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It just isn't fair is it!

(13 Posts)
Ginbaby Thu 06-Dec-18 19:41:07

Can any of you relate to this?

I came out of a 5 year relationship a year ago from someone who didn't treat me very well. I had to go total 'no contact' with him in order to try to get over him & try to move on. It has been very hard. He has sent the odd text but I ignored him; this took all my self control not to reply.

Yesterday I was scrolling through facebook & then I saw it...a friend suggestion for him!( not an invite) Profile photo complete with his new shiny woman & his daughter all happy on holiday. I actually thought I was going to be sick.

This is a man who said fbook was for sad people ( though had an inactive account) & certainly never had a profile photo in all the 5 years we were together.

I have been ploughing on with my recovery and now feel like I did a year ago & want to curl up sad

How does he get to go on and be Mr. Happy after being such a shit to me? It just isn't fair.

showmeshoyu Thu 06-Dec-18 20:13:26

Would you rather he was unhappy or suffering? No amount of suffering is good or healthy to wish on somebody and being jealous of happiness is your mind punishing itself. He doesn't care that you find it unfair, he probably doesn't even know. You're not letting yourself be happy while you're like this. Try doing some things that show kindness to yourself. Don't look at Facebook for a while and find your happiness in the real world.

NotTheFordType Thu 06-Dec-18 20:20:59

Channel Angela Carter.
Tell him he has been cursed.
From now on, every minor ailment he has, he will put down to you.

5amWakeUo Thu 06-Dec-18 20:34:57

If you don't have friend in common or his number in your phone and he showed up then he might have been snooping on you - relish in that! If not, and it is practical to do so, take it as a hint to clear up your social media. (Facebook is evil.)

crappyday2018 Thu 06-Dec-18 20:42:51

There is every chance he has done the facebook thing so you could see it. If he wants you to see it then he is still bothered about you, so that is something to be smug about.
Just because he has a shiny new girlfriend, that doesn't mean he's happy. And try to remember all those awful things he did - he will now be doing to her. See this as a blessing cos you are now finally rid of him and he is someone else's problem. I would suggest blocking him on Facebook too.

BumbleBeee69 Thu 06-Dec-18 20:47:34

you will get there OP, and remember he's the same Dick that used and abused you. Photo's are split seconds in time, and not representative of the bigger picture. He will repeat the same behaviour, he can't help himself flowers

Ginbaby Thu 06-Dec-18 21:43:33

Thanks for your responses. I'm friends with his sister & brother so thats the connection I guess.

I've almost been regimental in avoiding any kind of 'memory jogger' as far as he is concerned and even avoided places I knew he might go to. I just couldn't face seeing him. I don't want him back but he is on my mind daily, even if i try to stop it.

And there is f**king is on FB!

Ginbaby Thu 06-Dec-18 21:44:24


gamerchick Thu 06-Dec-18 21:46:30

Block him, put it down to a blip and put it behind you.

LuckyDiamond Thu 06-Dec-18 21:54:59

If he was a shit to you then thank fuck he’s someone else’s problem now.

Onwards and upwards for you.

Ginbaby Thu 06-Dec-18 21:59:16

I tell you what this has has made me question how bad he was too me...did I imagine it all? Maybe it was me and he wasn't that bad?

This is tough..

LuckyDiamond Thu 06-Dec-18 22:04:17

You’re doing the classic of remembering the good bits. That can bite you on the bum.

You did what you did for good reason and I for one am really impressed with how you went about it. My break ups were always fucking messy.

Ginbaby Thu 06-Dec-18 22:33:03

Thank you Lucky but believe me it was so hard. I literally thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.

How shit is it that a man can do that to you...and then just as you are getting yourself together, its all dragged back out.

I know, I'm in control of how I feel but its easier said than done just to forget it

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