I have lost count of the number of times I have tried to leave DH. I have a pattern of telling him i've had enough, finding somewhere else to live and then just letting it get brushed under the carpet until the next time.
He is always grumpy, he criticises everything I do, i feel like I can't do anything right. He is like a dark cloud over us most of the time. DC tell me they hate him, he is unfair on them all but especially DS1 who is not his biological child. Some examples of his personality or behaviour are:
DS1 had run out of the breakfast cereal he likes, I said he could walk round the corner to the local shop and get some, DH said no, we are not wasting money on cereal, ds should eat the other cereal, I said all DC's had the cereal they liked and DS doesn't like them, whats the issue with spending £2 on cereal? He raised his voice as he always does, I refused to back down as I am sick of him telling me what to do all the time, if I want to buy my son cereal then i will, he kicked off and stormed out the door to work. After he had left I noticed DS1's mobile phone was missing, I had left it on top of DH chest of drawers the night before, I text Dh asking him if he knew where it was, he denied it. Later once he had returned from work the phone suddenly appeared in the living room, i asked him how it got there, he said he found it on top of his drawers. I told him I had looked everywhere for it and it definitely was not there, he starting shouting at me asking if I was calling him a liar, I just said I know it wasn't there, he then proceeded to call me a stupid bitch amongst other things.
I know he took the phone, I think its his way of being in control as I disobeyed him and let DS buy cereal.
He is very controlling but in small ways.
anyway, I can't keep going on like this, it's a miserable existence for me and DC.
Handhold please ...
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Relationships
need handhold to leave and stick to it this time
Anotheridiot · 15/11/2018 11:57
I’m in a similar boat (kind of) with my partner and I know how difficult it is. You say they are small things, but it doesn’t matter how small those things are: it’s the intention behind them which is all the same.
I’ve been reading up on something this morning and it explained that people who want to leave such relationships find it difficult because whenever there is an easy ‘settlement’ as in he starts being nice and you get back in to the comfortable routine again it’s easy to go back - but it is instant gratification. In the long run, you will still be miserable and the situation will not change or it will get worse. Think about how much instant gratification you allow yourself by going back time and time again, then think about what it is doing to change the situation you are in. It isn’t.
Think about your future self, and your children’s futures rather than the present moment. This is helping me get my head around in saying goodbye and doing it for good. 
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