 16:23:58

children are 7,6 and 18 months

moljam Mon 02-Jul-07 16:24:18

chopster yes sadly for real

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