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(26 Posts)
user1469965217 Thu 06-Dec-18 18:33:06

Hi just want people's opinions can a serial cheat change once he meets someone and has a child?

buckingfrolicks Thu 06-Dec-18 18:34:11

That's a "no" from me.

rageymcrageface Thu 06-Dec-18 18:34:30

Wouldn't put myself through the potential hassle to find out.

Wingbing Thu 06-Dec-18 18:34:56

Not in my experience.

user1469965217 Thu 06-Dec-18 18:41:49

My self esteem is at a all time low. My ex has said it was me, and now he has become a father with new love he has never been happier and would never cheat.

Baking101 Thu 06-Dec-18 18:54:13

He just wants to hurt you. Ignore him, you're worth way more than him.

rageymcrageface Thu 06-Dec-18 18:57:43

Why are you even in contact with him?

Notacluethisxmas Thu 06-Dec-18 18:58:23

Hmm I think people can. People grow up. Learn from mistakes.

That said I wouldn't get with someone who was a serial cheat.

Also why did he say this to you? What conversation were you having?

Sunshineandflipflops Thu 06-Dec-18 18:59:22

Personal experience says no.

Armchairanarchist Thu 06-Dec-18 19:01:08

It depends where their life is. If you cheat on casual girlfriends/boyfriends when you're young then yes. I'm not sure why you'd care if it's an ex.

Duchessgummybuns Thu 06-Dec-18 19:05:41

Lol nope my ex had a child with me and cheated before, while I was pregnant and after

RivanQueen Thu 06-Dec-18 19:05:50

No, I don't think a serial cheat can change. You need to move on from this person and stop being in contact with them, they're your ex there's no reason to keep in touch with them.

user1469965217 Thu 06-Dec-18 19:19:01

He left 2 weeks ago without a reason or a goodbye. A week later he finally messaged me to tell me and that is what he said 2 me. He said all he wants in life is to be a dad and because our son was stillborn he said he wants a woman who can bring his child.

Notacluethisxmas Thu 06-Dec-18 19:25:07

He left 2 weeks ago and already has a son?

Or is this a child he had with someone else, while with you?

AnyFucker Thu 06-Dec-18 19:28:07


user1469965217 Thu 06-Dec-18 19:32:00

We broke up 4 4 months stupidly we got back together. A few weeks later he admitted he had been with someone in that time and she was pregnant. Things were better than they had ever been then 2 weeks ago she rang to say she was being induced. He went and never came back. He said he always loved her and was just waiting 4 her 2 want him back. We were together 4 years he only knew her 4 months.

maximumcarnage Thu 06-Dec-18 19:36:07

He sounds like a nasty piece of work, you’re significantly better off without him. Consider yourself lucky. Now you’re free to find someone who will love and care for you properly.

Graphista Thu 06-Dec-18 19:42:36

"and now he has become a father with new love he has never been happier and would never cheat." Bullshit!

He's feeding you cheaters script still - blame the betrayed spouse, rewrite history.

My cheating ex has 5 children with wife 2 who was OW - he is still cheating!

He's blaming you for your still birth?! Block the nasty cruel bastard! Vile excuse of a human being!

Shoobydooby09 Thu 06-Dec-18 20:02:07

You do not need this vile person in your life even after having been together for 4 years. Block, get rid off and never speak to again. You deserve someone so so much better who will make you happy flowers

Notacluethisxmas Thu 06-Dec-18 20:20:15

He is a horrible horrible person.

user1469965217 Thu 06-Dec-18 20:29:17

I know I deserve so much better. I let this man manipulate, control and use me. He never loved me but I'm finding it so hard to accept it was all fake x

Ozziewozzie Thu 06-Dec-18 20:30:24

In answer to your question, yes, a cheat can change. However, it’s not usually from a flippant epiphany moment, such as your ex is having. He’s desperately trying not to ‘feel’ like a failure. If he met ow whikst on a break from you then he didn’t actually cheat. But if he’s remained in contact with her since being back with you then that became cheating.
The ow doesn’t seem that sure of him though. Maybe she’s just scared of having a baby by herself?
What matters is you here. You’ve had to deal with having a still born and he’s ran off to someone who seemingly can give him a baby. My god, I so feel for you. You did not deserve that but you do deserve better than him. Far better in fact.
You are not second best so please never accept that position, even if he comes crawling back. It’s a tough situation to cope with especially with another woman and baby to contend with now.
This is not because you are not enough, nowhere near. flowers

rageymcrageface Thu 06-Dec-18 20:34:46

I'm truly sorry about your baby, OP, and the awful things he said to you about that. I don't know how to word it sensitively, but if one good thing has come of that sad situation, it's that you now have a choice about whether you're tied to such an awful human being for 18+ years.

You've been through enough. Move on from him and be kind to yourself. thanks

HollowTalk Thu 06-Dec-18 20:36:17

You've actually had a really narrow escape from a complete bastard. It hurts now but be kind to yourself - soon you'll realise just how lucky you are that he's bothering someone else.

user1469965217 Thu 06-Dec-18 20:37:49

Thank you I just worthless and 2 add insult 2 injury they named the baby identical name to my son. I just can't fathom why they would do that

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