I feel like my relationship with the pair of them needs to change...
I posted a thread on AIBU and some lovely lady inboxed me saying it sounds like underlying issues with them and i should get over to this board instead for better advice so here goes:
I had a nasty breakup with the ex, we couldnt stand each other - we've struggled to ever have any successful communication which i know has sometimes been picked up in the atmosphere by our little one :-( For years he just told me what he wants then if i said no i get screaming, swearing, abuse! He did shiftwork so his access was entirely decided by him & when he said he wanted him. I've always said all i wanted was consistency & regularity for my son (and myself so i know where i stand and not living by when he wants him!!).
So fast forward afew years and Ex gets into a relationship with someone - moves in with her after a matter of weeks - only found out when my son told me! I made the first step to meet her and made a big effort to get along with her. Ex has booked his ideas up since being with her tbh & i know my little one loves her. I have even started communication via this partner because its easier than talking to him & getting into pointless arguements.
Theres a couple of points where we have clashed (im trying to keep this brief but its not working very well)
- They booked an 8night holiday with my DS without even telling me! DS has never been away from me for more than 1 night before! The fact they didnt even think of asking me first??!! Thats not normal, surely?
- Ex has a job with regular hours now which i said was amazing DS can finally have regular contact! Except his partner turns around and says to me "we will let u know what days we can do...it wont be EVERY Friday cos obviously we need quality time together" which just left me gobsmacked! So Im still in the position of Ex being in control of my life as everything is dependent on if he has DS or not!
- Exs partner took my little boy & her own to a christmas party last week and iv since seen that she dressed them in identical outfits and has the photo as her profile pic on fb (i dont look, just happened 2 come across it and its upset me abit)
I just want them to respect me as a mother and listen to my opinions, and to do whats right for our little boy not just what suits them! I feel like they just do as they want and walk all over me. And its annoying me alot that he didnt put in 100% for years and years and now hes with someone and playing happy families! Is there anything i can do to help matters improve?