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Is this a red flag?

(43 Posts)
Houseonahill Fri 11-Jan-19 20:14:53

Hello sorry if this is a silly question but I've had a few bad/abusive relationships in the past and I try and be ultra careful now so don't know if I'm just making a mountain out of a mole hill....

So I've been seeing a guy for a few weeks, nothing serious just one date and texting/phone calls everyday, he seems very nice and respectful but one thing that is bothering me is he keeps calling me not my name but similar so for example if my name was Danni he keeps calling me Annie, I have said to him twice you do know my name is Danni and not Annie don't you and both times he has said "yeah but I like Annie better"

Is that a red flag? It seems weird to me tbh I don't mind the name and I'm not very precious about what people call me (annoying long name with lots of abbreviations) but it seems odd to keep calling someone the wrong name because you prefer it especially after they have commented on it?

Thanks in advance smile

HollowTalk Fri 11-Jan-19 20:16:38

He sounds nuts. I would write him a text, dumping him, but calling him by the wrong name.

HollowTalk Fri 11-Jan-19 20:17:09

Calling you by the wrong name, deliberately, is very disrespectful.

Branleuse Fri 11-Jan-19 20:17:56

I think that's weird, lazy and shows he's not paying any attention

Sexnotgender Fri 11-Jan-19 20:18:38

That’s weird. I’d not be having any more dates with him.

category12 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:19:41


He's testing your boundaries and seeing what you'll accept. Fuck that, he doesn't get to change your name.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:19:58

MASSIVE RED FLAG. Not only is this incredibly rude, it is a very clear warning sign of controlling behaviours that have yet to show themselves. He is CLEARLY showing that he has no respect for your feelings.

Op, you have a history of terrible relationships. Don't make this mistake again. This man is a complete twat.

category12 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:20:36

Have you done the Freedom Programme, OP?

cowfacemonkey Fri 11-Jan-19 20:22:00

Yeah I think that's weird I'd probably give this one a swerve

Renarde1975 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:22:45

Fucking RUN!

Houseonahill Fri 11-Jan-19 20:23:51

Oh I'm glad I asked now! I felt really silly like it was just one of those things and I needed to get over it. Dating is so hard sad

category12 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:27:16

Nope, your name is core identity stuff. There's a reason it's an embarrassing social gaffe to forget people's names or say them wrong.

Dirtybadger Fri 11-Jan-19 20:31:20

At best he's a very fucking weird. No ta!!

MumsyJ Fri 11-Jan-19 20:33:35

Controlling and rude. My way or the highway type of person!

HarrietOh Fri 11-Jan-19 20:34:19

Seeing each other a few weeks but only one date? He’s calling you by the wrong name because he likes that better?! Bin. Next!

Spin66 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:35:05

May I suggest (before you bin him off!) that if you have any interaction - text, phone, face to face you use a similar name to his (at least several times) and see how he likes it.

It shows a total disregard for you, or he has early stages of dementia- you choose.

showmeshoyu Fri 11-Jan-19 20:35:51

Maybe he ill-advisedly thinks he's being funny and cute? It is a red flag anyway, because it's annoying even if he's not narcissistically trying to erase your identity.

Ellie56 Fri 11-Jan-19 20:54:43

OP, anything you find remotely "off" is not acceptable.

This twat does not get to change your name because he "likes it better." Who the hell does he think he is? angry

notacooldad Fri 11-Jan-19 20:57:16

May I suggest (before you bin him off!) that if you have any interaction - text, phone, face to face you use a similar name to his (at least several times) and see how he likes it
I couldn't be added with game playing. Just get rid of the disrespectful shit.

notacooldad Fri 11-Jan-19 20:58:23

Meant Samsung censors me more than my mother!

PlumpSyrianHamster Fri 11-Jan-19 21:00:50

Dating is not hard if you stop first and do the Freedom Programme and a lot of work on your boundaries and self-esteem because most people with a modicum of self-esteem would have told this guy to go fuck himself. 'I like Annie better'. 'Then go find one to date, you weirdo.' And that would be the end.

I wouldn't bother breaking up with this dicksmack, but if you're so inclined than a simple, 'I'm worth someone who will at least use my real name. I'm off. Bye.' and then block.

chocohol Fri 11-Jan-19 21:03:12

Strange take on it: but have you considered her may have a stammer/stutter? My brother suffered in silence with this for years and used to avoid certain names, etc. Would def call him the wrong name too, see how he likes it!

misskiki69 Fri 11-Jan-19 22:58:05

Controlling! Change his name, see how he likes it. Tell him you prefer "prick!"

Lozzerbmc Fri 11-Jan-19 23:12:52

Definitely very odd - defo red flag

jacobsgirl Fri 11-Jan-19 23:19:57

What a weirdo I'd say if that's what he's like just now when you're at the start of a relationship god knows what he'd be like later on

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