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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Relationships

What am I playing it🙊

71 replies

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 02:12

Girls! I need your help🙈

I don’t know where to start really I feel like a giddy school girl.

So for years, yearrrrs. I go to the same bar occasionally. (I don’t really go out that much) sometimes after work we’d call in or it’s my fav place to go with my best girl. It’s nice, it’s familiar. It’s not full of stinky students and we love it.

Anyway. The whole time I’ve went to this bar there’s this one doorman. (I know, a big beast of a man🙄, why wouldn’t I be attracted)

So yeah, for years.. he will make a point of coming over to me and chatting. I’m obviously too busy thinking about ripping his stupid clothes off to remember. It’s never really anything if substance but he will seek me out and we will chat. If we’re not chatting we’re looking at eachother. There’s an attraction. It’s obvious. I’m a grown woman and his hand gently brushed against my ass and I almost melted all over the place.

There’s a need to be close to him all the time. I purposely won’t let myself go there every time there’s an outting because its obviously crazy girl material.

He’s a little bit older than me🙊 or a lot. I really don’t care. This has been going on for years now. I’ve seen how he only speaks to other girls when they speak to him. I’m far too scared to make a move.

Have you ever been in a similar situation?

Tell me to grow up and get a grip I need distraction

OP posts:

Report

maximumcarnage · 13/12/2018 02:25

I’m no girl but why don’t you ask him out? Not as though you’ve got anything to lose and sure as hell have a lot to gain.

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 02:35

A mans view is welcome!

I don’t know 😬 I’m scared of ruining whatever it is, that weird chemistry.

I’m usually pretty to the point but with this it’s so different. I feel like a kid again. At times I feel we’ve both been close to it and he bottles it. Someone pops up or my friend chimes in. It’s a weird situation to even consider anything to be real feels

OP posts:

puddled2 · 13/12/2018 02:45

How many years

NiteWotcha · 13/12/2018 02:47

years and yearrrrrrs appaz

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 02:53

🙄ok guys!

Almost 10

OP posts:

BlackBeltInPresentWrapping · 13/12/2018 02:53

real feels

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 02:54

Well I’m thinking like a flustered school girl I may as well speak like one.

If anything it’s a distraction to how pathetic the situation sounds

OP posts:

BlackBeltInPresentWrapping · 13/12/2018 02:59

I'm no girl either. You will however find women and some men on this site. I haven't said best girl since school.

How old are you, OP, and have you been drinking?

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 03:04

Oh come on!

Stop jumping on my every word and let the morning me not regret this. What pc bollocks💤

I’m 30, sober and having some late night thoughts.

OP posts:

PyongyangKipperbang · 13/12/2018 03:06

10 years and he has never made a move once?

Probably married or shacked up but wouldnt turn down a bit of extra curricular with you. And you wont be the only one.

Sorry but I work in the pub business and have seen it happen all too often.

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 03:10

YES!

I’ve always thought the same! Still.. doesn’t stop me wondering.

I should probably stop pining and get over it eh

OP posts:

ohtheholidays · 13/12/2018 03:14

The next time he's chatting to you ask him what his OH thinks of him working there,at least that way you'll know weather he's taken or not.

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 03:18

I will. Feel like I already know the ‘I’m single’ response is coming my way.

It’s all so silly really. I know he has tried to ask me if I’m getting home ok or need a lift. I shut it down immediately, not sure why.

OP posts:

BlackBeltInPresentWrapping · 13/12/2018 03:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sadiesnakes · 13/12/2018 03:25

Yep

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 03:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PyongyangKipperbang · 13/12/2018 03:35

I know he has tried to ask me if I’m getting home ok or need a lift. I shut it down immediately, not sure why.

Because, while he gives you the fanny gallops, you know he is likely to be trouble. At best you would get a ONS out of it, at worst.....doesnt bear thinking about.

Heartofglass21 · 13/12/2018 03:38

If nothing's happened in 10 years, why the giddiness now? What's changed?

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 03:38

Everything you’re saying is correct. Major vg’s

I do avoid relationships like the plague. But my god. The connection.

I’ll try my hardest!

OP posts:

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 03:41

I think I just realised after I seen him, he picks up on the little things. It’s all very intense when we’re talking and then.. nothing.

I want it to change but if it will or not I’m not sure.

Ever been in situation that’s somewhat similar?

OP posts:

Emptyspace · 13/12/2018 03:42

Is he single? Are you single? If so what’s the problem?

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 03:45

Pretty sure he’s single. I’m single.

Just terrified of that change. Like at worst, I embarrass myself and have to avoid the place.

OP posts:

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kateandme · 13/12/2018 03:47

you don't do this for 10 years if its the real feels.have you dated people inbetween?

Completlywingingit · 13/12/2018 03:54

Hmm I have tried. Nothing of substance. My hearts never really been in it.

Maybe it’s just one of those things people experience. The chemistry. I would hate to ruin that.

OP posts:

kateandme · 13/12/2018 04:09

after 10 years you haven't got to know anything about him.this isn't liking then because you don't know him?

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