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I think I'm a bad DIL

(4 Posts)
MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Sun 24-Jun-07 00:04:15

Does anyone else?

I know I am quite lucky with my MIL, she's not overbearing, quite easygoing and doesn't rely on my DH. I also respect her a lot as she has raised my DH and SIL singlehandedly since my DH turned 6 YO.

BUT - I get annoyed (inwardly) over the most miniscule things that she does. e.g. buying too many toys for my dds (usually toys which fall to pieces after 5 mins), using babytalk with them, not listening properly to dd1s conversations.

I am sure that these things wouldn't annoy me as much if I felt I could be honest with her and tell her that it really gets my back up when she does these things. I feel that I would hurt her feelings unneccessarily.

In the same way, I don't think she could be completely honest with me, because I think sometimes she should tell me not to be so precious about the way I want others to talk to dds or feed them.

I was disappointed while we were on holiday that she did not feel that she could take the initiative to pick up dd2 if she cried or try to spend more time with dd1. Again I think it's my fault.

Our holiday was particularly stressful (my parents and sister came on this holiday too). I expected that all of the family would stick together in the evenings but only 1 night out of 4 did we all sit down to a meal together. I hope that I haven't made my MIL feel alienated on this holiday(she is quite quiet normally)

I'm now off to bed, I can't think of any way that I could improve relations with my MIL without hurting her feelings. Any ideas?

admylin Sun 24-Jun-07 00:19:31

I feel I'm a bad DIL too because MIL is miles away and the dc are not going to write to her and dreaw pictures for her of their own free will, I should encourage them more but I always forget, then I feel guilty. But then again dh should also encourage them - she is his mother but he hasn't got time.

WinkyWinkola Sun 24-Jun-07 07:35:15

How responsible can you be for another grown up?

You're responsible for your children. I think that's enough for anyone to deal with.

It's up to her to join you for meals - I'm sure you made it clear she was welcome.

If she did say she thought you are too precious with your children, would you then post and say how annoyed you are with her for saying so?

If she's not listening to DD's conversation, then why don't you say something like, "Oh what's that you're saying DD?" and encourage it.

GPs usually buy too many toys for GCs. Chuck them out if you don't like them.

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Sun 24-Jun-07 12:28:12

You're right Winky, I would probably be posting in the AIBU topic if she did tell me to pull myself together.

I had no issues at all with her before I had dds. I suppose we all have expectations of how we want our parents to be as GPs.

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