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Feel like giving up

(12 Posts)
abz12345 Thu 06-Dec-18 21:47:13

Hi everyone again, posted here before (https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3436008-Feel-betrayed-by-my-bestfriend-overreacting) and feel like I got some great replies and want to update what's going on and just looking for advice again!

Long story short I've like a guy in my uni flat for 2 months and told my best friend about him many times, she then comes over from Ireland to the UK and gets with him on a nightout, I was obviously upset with her, but to top it off the guy then starts talking to me about her saying he actually likes her and tries to turn me into his middleman.

My feelings then took over and I decided to tell him how much I like him and we had a few drunken kisses at the club, spent the night in my room, but then the next week he tells me how much he still likes my best friend and it would never work due to that.

Although I don't blame her fully, I have started to speak to her less and less as I feel she did betray me and the fact I would never think she would do it to me makes it ten times worse.

Problem is I feel like he has lead me on a little bit and he keeps hinting at me to get me and my best friend together which kills me, I keep thinking to myself if I didn't bring her over maybe we could of been together but she has ruined everything, I'm so upset right now i've had enough of being used and not sure what else to do!

Advice would be appreciate thank you so much!

Thejezebel Thu 06-Dec-18 21:51:01

That's shit OP. I wouldn't be their middleman, let them sort it out themselves. Try to move on. I know it's going to be really hard. Nothing worse than heartache.

abz12345 Thu 06-Dec-18 21:52:25

Thanks for the reply, I've been doing stupid stuff like avoiding him and trying to make him jealous but it doesn't seem to work, stuck in this flat until next June which is annoying.

ahouseofleaves Thu 06-Dec-18 21:56:37

I skimmed your previous thread. She's a bitch, and he's enjoying the drama. In the other thread, you mentioned that he kept asking you about her, and you said you didn't want to hear about, and he is still 'hinting.'

I know it's hard, but please try to move past him. He doesn't deserve this attention.

category12 Thu 06-Dec-18 21:57:01

Look, if he'd liked you enough, he wouldn't have gone with your mate. She didn't pinch him off you, he fancied her more. He's not into you. He has led you on, and let you down and now you need to get some dignity and stop chasing him. I mean, seriously, is he suggesting a threesome? hmm Fuck him off, he's a using little twat.

abz12345 Thu 06-Dec-18 22:35:23

It's true i'm giving him way too much attention but for the past 2 days i've been avoiding and ignoring him but it still doesn't seem to work! Guess the only solution is to tell him to fuk off even though it will hurt!

BettyCrook Fri 07-Dec-18 07:17:50

Did she know you liked him? otherwise he was fairgame!

TBH i'd be more angry at your flat mate for kissing you and giving you false hope.

He was just never into you, whether he saw her or not.

I'd try to move out tbh.

Musti Fri 07-Dec-18 11:43:14

What an absolute cow! That is no friend. The guy isn't into you regardless of whether your friend had been in the picture. Move on from the both of them.

missmoz Fri 07-Dec-18 11:52:14

Your best friend has behaved really badly if she knew you liked him. Unless she gives you a sincere and heartfelt apology I would be distancing yourself from her, you can't trust her. The fact that you liked him already will have validated his attractiveness for her, maybe she's insecure or attention seeking, but still, pretty shoddy choices on her part.

He's just not worth thinking about. Guaranteed you'll have forgotten about him in a year Go and snog someone else instead.

abz12345 Fri 07-Dec-18 16:03:30

Yes she 100% knew about him as I spoke to her pretty much every week about him for the past 1-2 months and she even gave me advice etc, then she goes behind my back to do that it's horrible, she even kept mentioning how sober she was when doing it which to this day I still don't understand - atleast lie and say you were drunk surely?

maximumcarnage Fri 07-Dec-18 17:44:24

This guy is a waste of space and of your precious time. Though I appreciate you have feelings for him you need to ditch him. He isn’t worthy of you. He’s not interested in you. Take whatever time you need to get over him and get on with your life. I dare say a few months down the road you’ll meet someone who likes you as much as you like them.

As for your friend. Well she wasn’t much of a friend let’s be honest. We can’t choose who we are attracted to but we can choose how we deal with that attraction. If I was your friend I’d be bending over backwards to make it up to you. At the very least it shows you what sort of friend she really is, and how much you can rely on her when needed. Which is to say not a lot.

I don’t know what you’re studying or your current circumstances but best of luck with your education. Ultimately when you get your qualification and score a high paying job, you’ll have the last laugh. Focus on you. You are what’s most important.

Sallygoroundthemoon Fri 07-Dec-18 20:40:14

I don't really understand why you have started a new thread as there is no 'update' and you are in the same situation (I remember your previous thread). However, that said, your friend isn't a real friend so I suggest you distance yourself from her. As for the boy, step away from him too and focus on someone else. You're at uni. Have fun without all this drama.

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