@darkriver I think many factors come into play when choosing which sites to join i.e. what you're looking for, what area you live in, how many unsolicited dick pics you'd like to receive on a weekly basis. For example, i am in NE Scotland and whilst other people on this thread have found Match to be busy, it's like tuimbleweed for me......
@jogrighton, I believe it refers to "irons in the fire" lol.
great news @jesuis!
As posted this morning my mind is preoccupied with Mr Italy. I think I am being seriously lovebombed and future faked .......certain things he says, does (or doesn't do) and that I have seen lead me to the conclusion that although the second sentence out of his mouth when we first started talking was "I am looking for a relationship", we are most definitely in a FWB situation with IMO no chance of moving to a relationship. I'm fine with that, if only he would acknowledge that that is what we actually have instead of spouting a heap of BS and allowing me the chance to put my emotional barriers up to where they need to be so i don;t get emotionally invested. Below are pros and cons and I'm sure I know what the wise daters of MN are going to tell me (I believe it will contain the word hills lol).
PROS - complimentary, can hold a conversation for hours, likes cuddles, doesn't comment negatively on my wobbly bits, is generous in bed, has a nice smile, remembers some little points of conversation in a current conversation.
CONS -
- 2nd date at his flat he opened his laptop to show me some photos and he had left the porn site open (whoopsie, let this slide as he is a single man and not my position to tell him what to do about porn).
- Every "date" from the 2nd to the 7th has been at his flat and from the 3rd has always ended in sex. Although stated above he is a generous lover, he is always in a rush, finds it hard to keep an erection and does not finish piv... (he says his partner of 15 years couldn't take contraceptive tablets and didn;t want children so they used the pull out method).
- Although not specifically said he is not talking to anyone else/we are exclusive he comes across very strongly (saying he likes me a lot, talking about living together in the future etc), he seemed jealous of the thought of me speaking/dating other men. I last saw him 2 days ago, after DTD he wanted to show me something on Youtube, so again opened his laptop and oops! He'd left the badoo live stream page open....awkward... when I was leaving he said he had arranged to meet someone for coffee but didn't as he likes me a lot.....
- he seems to swing between being happy not having a kid and wanting one. He is 43, I am 39 but I told him from the start I don't want more an if he does want he'll have to find someone else.
- His WApping is so sporadic and sparse. There is little to no content. we had arranged to meet earlier in the week last week and I messaged him to cancel as I had a throat infection and was on antibiotics......not even a okay, hope you feel better soon message. Zilch til i messaged him 2 days after to say i was feeling better and could meet.
- When we met 2 days ago I mentioned in a jokey way that he is obviously embarrassed to be seen in public with me as we always meet at his flat. He said he was going into town shopping the next day (i.e. yesterday) to do Xmas shopping and we could meet as i could maybe help him choose something for his neice, then grab a coffee. he said he would text me when he got up the next morning.......i haven't had a single message from him at all about anything. On a "date" previous to that i asked him to confirm whether he stioll wanted me to come round after work, I didn;t hear from him so drove to his flat to see what was happening - oops I forgot to message you, I fell asleep after work (although he was busy grouting when I arrived )
- He smokes weed and has done for the best part of his life he tells me. I don;t have an issue with it but it seems to me that this could be more to do with his erectile problems/can't orgasm PIV than what was happening with his partner.
to put this in context he keeps saying he wants to cook for me, he wanted to come away with me to the cabin i've booked next week, he wantsme to go to a hippie concert with hijm in Spain next year..... mate you can't even arrange to go for a coffee FFS. he also says he won;t see me much over the Xmas holidays as he has a friend from italy coming over on the 1st for about a week...... so because we are obviously FWB I'm not even worthy of an introduction to his best friend.
I know, i know, you are all shouting at me through the screen! I think what i am going to do if.when i next see him and he brings up doing something with me in the future i'll say "No, i don;t think so, it's obvious i'm only here for the conversation and sex" and take it from there?? If you made it this far thanks for reading lol. I know what really should be done but I don;t mind a FWB as long as I know where I stand, and TBH I can't face going back on OLD yet and I think I'm destined to be an old spinster with 10 dogs, a pot plant named Charles and pea green cardigans....