Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How do you get your man interested in you again?

(18 Posts)
PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 10:40:43

Does anyone have any experience of re-igniting the (long burned out) flame with their fella?

I'm feeling low and unwanted, and i need ideas for perking him up a bit!

DaddyJ Fri 22-Jun-07 10:59:18

A hint of unpredictability
Shared fun hobby

Suggestions any good?

BandofMothers Fri 22-Jun-07 11:03:02

Yeah, you coud try waiting til he's in a good mood and not tired, preferably then surprising him with something impromptu. Very tricky with lo's about tho.

If you don't particularly, then making an effort, shave legs, put on a perfume he likes. Light some candles with dinner and cook his fave meal, wear a sexy dress.

kama Fri 22-Jun-07 11:05:38

Message withdrawn

PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 11:09:59

well i've just done one of the DIY jobs he meant to do 2 days ago, that should cheer him up!

Also just ordered him a naughty DVD, which will be delivered under his name- perhaps we can watch that together. We haven't done that in ages.

I don't know why it's got so difficult. Sometimes I feel like there must be something wrong with me for him to be disinterested

I've said we should have one night a month where DS stays at FIL's / we get a babysitter and go out *on our own* with no baby talk either.

DaddyJ Fri 22-Jun-07 11:12:41

Is he feeling low in general
or only cool towards you?

Crucial distinction.

BandofMothers Fri 22-Jun-07 11:12:42

DH and I have a date night and go out properly, dinner etc. It's lovely (when we don't argue), and we try not to talk about nothing but the dd's.

You need the time alone away from hte house.

PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 11:14:16

thanks DaddyJ

Perhaps i'm just boring him?! We do the same stuff, talk about the same things...we're really happy, but like best friend happy, not lover happy.

I could probably make more effort too. he's in work today, so i might do my hair and make up and put a frock on before he gets home. (To be honest, he could make more effort too, but i don't fancy broaching that subject!)

PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 11:15:00

DaddyJ- in general. He's always achey / tired / stressed, but does little about it.

DaddyJ Fri 22-Jun-07 11:28:52

Ah good.
If only towards you then I would have completely seconded
kama's suggestion - remind him how interesting you are!

If being low is his baseline mood then
we need to home in on how to get him excited.

What does he really, really enjoy?
On his own, together with you.

PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 11:36:32

he likes to relax- we watch films together, eat, drink (although me not so much in my present condition!)

DaddyJ Fri 22-Jun-07 11:48:40

I missed that tiny detail
course you're preggers. Congrats btw!

Treat him (and yourself!)
Nice meal, fun comedy, glass of wine for him,
you wearing lovely dress
- a special night-in once a week/fortnight.

Relaxing yet exciting!

PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 12:00:58

i think i will, starting tonight.

no nagging, tidy house, dress on, i have a spag bol on the go (not very exciting, but best i could do with what i have!) will have a nice bath and spruce myself up before he gets home aswell. (oh for the days when all i had to do was undress in front of him!!!!)

not pinning my hopes on tonight too much. will just keep making an effort for a while and see what happens i guess.

DaddyJ Fri 22-Jun-07 12:16:32

Hey! 'see what happens'??

It's going to be fantastic!!!!

Hmmm, Spag bol..would do it for me!

PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 12:18:01

my spag bol would- it's pretty good. it's all in the bayleaves!

PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 12:44:01

it's going wrong already.

i was moving some dvd's earlier and found this old porn one i hadn't seen before. I assumed (correctly) that it was from a few years ago when DH and i split briefly, and he'd packed it away and forgotten about it. I went online and bought him a 'sequel' thinking he might like it, and i sent him a text for a laugh saying 'ooh, (insert title here) eh?'

just got a text back saying something along the lines of 'oh i apologise for buying some shitty DVD when we weren't together and forgetting about it etc etc'

i replied asking if he'd lost his sense of humour on the way to work today, and apologising for buying him another shitty DVD thinking he'd like it.


DaddyJ Fri 22-Jun-07 14:15:21

Is he not just trying to protect your feelings?

When he realises that you want to watch
the sequel together with him, he might
just change his mind

PregnantGrrrl Fri 22-Jun-07 15:22:23

no, i think he thought i was being all mental and annoyed about the 'secret' DVD because i'd not seen it before. should have put a at the end of the text i think! never mind. maybe the sequel's better anyway!

so far i have clean, done hair, make up on, minty fresh breath...I feel nicer for even making an effort to be honest

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now