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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

is anyone online please?

(113 Posts)
sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 05:25:30

please someone be online

Anniegetyourgun Thu 21-Jun-07 05:33:50

I'm here - couldn't sleep, will be going to work in a while. I saw what you said on the other thread about your H in the pub. That's pretty devastating, I don't know what to say except: [hug]. With any luck he was just a bit tipsy, it was a spur of the moment daftness which would not have led to anything, and you catching him will give him the shock of his life. I hope that's all it is. Sometimes they can be such idiots.

If it's more - well, you've read enough here to know you're not alone, you will have a great deal of support and advice if things get nasty.

Sorry, rambling, I'm not properly awake yet, just wanted you to know someone is listening.

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 05:36:15

no his in oxfordshire im in kent

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 05:37:28

he went there monday night to work. and i got a text yesterday morning that i knew werent for me so i called o2 to see how he was calling got the number and the girl who answered said she was his girlfriend

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 05:39:35

he kept denying it by text so i went up to see him to sort it and she was there and he spoke to me like shit told me to fuck off home he didnt love me. so i left but got lost so turned round to oxford to start again had phoned this thing cos his phone was off said if h is with you please put him on me and kids are lost and need help she swore he wasnt with her and she didnt know where he was

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 05:41:41

then i get a message from her saying isnt the sat nav in car working? How would she know i had one if he wasnt with her. So i went to nearest pub to where his staying and as i walked in there they were. Cant describe the pain of seeing some dog on my husbands lap with his arm s round her. I stormed up to them and threathened her he just walked out.

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 05:43:47

followed him out and he said he didnt love me anymore he didnt want her and wasnt planning to have sex with her then she comes out flying at me saying she doesnt care if i hit her and im nothing but adirty slut! So i obliged and punched her so fucking hard hse went down. she ran in pub crying i got in car and drove off

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 05:47:32

then i got arrested on the m40. me and kids sjust got home. No charges not even a caution. He said i pushed him and thresthened to kill the kids no mention of her at all. im feeling all over the place ashamed that i hit her angry and in so much pain at what i saw and numb that he could do this to us. btw our baby girl is 1 years old tomorrow. i have to leave him but i know his going to beg to come home thats why he wouldnt let her press charges. i feel sick my inside feel they have been ripped out of me. i dont think i have the energy to cry anymore

quokka Thu 21-Jun-07 05:53:44

oh my god. Ok you need to walk away from this situation. It is no good for you or the kids!!!

NotQuiteCockney Thu 21-Jun-07 05:58:31

What a mess! Has he been working away for long? Did you have reason to believe he was seeing someone else?

You absolutely do have to walk away - why would you want to keep, or fight for, a man like this?

quokka Thu 21-Jun-07 06:00:51

he sounds like such a horrible man and he is lowering you to his dirty standards! Why do you need someone like that in your life?

SittingBull Thu 21-Jun-07 06:05:15

Message withdrawn

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 08:25:46

oh its definately over i could never trust him nor could i ever let him touch me again she even said to me being married didnt bother her she just saw it as a couple of weeks of sex and thats it

Budababe Thu 21-Jun-07 08:28:18

She sounds charming. Glad you punched her! Hope it felt good..

You poor thing. Have you any RL support?

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 08:29:06

my parents are coming up saturday but no one close to me

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 08:30:27

my hand iss till throbbing! it was calling me a dirty f ing slut that did it that and the image of her all over my husband. told her she wants to play around with married men she needs to take the consequences too.

anorak Thu 21-Jun-07 08:31:01

OMG sugar what a hideous woman. She has no conscience at all.

I don't know what to say, you poor thing

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 08:33:03

why am i a slut? his my husband! i just cant get my head straight

ggglimpopo Thu 21-Jun-07 08:33:29

Go and see the CAB and a sol,; channel your anger into sorting yourself out and doing something positive.

At least you know now, and knowledge is power. Use it to get yourself and the children into a good place emotionally and financially.

The french say 'It is better to walk alone than in bad company".

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 08:33:51

i want to cry but there is none left im just empty

anorak Thu 21-Jun-07 08:34:08

I've noticed that when people feel guilty they often accuse the innocent party of exactly the thing they feel guilty about.

That's why she called you a slut.

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 08:34:47

thats why my parents are coming up because icant think and its dd 1st birthday tomorrow.

Anniegetyourgun Thu 21-Jun-07 08:35:02

Oh my god, that's awful. I like that SHE called YOU a slut (makes you wonder if he'd told her some peculiar stories about you). But to say you'd threatened the children is low, really low. Well, it's a horrible way to find out, but good riddance to bad rubbish.

sugar34plum Thu 21-Jun-07 08:36:04

he said it was my fault for not being affectionate enough. and he couldnt handle being away from me in oxfordshire. told him to come home but he wouldnt he wants the money

BandofMothers Thu 21-Jun-07 08:36:37

Don't know you, but am so glad you punched her, you must really have followed thru. Am so sorry you had to see it really as the image kind of sticks in the mind, but at least you can move on now, and get rid of scum who doesn't deserve you.
hope your dc's didn't see anything and are ok.

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