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partner saying he is too busy to see me..

(12 Posts)
whatsthepointthen Thu 06-Dec-18 18:16:16

I’ve been on and off with my partner for 2 years. It’s been pretty rocky over the last year. We broke up recently because I learned he had met someone while we were broken up. I know we were over at that point but It broke my heart so I blocked him and I applied the 30 day no contact rule. We started speaking recently after around 6 weeks and he told me he had a hard time when we were broken up and he missed me. He told me it was over with the other woman and we planned to be friends, I was cool with that because he means a lot to me. It was nice being back in contact because we were very close and I missed him but I have found it hard to open up to him about my feelings. Since we have been talking we have started spending time together and now we are seeing each other again without a title. Back when we were together he was looking at houses and I supported him through the process that took around a year. He recently bought a house and ever since the sale went through has made little effort to see me. Last month my friend died and although he’s been in contact with me everyday to check up on me he hasn’t tried to see me. The day before the funeral I asked to see him, he said he was too busy, I was really cross and told him I feel like he’s putting things before me. The day of the funeral I was a mess and asked him to come over, again he said he wanted to but he was too busy. I feel really disappointed in him because we are so close but he’s so wrapped up in this house now and I feel irrelevant. I’m not sure what to do..

whatsthepointthen Thu 06-Dec-18 18:25:19

Sorry, meant to add this is on behalf of a family member looking for advice.

WinterSunglasses Thu 06-Dec-18 18:31:59

Do 30 days no contact again. He may miss you again that way, or you may break yourself of the need to contact him. Better either way than him brushing you off.

insertsomethingwitty Thu 06-Dec-18 18:38:41

No one is too busy, it's just a matter of how they choose to prioritise their time. He is telling you that you and your feelings are not a priority for him.

Wolfiefan Thu 06-Dec-18 18:40:04

You seem to care much more about him than he does about you. “Rocky”? You deserve better than that. Ditch him and find someone who makes your life better.

insertsomethingwitty Thu 06-Dec-18 18:40:34

No one is too busy it depends on how they want to prioritise their time. He's telling you that you and your feelings are not a priority to him.

percheron67 Thu 06-Dec-18 18:42:26

Ages ago, my boyfriend of about a year telephoned to say that harvesting on the family farm meant he was too busy to see me for a few days. After around ten days i received a "snail mail" (no mobiles then) to say that we were finished. I still hold resentment that he lacked the courage to tell me himself. Well rid of him though!

AnotherEmma Thu 06-Dec-18 18:48:22

He's not a partner, is he? He's an ex-boyfriend.
Boyfriend because you didn't live together (as far as I can gather) and ex because it's clearly over.
Move on.

whatsthepointthen Thu 06-Dec-18 19:33:17

No we didnt live together, he lead me to believe he wanted to get back together when we first started talking again, but now he is blowing
hot and cold.

Singlenotsingle Thu 06-Dec-18 19:40:10

If you really love someone, you want to be with them, and you can't bear to be apart. If he doesn't feel like that, then it's not worth the angst from your point of view

maximumcarnage Thu 06-Dec-18 20:14:44

I appreciate how you feel and how difficult it is to actually move on. However he’s clearly mucking you about. You need to block him completely, forget about him. Find someone who actually gives a damn about you and isn’t too busy.

pallasathena Thu 06-Dec-18 23:23:07

Get some personal boundaries in place and never, ever, let anyone treat you as a doormat.

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