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If someone you'd been dating sent you this...

(368 Posts)
upandupandup Fri 11-Jan-19 18:23:05

After a month and maybe 5 dates. What would you think?

This is in response to me asking if they wanted to carry on seeing me, as they had gone quite distant.

I DID really like you (I think you knew that!) if I’m being honest, we have a lot of banter, back and forth, but there’s no depth whatsoever in the relationship thus far and it makes me wonder if that’s just you, or if you’ve got more to say at a much deeper heartfelt level or if you’ve been holding back. To be honest I really can’t tell, but so far in our relationship I’ve been looking for a lot more from you from the mind and from the heart.

I think the sex part would always take care of itself and, if I’m being brutally honest, that’s not my main driver with a would-be life partner.

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but I’m a bit of a philosopher and a deep thinker, and I’m in my happiest place when I’m talking about deep meaningful things and we’ve just not done that at all. In fact, as I said, you don’t really know me coz you’ve never taken the time to get to know me and if I’m being honest, I’ve been really quite hurt by that.

Too intense or is there an element of truth? I try to keep things light and not get overinvested so early on but this has really hurt me.

Onacleardayyoucansee Fri 11-Jan-19 18:25:10

Too much too soon.
You are doing the right thing in my opinion...

Did you feel a connection with him?

RelapsedChocoholic Fri 11-Jan-19 18:25:24

I’d think lucky escape!

Jellybean100 Fri 11-Jan-19 18:26:03

Jesus he sounds like hard work

thedevilinablackdress Fri 11-Jan-19 18:27:00

Woah! Too much.
I'd suspect noone ever 'gets him'

LightFire Fri 11-Jan-19 18:27:15


SylvanianFamiliesNurserySet Fri 11-Jan-19 18:27:49

Jesus Christ. I would swerve that one. They (he?) are placing full responsibility for the conversation on you and taking no responsibility whatsoever! Sounds like quite an odd person TBH and not somebody I would want to get involved with.

icecreammonday Fri 11-Jan-19 18:27:58


IamFrauBlucher Fri 11-Jan-19 18:28:03

5 bloody dates!


Beaverhausen Fri 11-Jan-19 18:28:12

Good gawd no! Move on there are lots of fish in the sea.

Gnashers Fri 11-Jan-19 18:28:26

Run and don't look back

IamFrauBlucher Fri 11-Jan-19 18:28:34

In fact that'd be my reply.

user1492346620 Fri 11-Jan-19 18:28:36

I think if he's already making you question yourself then that's not great after one month
It should be light and easy at this stage surely
Unless you literally never ask him about himself and only talk about yourself!

NashvilleQueen Fri 11-Jan-19 18:28:42

Lucky escape for sure. Run for the hills.

buckingfrolicks Fri 11-Jan-19 18:28:49

He thinks you're thick. Because you're not hanging in his every word and asking him to tell you more ...

Dvg Fri 11-Jan-19 18:29:11

I would think oh well best move on He is obviously just looking for someone he can have good conversations with more than anything else.

I have had the same where i just wanted to find someone that i actually found interesting and could conversate with but everyone just seemed like a bit of an air head, until i met my partner i generally found it hard but now i have someone who is on the same wavelength as me like our brains are connected in the same way.

I wouldn't take it personally but it is just different personality's that have obviously clashed.

TellerTuesday4EVA Fri 11-Jan-19 18:29:35

Jesus drained the life out of me just reading that message.... sounds like a legend in his own head.

YogaWannabe Fri 11-Jan-19 18:29:45

“I’m a bit of a philosopher and a deep thinker”
Nah mate, you’re a bag of cringe.

Beaverhausen Fri 11-Jan-19 18:30:05

Ps. You do know he is basically insulting you, he is calling you stupid.

Apologies for sounding harsh.

I would find a really profound quote, send it to him and ask him if that is deo enough for him. And then block the sanctimonious dick.

Dvg Fri 11-Jan-19 18:30:05

BUT i would also say that his reply was way too much for a 5 date escape, so really you got lucky here and i would move on happy knowing that i got an escape.

Hellohah Fri 11-Jan-19 18:30:22

I'd think he was an absolute nutter and leave him drowning in his self perceived depth.

Run OP, run for the hills xx

Mooey89 Fri 11-Jan-19 18:30:26

Way too intense - the kind that tries too hard to be ‘deep’

Bombardier25966 Fri 11-Jan-19 18:30:42

He thinks you're a bit simple.

(His opinion not mine!)

RedPandaFluff Fri 11-Jan-19 18:30:41

Wow. I'd think he/she is an egotistical, self-absorbed, arrogant so-and-so.

You're well-rid!

Tanfastic Fri 11-Jan-19 18:31:00

Too high maintenance. Sounds a prick , sorry.

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