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He sent the letters

(8 Posts)
jenk1 Wed 20-Jun-07 08:29:34

I wasnt able to talk DH out of sending the letters to his dad and sister.

I told him they were too harsh and a lot of trouble would come out of it but he said he didnt care, he actually rewrote the letter and i asked him to leave a few points out but he left one point out of his sisters but nothing of his dads.
so they will get them today and ive switched the answering machine on and am ignoring the phone.

there will be backlash, i tried to say look what it will do to ds and dd if they come up here and he said he told them not to come up here to consider the kids and phone his mobile and he will meet with them and i said they will just leather you cos thats what they are like and he said he doesnt care and can fight his corner.
ive never seen him like this before, its frightening, hes extremely determined, he has told me his memory is coming back and he keeps getting flashbacks and he,s so angry.

i wish there was another way but this is the way he wants it to be and ill stand by him, i only know a snapshot of what went on when he was a kid and i dont want to know anymore cos thats bad enough.

poor dh, he,s such a lovely man and he doesnt deserve this

NoodleStroodle Wed 20-Jun-07 08:31:15

Looks like you are in for a bit of a rough time on the family front. I guess the best thing is for you to try not to get directly involved (slanging match down phone) and stand by your man - a voice of calm and reason when everyone it loosing it. Good Luck!

anorak Wed 20-Jun-07 08:31:34

Perhaps he needs to do this help himself heal.

I know it's hard on you but if you put up with all the shit and stand back to back with him no one will be able to damage you again. Thank goodness he talks to you about it.

Budababe Wed 20-Jun-07 08:39:10

He sounds incredibly brave. Not sure of background - am assuming some sort of abuse. Is he having counselling? It may help.

Pixiefish Wed 20-Jun-07 08:40:05

Sending you both massive hugs Jenk xx

Troutpout Wed 20-Jun-07 08:41:24

Oh good luck Jenk
I agree with anorak

FioFio Wed 20-Jun-07 08:41:51

Message withdrawn

jenk1 Wed 20-Jun-07 09:49:59

yes i do think this is part of the healing process, he has been having therapy/counselling but he,s stopped for a couple of weeks cos he says he needs to get his head around a few things.
he,s going back to it in a couple of weeks.
i cannot imagine how he must feel, first his mother leaves when he,s a toddler, his uncle abuses him, his dad batters him and his sister subjects him to mental and emotional abuse then when he stands up for himself about his uncle they all seem to back the uncle up and cut him off.
no wonder he,s angry.
we are going out today to a little pub for lunch and im hoping it might make him calm down but this is the quiet before the storm, i have to trust dh and i think he,s very strong atm and he says he can deal with them/wants to deal with them and i admire him greatly.

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